


Continuous Oneshots: Cyrus and Jonah

by Hudstrige1



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: Buffy Driscoll - Freeform, Drunk!Jonah, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, TJ Kippen - Freeform, Vaping!TJ, You help me continue the story, angsty jonah, jyrus - Freeform, prompt list links in notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 16:39:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 54,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15392967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hudstrige1/pseuds/Hudstrige1
Summary: The story starts out with nineteen year-old college freshman Jonah Beck arriving to eighteen year-old high school senior Cyrus Goodman’s with noticeable anxiety.The story continues with you requesting whichever lines from the prompt lists that’ll be linked in the notes-not written in order of request.





	1. Chapter 1

Jonah is allowed to walk into the Goodman’s home at anytime. The ‘Goodman’s’ of course being Cyrus, his Dad, and step-Mom.

This is something he does a chilly fall evening after a class of his that he got out of later than usual, being greeted to Cyrus classically standing at the stove and slowly stirring the pasta he’s preparing for himself to have tonight with his parents currently away for the weekend.

Not that he’ll have a problem with potentially serving Jonah. Like, at all. He’ll insist. 

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” Jonah asks, walking up behind and Cy’ and wrapping around his shoulders with his arms, nuzzling his lips against the top of Cyrus’ back and hearing him giggle.

“Pasta.” He glances over and smirks.

“Mm...” Jonah continues, burying his face deeper and moving his arms around his torso.

Cyrus grins and turns his head towards him.

“How was class.”

Terrible.

“Usual.”

“Mm,” Cyrus giggles. “I’m _not_ gonna have all this. You’re eating some, you must be starving.” He rests down the spoon.

Jonah giggles, regrettably letting go of him and sadly watching Cyrus step over towards the cabinet above the end of the counter.

He follows.

“Do you _need_ something?” Cyrus giggles, stopping before the cabinet and looking at Jonah who’s doing the same.

“You don’t even need to _ask_ ; it’s _your_ home too.”

Jonah smirks. His home is actually wherever _Cyrus_ is, but, same thing.

He says no response, simply watching Cyrus Open the cabinet and retrieve the spice he thinks as the number one key to his stand out pasta recipe.

On his way following behind Cyrus back to the stove, he lifts him up by the waist and teeters him slightly, grinning as Cyrus giggles out loud and grins down at him.

Jonah nests his lips back against Cyrus’ neck.

“ _Jonah, later,”_ he insists, and Jonah abruptly guffaws.

“ _That’s_ what you think this is; you’re _cute,_ Cyrus.”

Cyrus laughs along with him such the mistaken assumption, growing louder at the thought of his foolishness and having mixed feelings when being set down by the other boy. The boy who’s never far behind.

“I get nervous about you cooking alone, ya know” Jonah brings up when Cyrus is dabbling the spice within the pasta at the stove, again hugging from behind and this time leaving his neck a few kisses.

Cyrus giggles from the ticklish feeling. “I’m okay, don’t worry.” He smiles.

“I worry about you, ya know.”

That’s when the uneasy feeling sits deep within Cyrus’ stomach.

“Jonah...” Setting down the spice container, he turns himself around and makes sure Jonah is directly facing him.

“What’s going on...” He’s gently sliding his fists down Jonah’s wrists.

He doesn’t like that look in his eyes or on his face.

When anywhere but his comfort zone, Jonah constantly sticks around Cyrus like his life depends on it. Because according to the anxiety-it does.

New setting or not, since Cyrus is Jonah’s safe place, when the anxiety heightens, Cyrus is the one and only person Jonah dares stick to.

 _This,_ is one of those times. And Cyrus feels oblivious for not realizing it right away.

“Nothing. Just-“ Jonah makes sure to look away.

“School’s been really...Hellish.”

That word sends Cyrus’ eyebrows raising and his stomach turning.

Jonah is nothing but blessed that his university is a thirty minute drive from his parents-and all the other needed locations such as both Cyrus’ Mom’s and Dad’s, Andi’s, Buffy’s, The Spoon, and Grant High School in general.

He’d rather be anywhere but on campus during weekends weekends; even at lunch being nothing but eager to visit Buffy, Andi and Cyrus who are still attending Grant as seniors.

It hasn’t even been six weeks into the first semester and he feels like everything’s crumpling.

While Cyrus being unable to apply right where Jonah is because the school lacks his dream major is disappointing for him, it’s _terrifying_ for Jonah. Even the other in-state schools Cyrus are applying to are distances farther than Jonah expected, and that alone makes his head spin.

The dream school Cyrus doubts he’ll get into but wants to apply to anyway to see if he’ll have the opportunity; _that’s_ in New York, and Jonah feels ashamed when secretly hoping Cyrus won’t get in after all.

Then he’s reminded of how happily shocked Cyrus would be if he did, and concludes that for Cyrus happiness is all he wants.

“Jonah I _know_ you can pull through to the end of the semester. I know you can. Winter feels far away right now but-“

“I don’t know if I _can,_ though.” Jonah wipes one of his many expected tears.

“You’re _thirty_ minutes from your parents. _Thirty_ minutes from my Dad’s and barely an _hour_ from my Mom’s. We can meet you at your campus for lunch if you’re not up to drive that day-“

“N-no it’s an hour of driving altogether and _you_ guys need to make it back in time-“

Cyrus exhales and brushes a fallen tear from Jonah’s right cheek. He shushes him lightly.

“I’ll FaceTime you between _every_ class at Grant if I have to” he says, making Jonah giggle and shake his head.

“I’m sorry...”

“ _I’m_ sorry it’s so overwhelming for you. It’s not abnormal, though. For _any_ student coming back let alone new freshmen. You’re _so_ lucky you’re a good distance away.”

Jonah recalls to his roommate who’s five hours from his home. Something Jonah couldn’t and _doesn’t_ want to picture dealing with.

“ _You_ might not be, though...” The hurt in his voice is unmissable.

“ _Jonah...”_ Cyrus sighs. “We _all_ know I’m not going to New York.”

“You don’t _know that-“_

“Let’s say I somehow _did_ end up in New York...Andi’s still here. Buffy. Gus, and TJ. Each of my parents would still be around...” Just saying these things send more tears down Jonah’s cheeks.

Cyrus ruffles his hair, lightly brushing the stubble on his chin and lighting up at his smile.

“No matter _where_ we are, we _still_ got each other...Got that?” He moves down his his hand into Jonah’s own.

Jonah peacefully exhales at the feel of Cyrus’ hand squeezed in his own.

“Got it...” And he means it. It feels so good to have that planted in him. No matter the physical distance, they’ll _still_ be in each other’s hearts. Something Cyrus needs for both of them to know explicitly.

Something that’s finally, _finally_ getting through to Jonah tonight. It couldn’t feel more relieving.

“Good.” Cyrus switches directions and turns off the stove.

“Stay here tonight” he insists, turning back to him. “Eat. Sleep. I’m sure the traffic was terrible.”

“You eat?” Jonah wants to make sure before getting at what he’s considering.

“I’m more worried about you than me, right now. I’m not so hungry.”

“ _So...”_ Jonah brings him intensely closer. “When you thought I wanted sex, you said later...When is later.”

Cyrus laughs with an honest bright smile. “You didn’t hear? You’re actually the one in charge of time now, so-“

During the laughter, Jonah picks up Cyrus and intertwines their legs.

After sleeping together is when they fall asleep together, in nowhere other than each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List one Prompts used in this chapter:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> List one link: https://www.google.com/amp/s/hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/amp
> 
> Tumblr: heyoricohannah


	2. Drunken Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in a while, Cyrus and Jonah have to confide in other people besides each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Used Prompts used from list 1:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 46.  
> 71.
> 
> Used Prompts used from list 2:  
> 71.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.

The second Jonah is comprehensibly awake is the second he panics. He wishes being tangled in Cyrus' arms was enough to stop everything. He wants the fact that Cyrus is asleep right next to him, to assure him enough to know that where he is-in Cyrus' bed-in _Cyrus'_ home and as he put it _Jonah's_ home-is safe and sound.

The anxiety demands he knows nothing will never ever be enough.

And that pains him.

Cyrus slowly wakes up to Jonah panting against his bare side unlike the way he was last night, as he sits up with shrunken eyes and heart that's anything but steady.

"Jonah..." He mumbles, eyes only half open as of now and trying to reach out for him.

The lack of clothing isn't helping Jonah's sense of security. He sits up on his right side of the bed and picks up his pile of clothes that he can't get on fast enough.

"Jonah c'mere."

He flinches and steps away from Cyrus' touch.

"N-no."

"Jonah come on. It's too early for this..."

To say it stings is an understatement.

"'It's _too early_ for this'?" He can't believe what he's having to recite.

"That's not making me _feel better,_ Cyrus." With his bare feet he stomps over to where Cyrus is still yet to fully awake on his side of the bed.

" _Wake up,_ Cyrus!" Completely frustrated at the sight of Cyrus' eyes barely fluttering Open, Jonah takes the pillow his head rested on and smacks him with it.

" _Jesus Jonah what the hell-"_ Now Cyrus is wide awake, sitting up and scowling at Jonah like never before.

"Yeah _now you're awake-"_

" _What_ the hell is going on?!" Cyrus demands, just wanting to change back into his pants with a peace of mind.

"I agree, Cyrus! It _is_ too early for this!" Jonah spreads his arms and turns away.

"Jonah."

Cyrus cringes when he walks out the bedroom door and begins his way down the stairs.

" _Jonah!"_ He gets up and properly puts back on his shirt during the way to him.

"Jonah- _why_ are you leaving." He stops him just before the front door.

"Just go back to _sleep,_ Cyrus. I don't want to _bother you_ with _my_ anxiety."

"Jonah _what I said-"_

" _Made me sound_ like a problem. Because I _am._ " Jonah can't decide who he's madder at.

"You're anything _but. Clearly_ we're not morning persons and that was the unawake me talking. You know I'd _always_ help you with _anything."_

"That's the thing, though-you don't _need_ to. And I shouldn't expect you to."

"You just wanted my help, though...” Cyrus feels like Jonah's switching his words.

“Forget about it. I'm just overreacting. Like always..." Jonah's noticeably ashamed with himself.

" _No_ , okay?" Cyrus needs to get it through to him. "You're not. When you are overreacting it's the anxiety. Which you don't deserve. Jonah you deserve _so much_ better."

" _You're_ the one that deserves better. And I think that's why I should go..." Jonah wipes his tears and transports to the porch before Cyrus can protest.

"Jonah don't-"

Cyrus steps out behind Jonah but isn't there long enough to grab him when he walks down the steps and towards his car.

It doesn't matter how many times Cyrus calls his name, or how many tears he begins to cry.

Nor does it matter how much remorse Jonah's already feeling deep within.

Because in the end he's left with Cyrus' sanity that has replaced with his very own, his own that was lost some long time ago.

 

Jonah gets to Buffy before Cyrus can.

"I don't think we can do it Buffy. All this damn anxiety of mine is giving _him_ anxiety, and it's not good for the _either_ of us. I'm too toxic." He worries to her from across one of the booths at The Spoon.

"You are _not_ toxic." Buffy insists. "Your anxiety just makes you _feel_ that way. And _that's_ why I really think you should try to take control of it." They already both know she's implying medication.

"W-we've talked about this m-my Mom had trouble coming off her pain killers when-"

"That _doesn’t_  guarantee you'll be the same way." She stops him from using the same excuse he's always used.

His Mom had struggled with pill addiction, so Jonah fears that if he takes anything of the sort then he'll face the same issue.

"Jonah..." She takes his hands, tensely but carefully looking into his eyes. "It's worth a shot. And if _anything_ happens...You _know_ we're all here for you."

But he doesn’t. 

He almost starts crying all over again. "Thank you..." He gently lets go of her; hands fanning out and softly wringing together.

"I-I just wouldn't want it to affect Cyrus. He's been affected enough. I don't want him hurting anymore because of me. B-but I _can't-_ live without him Buffy I just can't." He quickly wipes away a few sudden tears.

"Somebody's in love!"

He laughs with a shake of his head, but not in a way that's saying no. It's more so disbelief; fascination with _how_ he ended up so in love with this one damn kid.

He's in no way denying it.

"I am...I _really,_ really am."

She smirks. "Really? I couldn't tell."

The two laugh.

"And you know what? Cyrus is in love too. Ya wanna know with who? _You."_

"What if that changes..." Jonah fears.

"A _lot_ of things would need to happen for that to change. You think Cyrus is gonna suddenly give up just 'cause you're struggling? Remember be _fore_ you left for college?" She smiles.

Jonah was arguably more of a wreck then compared to the kind of wreck he is as of now.

He's calmed down a little now that he's friends with his roommate and has gotten somewhat used to the routined schedule of most things.

Jonah chuckles. "Yeah..."

He bleakly looks back at the time when he was seriously considering revoking the acceptance he still doesn't think he deserved.

Fast forward to today where part of him still wonders if participating was actually the right decision.

Cyrus was correct, right? _All_  incoming freshmen feel like that for the first few weeks. First few _months._ Jonah's still debating whether the feelings he's experiencing are actually toxic and much more than feeling homesick. 

His home that he's _thirty_ minutes away from.

"I want him in my future, Buffy. I _see_ him there. I just don't know if I'm seen in his..." He expresses.

"You are. By him and a _lot_ of other people. In _cluding_ me." She smirks contently. Never has she had more faith in any two people like Jonah and Cyrus. If they can't make it, no one can.

"Yeah...Me too..." Jonah happily accepts it as his fate.

"Also, one condition: _I'm_ planning your wedding." Buffy cockily grins at the thought.

Jonah laughs. The thought of that kind of future doesn't really freak him out like he thought it would.

In fact it's what he hopes for.

"You sure that's a good idea?" He teases.

"Yes! You'll both be wearing wedding dresses to break the gender roles."

He smiles. "I never imagined myself in a wedding dress."

"You should _now_ if you wanna marry Cyrus!" She proudly insists, causing fits of giggles from them both.

"Thanks for making me feel better...And realizing that he and I are gonna be okay..." Jonah thanks her.

"You will be."

He grins.

"You, uh, wanna come back to campus with me?" He'd really rather not be alone right now. He starts up in preparation to leave.

" _What?"_

"You can just say no-"

" _No!"_

"Okay I was just-"

" _No,_ I mean no as in _no because_ I'm trying to ask you _why_ you aren't going to Cyrus instead!" She just might snap in half.

"I-I'm gonna call him...!" This is resuming his anxiety.

"I just— _also_ think we both need our space. As in like, physical time apart."

"Well if you're _gonna_ talk to him you might as well see him!" She stands up in protest, facing him directly.

"Could you just give me a few hours back at the school?"

"I don't think _that's_ gonna give you good head space, Jonah."

"Well I might as well get used to being there." He shrugs it off.

"Okay. But just know that place _doesn't_ make or break the rest of your life."

After hearing that, Jonah knows he's definitely going to be crying during the drive over.

"Thank you Buffy..."

"You know what?" She decides. "Let's go."

"Huh?"

"You _wanted_ me to tag along, right?"

That would make everything a lot less hectic.

"You're the best, Driscoll." He smirks.

"I know."

The tears can wait.

 

"Hey Cyrus..."

Buffy insisted on driving to the campus so Jonah could focus on planning out the voicemail he's attempting to send to Cyrus right now.

She's a much better driver than him, anyway. His cellphone is connected to the Prius' car charger and currently on speaker, so Jonah can have an easier time trying to get through this.

As if it's not already hard enough.

"Um..."

He can feel Buffy's glare from the rear view mirror.

"I-I just wanted to say: I get if you're mad. I'm mad too. At myself. I-I'm on my way back to school right now and you probably don't want to see me yet, but...I'm here. Again I'm sorry." He figures that did him justice and hangs up instantly.

"How was that?" He panics to Buffy.

"Good! But I think you should have told him you love him." Her eyes remain on the road.

"I do! But that’s probably _not_ what he wants to hear from me right now..."

" _Dumbass._ That's the _first thing_ he wants to hear from you right now."

"Well why didn't you _tell me_ that?!" Jonah frazzles.

"Because you should be figuring it out for _yourself!_ "

"Okay I-I'll call him back-"

"No!" Buffy stops Jonah from reaching for the phone.

"Tell him in person. It'll be more romantic."

"And that will be _when...?_ " Jonah's worried enough as it is about Cyrus possibly not wanting to see him.

"If you don't hear from him, then go to him. _No._ Don't. Let _him_ come to you if he's not gonna call so he can prove he's not meaning to be a dick."

"So what do I do??" Jonah still doesn't understand.

"I don't _know_. Just drive."

"You're driving."

"Shit you're right." Buffy just barely resumes her focus.

 

"Jerome, you remember Buffy."

In their dorm, Jonah presents Buffy to his fairly understandable and sweet roommate, this being the third time he and Buffy have met.

"Hey, nice to see you again" he smiles to her, politely shaking her hand and earning himself a nice smile.

"Hey."

"So what brings you guys here? You have a good time last night?" Jerome looks at Jonah. He didn't know Jonah was seeing Cyrus, but he was aware how happy he looked about going where he was.

"Oh, yeah..." Jonah smiles through the painful thought of what resulted the morning after the bittersweet night.

"You think you'll go out again tonight?" Jerome asks.

"Uh, like, on my own, or..."

"I was just wondering if you wanted to tag along with me to Chad's dorm tonight." That's nothing but an implication for a party scene, which would be abnormal for there not be on a college campus during a Saturday night.

"Sure, yeah."

Jonah usually stays away from those environments since for him it's quite loud and overstimulating, but he could use a nice distraction if Cyrus _won't be_ responding.

"I could use a few drinks." He considers.

"Not _too_ much, though. We don't need you calling Cyrus" Buffy tells him, in which Jerome is nothing but intrigued.

"Everything okay?"

He's already well aware of their relationship; having met Cyrus plenty of times both over the phone and in person.

"Not really" Buffy answers for Jonah, who's already shrinking down insecurely.

Jerome looks at Jonah for answers.

"I spent the night with him last night and we fought this morning. He still doesn't want to talk to me, I don't think..."

"Fought about what?"

"My anxiety."

Buffy speaks before Jerome can.

"He'll come around" she's expecting it. "I'm sure it was just the morning talking."

Jerome chuckles. "Yeah man." He looks at Jonah. "Don't sweat it so much. You wanna smoke a bit?"

"Oh, I think I'll just wait till tonight to drink."

"If you're gonna take the edge off you really should just smoke" Buffy advises, and Jerome is agreeing.

"Things could get out of hands easier if you drink" he adds.

"I dunno. I've never really smoked yet." He's waiting to do that with Cyrus and TJ.

The first time he drank was in junior year at a usual party; where he only got a bit tipsy which TJ and Cyrus found hilarious; letting Jonah goof off for only so long before taking him home.

Since then Jonah never took it much farther than that. Something that might change tonight if this situation with Cyrus is still eating him up the way it is.

Which if there's no contact by then, Jonah will have to take what he can into his own hands. ‘What he can' being the bottles of alcohol.

 

At this point it's been about three hours since Jonah had left Cyrus', and two hours since he left him that voicemail.

The voicemail Cyrus is too terrified to listen to and face alone, which is why he called over no one other than TJ to brace it with him.

"Thanks _so much_ for coming over dude. I can't listen to this without you."

"I don't know why you're freaking out so much Cy'. It's probably just him telling you how much he loves you or some shit,"

A more than mellow TJ plays it off with a shrug and takes a long hit of his cookies and cream scented vape.

"I told you not to vape at my Dad's house" Cyrus responds.

"Do you see him anywhere?"

"Whatever. Just-" He looks down at the phone he so dearly clutches. "Let's just listen to this..."

TJ takes one big hit during the entirety of Jonah's voicemail.

He exhales the vapor once it's finished. "Damn...Told you so."

Cyrus is still sweating and scrunching up his face in worry.

"He doesn't _have_ to be sorry!" He cries out. "I'm calling him back to tell him I'm meeting him."

"What-why do you have to meet him?" TJ frowns.

"Why _not?_ I don't want to do this over the phone. Drive me to the campus?"

"Oh, _can't_ you just FaceTime? Or have _him_ come _here?_ " TJ stalls.

" _You just don't want to drive me"_ Cyrus sees right through him.

" _Fine."_ He can't say no. "But, what if he's not there anymore? Or he's busy?"

"What could he _possibly_ have the desire to be doing?" Cyrus asks.

 

"Last chance Jonah." Jerome is letting Jonah know from the corner of the room, where he and Buffy are lighting up.

"Um...I think I'll just watch." He considers at his spot in front of the door he was planning to head out of.

"You sure?" Buffy smirks over at him.

"Yeah...I thought we were going to Chad's dorm?"

"We will in a few minutes." Jerome's currently focused on working his lighter.

" _Don't_ leave without us." Buffy insists. "I'm keeping my eye on you." She points to Jonah.

"Okay."

So, Jonah sticks around to watch. He tries to ask them if they can all leave now, several times, but the pot's made them a bit hopeless. When Buffy and Jerome are too out of it to even comprehend whether or not Jonah is in the room anymore; tossing and eating spare peanuts while giggling, Jonah gets the hell out of there-as it it makes any difference.

 

On the way to the school, Cyrus keeps monologging to TJ what he wants to say to Jonah.

"'Jonah, I'll do _whatever_ I can to help you through your anxiety. It's not your choice and I can only imagine how overtaking it feels'."

"Okay that's good-"

"'I love you _so so_ much and I _can't_ live without you'-"

" _Stop._ You got too gay again."

"Well I _am_ gay; what do you expect! And stop vaping while you drive! Two hands on the wheel."

"Quit telling _me_ to drive when _you_ don't even know how to."

"I _do_ know how to! My instructor just never wants to _pass_ me."

"Uh-huh. So, should I just like-drop you off?" TJ figures.

"I don't know yet. I don't want to have no where else to go if he doesn't want me there."

"That's the _trick._ If he wants you to leave, and you can't, you'll _have_ to stay there. Things will work out from there."

"He could always just drive me home."

"Then _get through to him_ during the car ride and convince him to stay another night."

"Okay..." Cyrus isn't opposed to the plan coming to that.

"Good." TJ takes another hit.

"I said-"

"Well _you guys are stressing me out!_ " He protests, almost looking away from the road.

Cyrus looks at him and shrugs. He figures it's only fair.

This is the first time in a while that TJ's had to deal with Cyrus and Jonah’s relationship angst to such an extent. At the end of the day, TJ may vape way too much, but he's always been the kind of friend somebody can always need.

Cyrus is more than appreciative.

 

Unlucky enough for Jerome, Buffy, TJ, Cyrus, and most of all Jonah himself, not only has he already made it to the dorm and found the alcohol, but has disobeyed Buffy's wishes to not have too much, and is halfway past tipsy when he's stumbling out to a different party taking place right outside.

" _Ayeee._ What's up Beckham?" He's greeted by one of the few of his stoned classmates that always get his last name wrong, who are grouped together to the side and trying to get his attention.

"Hey..." The boy can barely speak.

"Lighten _up,_ dude!" One smiles. "You didn't get wasted just to _mope around,_ did you?!"

Yes.

"I dunno..."

The kids cackle.

"Oh my _God,_ this is _great."_ The same one praises.

" _Shit_ dude." Says another of the three. "You know who you need?" He speaks directly to Jonah, whose wishful thinking is hoping to hear the name Cyrus.

"Natalie. _Shit,_ dude. Angela hangs out with her and she told me Natalie would fuck you in a heartbeat. She's always chewing on her pen when she looks at you."

He hasn't noticed.

"No thanks. I have a boyfriend. I think. I hope I still do..." Jonah begins to look at his surroundings. "I'm gonna go..." He absentmindedly walks away from them three to call Cyrus.

Something that Cyrus couldn't be happier about.

"He's calling me. He's calling me!" He exclaims from the car that TJ is continuing to drive to Jonah's.

"Talk to him! Hey!" TJ yells when Cyrus has no choice but to turn down the rap he's blasting from the stereo.

"Hello?" Cyrus tries not to greet too eagerly. TJ sneaks small glances through the rear view mirror.

Cyrus can already hear the scenery before Jonah responds. He currently sits perched in the corner of the noisy environment in hopes of tuning everyone out.

"Cyrus! Shit, you picked up." His words happily slur.

Cyrus' stomach drops, and so does his perked expression.

"I'm _sooo_ happy you picked up."

"You've been drinking tonight, haven't you..." Cyrus' voice is somberly dark.

TJ almost swerves after hearing that.

" _Maybeeee,_ " Jonah giggles.

"J-"

" _Listen._ Listen listen listen. I, am a fucking _mess,_ okay. I _know_ that." Jonah laughs out of spite. "I dunno if you got that voicemail but I _meant_ it, Cyrus." He's talking slower now.

"I did. Jonah please don’t be sorry for sticking up for yourself this morning. I'm going to get you, okay?"

As much as Cyrus _wants_ to be fucking pissed at Jonah for resorting for this, he can't _not_ feel sympathetic.

Jonah wouldn't have turned to this if he didn't feel so guilty about what took place this morning. About his anxiety in general.

"You're driving here?"

"TJ's driving."

"Ohhhh TJ! Tell him hi! Put me on speaker." This overjoys Jonah.

"Um later." Cyrus is trying not to smile past the hard shell he's struggling to disguise himself in.

" _Mmmm_ I'm sorry." Now Jonah's mumbling. "I can't _wait_ till you're here. This place sucks."

Cyrus brings himself to giggle. "We'll be right there. I'm probably gonna have to say it over and over for you to know I mean it, but...This morning was _really_ bad on my part. I'm _so_ sorry I wasn't more understanding."

"Now that's not too gay" TJ comments.

" _I'm_ sorry I'm such a bi fucking disaster." Jonah raises his voice.

"Jonah _don't_ say that-"

"I _am_ saying that because it's _true,_ Cy' guy! _God_ I fucking love calling you that." It brings a sensation to Jonah's stomach.

"Me too. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you until we get there?" Cyrus knows to speak calmly.

"God I'd love that. Did I ever mention that Buffy's here-?"

That's when Jonah's phone dies.

"What? Hello? _Jonah?"_ Cyrus takes the phone from his ear and sees that the call's dropped. "Shit."

He tries to call back but it goes to straight to voicemail.

"Dammit."

"What happened?" TJ checks in.

"His phone died."

"Eh, we're almost there. He sounded _really_ annoying anyway. I could hear him."

Cyrus snickers and fails to elbow him.

 

When Cyrus and TJ barge into Jonah's dorm in hopes of possibly finding him there, instead they find Buffy and Jerome, who are continuing to get stoned off their asses.

"Oh shit hey guys..." Buffy notices them, still in the corner with Jerome as she crushes handfuls of peanuts within her fists.

" _Dammit_ Buffy. When Jonah said you were here I didn't think _this_ is what he meant." Cyrus snaps to her, dragging TJ further into the room with him.

"Oh yeah, Jonah. Where'd he go?"

"That's what I was _asking you about_ on the way here."

After Jonah grew unreachable, Cyrus remembered what he said about Buffy and began to text her regarding the problem.

She never bothered to read the messages.

"Ohhh _that's_ why my phone kept buzzing."

Jerome cackles.

" _Where_ is Jonah?!" TJ yells.

"Somewhere drinking. We wanted him to smoke with us but he said no" Jerome answers.

"Yeah, he's _wasted."_ Cyrus recalls.

"So are you gonna work shit out or not?" Jerome pries.

"What _else_ would I be here to do other then get him back on his feet. _Jesus,_ come on TJ." Cyrus has had enough of them and is about to leave with his dignity.

"Wait. Can I get a hit?" TJ requests to the two in the corner.

"Only if I can hit yours," Jerome points to the vape. "What flavor you got?"

"Get your own!" TJ is highly protective of his vape.

" _Come on!"_ Cyrus finally gets him out of there; the vape almost dropping to the floor when TJ is grabbed with such force.

 

It doesn't take long for them to find Jonah continuously remaining among the growing party scene at the front of the building.

While Cyrus couldn't be more relieved but concerned, Jonah couldn't be happier when he discovers who's come to his rescue.

" _Cyrus!"_ He runs up to him the the best he can, and drops his phone to the ground when jumping on him for a hug.

"He- _ey!"_ Cyrus jumps up, not wanting to sound too surprised by Jonah's force.

TJ stands not too many feet behind them, exhaling his vapor as he steadily observes.

"Dance with me." Jonah's already trying to lead him in the opposite direction.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Cyrus can only find it so funny; smiling at Jonah nervously and making sure he can't squirm away when enforcing his hold.

"You're here. You _didn't_ have to be here I love you _so_ much." Hopping from one subject to the next, Jonah is automatically snuggling his face into Cyrus' right shoulder and gripping onto him tighter.

"I love you too..." Cyrus stares off into space savoring these moments that Jonah probably won't even remember in a few hours.

" _Love you."_ He repeats, kissing Jonah's head to reinforce the reminder. He _loves him._

"Last night was _great._ " Jonah raises his head and remains eye contact.

"You were great."

"Aha..." Blushing, Cyrus awkwardly looks over at TJ who's sheepishly staring back with a shit ass grin on his face.

"I'm sorry I'm such a _mess_ " Jonah switches the topic again, and Cyrus decides he would much rather have Jonah be talking about what he just was rather than resuming to self doubt.

"Jonah-"

" _No."_ He actually moves away from him and walks next to TJ.

" _Cyrus c'mere."_

He frowns but does as told, knowing the amount of alcohol is pushing Jonah from one extreme to another.

TJ vapes awkwardly.

"I wanna go _home..."_ Jonah whines. "You should just take me back to my parents I'm sure you don't want to deal with me another night-"

"Jonah _stop."_ Cyrus insists. "You're coming back with me."

"I am? _Wow_ you're great." Grinning, Jonah pokes at Cyrus' cheek.

"I didn't know you brought Buffy here. She should've been keeping an eye on you." Cyrus insists.

"Ehhhh whatever. She should be enjoying herself not babysitting me." Jonah knew how concerned she was about him slipping up until she grew under the influence herself.

"She can drive your car back later. Let's just get you settled." Cyrus links his arm in his.

" _Carry meeee..."_ Jonah's back to throwing himself on Cyrus, and TJ exhales his cookies and cream vapor in their direction.

"TJ carry him." Cyrus can barely lift Jonah up to hand him over.

TJ throws a giggling Jonah over his shoulder so he can continue to vape at the same time.

Cyrus picks up Jonah's phone for him.

"Ready?"

Jonah laughs once more, droopy eyes struggling to view the ground from where his head hangs past TJ's shoulder and faced away from Cyrus. "Cyrus I can't see you. Cyrus."

"Tallyho" TJ interjects, beginning to lead Jonah away and smirk in response to more of his laughter.

Cyrus follows with a needed sigh.

 

For Jonah's own sake, Cyrus was hoping he would black out and forget all of this, but he's more awake than ever in TJ's backseat where he's squeezing Cyrus' hand and chatting off all ears during the ride home.

"Jesus _Christ_ I'm a mess. I mean seriously just throw me on the side of the road and let me learn my lesson you guys don't deserve to deal with me and antics wow I'm so crazy-this is annoying I mean seriously what's _wrong_ with me?"

To top it off the poor kid starts crying.

"I hate me..."

That tops it all off for everyone. Even TJ has goosebumps and hair sticking up on the back of his neck. He knows to just keep driving. Not to interfere with words of wisdom just yet.

"Jonah..." Cyrus gives his hand a good squeeze. TJ can only glance back so much when behind the wheel.

"You know we both love you _so_ much."

"Yeah dude. Want a hit of my vape?" Speaking of TJ’s wise words. 

" _No_ " Cyrus answers for Jonah, who he brings in closer and strokes the arm of gently.

He lets Jonah lay in his lap; stroking and brushing his fingers through his hair; something relaxing on both ends.

Instead of feeling car sick like he thought he would, the smooth ride of the car brings Jonah's anxiety levels down, not to mention Cyrus playing with the hair on his head that's resting upon him oh so peacefully.

He slowly but surely drifts off to sleep in a surprisingly stable state of mind, and is softly woken up by Cyrus when they arrive back to his Dad's.

"I don't think I can get up...Oh _shit."_ It's been proved that Jonah's panic is worse when he's trying to release himself from a previous state of sleep.

"You gonna get sick?" TJ asks, and Cyrus instantly accuses the cookies and cream vapor scent that's in the air.

"C'mon" TJ encourages, getting out the car and coming around to the back to help Jonah up.

"Alright. It's okay, here we go." Cyrus assures to him, helping him out the vehicle by holding onto his right side, and TJ his left.

"Let's lie you down..."

They steadily walk Jonah towards the open garage of the house, the very same garage that is abruptly being entered into by Cyrus' Step Mom, who contemplates at the sight.

"Boys...?"

"Lori?" Cyrus asks.

She hastily walks out of the separate room and onto the driveway.

"Oh dear. What's going on." Based on how Jonah's needing assistance she's assuming he's having either a physical or emotional episode. How 'bout both.

"Since when have you guys been back?" Cyrus can't ignore that.

"There was a gas leak at the hotel so we had to evacuate. Your father dropped me off and drove off to the pharmacy real quick."

"Of course he did..." Cyrus knows that this is just his luck.

"What's wrong?" She's looking directly at Jonah, and TJ decides to answer "ummm Jonah's gonna stay here because he's sick."

"Y-yeah" Cyrus goes with it, hoping Lori won't put the two pieces together.

Jonah not only throws up on the pavement he's struggling to stand on; but the shoes he uncomfortably stands in as well, which only confirms Lori's prior suspicions.

A pregnant silence overtakes them all for a good chunk of a minute, before TJ weakly asks:

"See...?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upcoming prompts from list 1:  
> Request some for me to use! ;)
> 
> Link to list 1: https://hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/  
> post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list
> 
>  
> 
> Upcoming prompts from list 2:  
> 11.  
> 53.  
> 82.
> 
> Comment your requests below, or request them to my tumblr!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah
> 
> Link to list 2:  
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list


	3. One Compared To The Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus helps Jonah freshen up and make a rather important choice regarding his illness. TJ experiences a crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m here! And super proud of this chapter, so if you enjoy it let me know. Please please please comment, no matter how you felt. Make sure to request remaining prompts from either list that will be linked in the end notes!

Lori wasn't hard on any of the boys for the situation that's so obviously taking place, and she know her husband won't be either when he gets back.

Like they were saints in college. Plus it's not like Jonah's reasoning behind getting drunk was to goof off and get wasted just for the sake of getting wasted like any other college kid. He was broken. So since he's not on any prescribed medication, the alcohol was his treatment. Not used very wisely, but, to each their own.

Lori and TJ helped Cyrus guide Jonah upstairs into the bedroom, to which Lori brought up a big glass of ice water and a few Advil.

Cyrus stayed seated on the bed by Jonah's side, carefully observing him down as much Advil deemed appropriate and chugging what he can of the mouth numbing water.

"Would you like a sandwich, dear?" Lori asks TJ, who sits downstairs on the living room couch and tries to keep the sight of his vape discreet.

"Oh, no thank you, uh—I think I'm gonna go say bye to them and take off..."

He sneaks a quick hit when Lori away turns her head for one quick moment.

"What was that?" She notices the small amount of vapor still lingering through the air once she looks back to him.

"Huh look at that I have no idea..." TJ acts out the obliviousness.

Mr. Goodman returns at TJ's preferred timing.

"TJ," he strongly greets. "You waiting for Cyrus?" He walks into the kitchen and sets his newly received prescription onto the counter.

"Uh, he's actually upstairs with Jonah. I'm giving them some privacy" he shares, to which Lori adds "Jonah's quite hungover."

"Ah." Mr. Goodman walks into the room. "He finally loosening up at school?" He's been aware of Jonah's struggles.

Again: if only Jonah had decided to get drunk for the fun of it.

"Mm, not really..." TJ doesn't hide the discomfort within his voice.

"Hm." Mr. Goodman then realizes Jonah's intentions were anything but to loosen up. TJ says to him, "he and Cyrus had some drama this morning. But they're okay now."

That they are.

 

Cyrus didn't think he was going to be the one put to rest, but leave to Jonah to provide the comfort when he's the one in clear need of it.

"Jonah-" he's the one that's now under the covers and Jonah the one upright and standing over him.

"Shhh. You need to rest."

"You as in your _self_ " Cyrus insists, sitting up in the bed which shifts the blanket to only cover his knees.

"Okay. But I'm holding you."

TJ makes his perfect entrance by clumsily stumbling into the open door way, dropping not only his vape but tripping over into Cyrus' dresses and knocking over a few things.

The noises aren't friendly to Jonah's migraine that was subsiding.

"Oops. S-sorry." TJ picks up his vape first then begins to flimsily set the items back in their places; somehow managing to be louder than he just was.

" _I'll get it._ " Cyrus tries not to speak with such volume despite his thick tone.

TJ hastily finishes the job in a suddenly quiet manner, and steps aside.

"Why are you the one resting." He points to Cyrus within the bed. He figured they'd let Jonah's hangover pass by before getting busy again, but it's not like he holds them to any fault.

"Because Jonah thinks _I'm_ the one who needs to be catered to, not In."

"How about _I_ leave so you can both cool down. That includes you." TJ sternly points to Jonah.

"You want my vape to relax?"

"No."

"Good 'cause I wouldn't have given it to you."

They all chortle. Cyrus gets out of the bed to stand next to Jonah.

"If Buffy's still at the campus can I go over there and hang with her?" TJ asks to him.

"Yeah, I don't care. Tell her not to worry about the car until morning. Make sure she hasn't done anything stupid." Jonah requests.

"Like I usually do?" TJ smirks, and the other two laugh in agreement.

TJ hugs them both, and they're all laughing after Jonah tells him to not be so gay when TJ reminds him that both he and Cyrus love him.

With his arm protectively around Jonah, Cyrus watches TJ pull out his phone as exits the room and is heard calling Buffy on speaker as he walks downstairs.

"No vaping in the house, son." Mr. Goodman reminds TJ just before he can reach the front door.

"My apologies. Thanks again, guys." TJ thanks the two standing together within the next room.

He waves goodbye specifically with his vape.

"Hey, you still at Jonah's?" He greets to Buffy after she picks up, now outside on their front porch.

"Hey, yeah. Jerome just left." She now sounds less high, but still pretty foggy.

"Want me to come get you? Jonah said I could go back."

"He say you could crash here? I don't feel like leaving."

"Who said he has to know?" TJ gets his keys and starts the walk to his car. As he unlocks it he can hear Buffy chuckling.

"Nice, dude. Jerome went to his friend's dorm and'll probably stay there tonight, so we'll be good."

"If not we can just lock him out." TJ walks around to his side of the vehicle.

"Ugh. I feel like such a _bitch_ after what I did to Jonah."

"You're not a bitch. Just a stoner."

" _Fuck you,_ " her laughter reflects TJ’s own.

"So he's okay? Jonah?"

"Yeah, he's upstairs with Cyrus." TJ opens the car door but waits to step in.

"Good."

"Tell me about it. Cyrus was driving me _crazy_ with his dramatic interpretation of the whole thing."

"Oh, _please,_ you just don't like getting sucked into other people's problems."

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?!" TJ cackles.

" _I,_ on the other hand, _like_ helping them out with their stuff."

"That's because you always talk to _Jonah_ and he’s less of a _pussy_ about it. When _he's_ the one who has actual anxiety."

"Can’t argue with that.”

Before TJ begins the drive, she lets him go so he can blast his rap music and drive with one hand on the wheel as he pleases.

Like a true friend does.

 

Jonah is in fact holding Cyrus just like he insisted on doing.

They lie on top of the covers, Cyrus near the edge of the bed with Jonah's face squished into the gray tee worn over his torso's left side, just the way they want it.

"I love you, Cy' guy." He can hear the vibration from Jonah's muffled mumble.

"Love you more."

"Mm-mm."

Jonah can already tell how offended Cyrus is by that disagreement, and the physical feel of his chirping laugher has Cyrus guffaw.

"I know you're probably _so_ tired of hearing this," Jonah says once he's raised his head and resumed eye contact. "But I really _am_ sorry."

"You don't gotta be." Cyrus takes his hands.

"You're probably tired of hearing this, but I love you very much."

"I'm never tired of hearing that..." Jonah smirks.

"How about this." Cyrus strokes a strand of Jonah's hair.

He knows he's not going to particularly enjoy hearing this.

"Do you think...Maybe Advil pills aren't all you need?" He hints. "Perhaps-"

" _Cyrus."_

"I know...But..."

He's highly aware of what Jonah's own mother went through in the stages of coming off the pain killers she was described for chronic pain.

It went as far as rehab, and Cyrus never wants Jonah or his family to have to experience something like that ever again.

Which is why Jonah is shying away from any medication of his own. Cyrus can only understand to a certain extent. The anxiety's been visible since eighth grade, and it's about time some action be taken against it.

"You will be okay. They'll find the right one for you and it's not going to fix everything but it'll do you good-"

"What if it's not even that. What-what if nothing works on me at all...”

"Jonah that's not psychologically possible. We _know_ people who are prescribed. Andi's on Zoloft. Amber-"

"They don't have genes like I do, though..."

"Amber's family has bad addiction history. _She's_ doing okay. You weren’t even _planning_ to drink tonight. You've _never_ been reliant on that stuff. So why would you be now..." Cyrus tries his best to explain the circumstances.

"Because it's a prescribed substance and my Mom..." Jonah doesn't feel like repeating himself.

"Everyone's different. Your great aunt, didn't she used to have a drinking problem?"

"Yeah, and yes I'm okay with alcohol but my genes aren't _directly_ linked with hers they're linked my _mother's_ who-"

"Okay. Okay..." Cyrus strokes down Jonah's arms again to slow down the pace of his words. "I understand your concern. But...Was your Dad ever on anything prescribed."

"I dunno m-maybe something for sleep..."

" _See."_ Cyrus pokes at Jonah's cheek.

"And my aunt Dina-you met her-she's on all this stuff for her lupus, so..."

"You should be okay, Jonah. The _only_ problems will probably be getting it settled. But that only makes sense."

"Yeah..." Looking off, Jonah hates the thought of having to wait for the meds to finally, finally start working.

This whole experience has deprived him of much patience.

"Amber's lithium didn't work for months."

" _Ugh._ " Jonah lies his head down against Cyrus' chest as he thinks through that whole ordeal.

Cyrus plants a kiss to Jonah's head.

"Next time you wanna get drunk just do it for the fun of it, okay?" Cyrus requests.

In other words, don't get drunk 'just to mope around' like those stoners from the party put it.

"As if I weren't already annoying _enough_ as a self deprecating drunk?" Jonah teases.

"As worried I was you were pretty adorable climbing all over me earlier." Cyrus recalls.

Jonah laughs out of disbelief.

"Are-are you flirting with me?" He smiles to him nervously.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Cyrus again strokes a strand of Jonah's hair.

"I dunno, I m-mean, you're allowed to not want to. You can _be_ mad at me." Jonah's almost making it sounds like he wants Cyrus to be mad; sitting up and looking off, appearing to be more ashamed about himself than ever just in that one moment.

Cyrus wishes he could be surprised that Jonah is jumping to such conclusions.

"Jonah...You're _still_ my boyfriend."

This is what unfortunately happens whenever Cyrus and Jonah have their rare big fights or experience massive tension. The anxiety of Jonah's tells him Cyrus no longer wants to be with him and that they're over, even after things have been resolved.

"Don't let anything fool you." He gently rests his hands upon his shoulders.

The voice in Jonah's head finally vanishes for the time being.

He needs to believe it more than he wants to. The anxiety is an overthinking nag that he wants dead and gone but he knows the wiring in his brain resists that.

Maybe medication just might be able to help. Who's to say it won't make things just a little bit easier.

They both wish it was simple. But nothing ever is.

"I'll do it..."

"What?"

"I'll talk to my doctor..."

"And you're gonna do it for _you."_ Cyrus can't have Jonah doing this for someone who isn't his own self.

"For me..." Jonah repeats. " _And_ you. And everyone else around me. Because I'm not the only one this hurts..."

There's commitment in Jonah's eyes and just from seeing that Cyrus thinks he might cry.

"It can't hurt to try."

This isn't a be all or end all. If it's not for Jonah, it's not for Jonah.

And if it is, no matter how long that takes to find out, it'll be worth each and every side effect, cent it costs, and drive to the pharmacy-because that’s exactly what Jonah is. He’s worth it.

"And...I'm not trying to push things, but, do you think maybe you'd want to try talking to someone? Not any of parents-"

Jonah laughs politely and glides a finger through Cyrus' hair.

"Yeah...I think that'd be a good idea too."

"You can do this, you know." Cyrus squeezes both his hands.

"No. I don't." That's thanks to the anxiety, and Cyrus gives his left temple a light kiss. "I'll convince you no matter what it takes." He whispers softly into Jonah's ear, making him giggle softly and arch back.

Cyrus is hopping off the bed as Jonah sits up, who watches him retrieve a spare pack of gum from the desk drawer and tossing over two wrapped pieces.

"What's this for?" Jonah gets the hint about his breath and smiles slyly.

"So I can kiss you."

Jonah guffaws, in which Cyrus jumps back on the bed and tries to store the pieces inside Jonah's mouth currently gaped wide open in laughter.

Already laughing hysterically with a wide open mouth, Jonah can't get one word out, snatching away the gum and struggling to chew it in his mouth while unable to stop his laughter.

Cyrus can only shake his head and laugh less intensely at such the sight.

"Sure you're still not a bit buzzed?" He teases.

Jonah puts himself together as much as he can,  and touches Cyrus' forehead to his own.

"Is my breath tolerable yet..." He drags out in a long whisper with his mouth inches away from Cyrus', giggling with closed eyes as Cyrus grins ear to ear unable to not snicker in response.

He answers by kissing Jonah with all he can which includes his tongue, almost bursting out laughing when he swears he can feel the chewed gum pieces sill within Jonah's mouth.

"Jonah if your gum ends up in my mouth I swear to _God,_ " he breaks the kiss just to tease him, and at that point Jonah pins him down against the comforter almost laughing the gum right out of his mouth.

" _First_ of all-"

Cyrus can't even keep eye contact without uncontrollably laughing, in which Jonah has to hold his head in place and intertwine Cyrus' calves with his very own.

" _You're_ the one that practically forced it into my mouth-"

They guffaw.

"And _second off-you're_ the one over here doing whatever you want with that tongue of yours-"

Cyrus is practically screaming with laughter now.

"So don't blame _me_ if _my_ gum ends up in _your_ mouth."

Cyrus struggles just to wipe the tears from his eyes, losing some sense of comfort when Jonah removes himself from him completely to separately sit up.

"Jonah don't swallow your gum!" Sitting up, he exclaims seeing Jonah do just that.

"Why not?" Jonah looks to him. "Spitters are quitters."

"Yeah _you're_ one to speak," Cyrus boldly responds, and Jonah swears the intensity of all this laughter is going to make his head implode.

"Still gonna kiss me?" He asks with arched eyebrows and a wise ass smirk, only for Cyrus to answer a big fat yes by pulling him in and connecting their lips.

He lays himself down on the comforter with Jonah on top of him, who lightly begins grinding against him only to stop and break apart from the kiss with a small sigh.

"What is it..." Cyrus assumes something worse than hesitation.

Jonah snickers softly. "I guess this is what I get for drinking too much." He glances down at the region of him failing to participate.

Cyrus gets the hint and sits up cackling. "Oh _nooo. Poor,_ poor Jonah Beck," he smiles, climbing onto the boy and pinning him down near the end of the mattress so that this time he's on top of him.

Poor poor Jonah Beck is giggling blissfully, in question of how he got just so damn lucky.

"Remember my freshman year when _all_ we did was fool around and now we can barely squeeze in the time-"

They laugh at the such change of pace. Last night was the first time in a while.

Jonah hums in thought. "Yeah...Things were easier back then."

Cyrus giggles in partial agreement. "Ya know back then I would always wonder how long we would last. If I would be able to picture us still together years ahead." He puts out there.

The two of them most definitely had that in common. Hell, Jonah can say he still has those same thoughts today. It’s the anxiety.

For both their sakes and sanities, everything paid off but not without any tension or hardships. They're not gonna be asked how they made it this far and not know how to answer. From day one they were aware of all the effort and commitment that had to be into such a relationship.

As for all their fate and luck, they still haven't any idea.

All they can do is assume it comes from one another.

"And here we are..." Jonah concludes.

"Yeah." Cyrus touches the boy's smiling bottom lip. "Here we are..."

The few moments of possible perfection is interrupted by Jonah's head resuming to throb, which he makes well aware with a whine and touch to his hairline.

"Do you think a shower would make my head worse?" Jonah's in need of a fix.

"No," Cyrus trails his finger down Jonah's left cheek.

"I'll get it ready." He carefully stands up and turns around to look over him.

"You're gonna have to carry me..." Jonah smiles, just barely sitting up.

"How come we never take baths?" Cyrus smiles, lifting him off the bed with this time no problem and holding him just above his shoulder.

" _Because. Baths_  are gross. You're just sitting there-"

"' _In your own filth.'"_ Cyrus quotes Jonah right as he says it, adding on " _but_ -what if you're already clean? I say that _every time_ and you _don't_ answer me-"

Jonah's laugh worsens the headache but right now he doesn't care.

"Showers are better." Is all Jonah insists without amuse.

"At least _baths_ have _bubbles_ " Cyrus begins to carry him to the bathroom connected inside his room.

"At least _showers_ drain your filth as you're standing."

Cyrus opens up the door and steps in.

"At least _I'm_ not flaccid right now."

Cyrus' laughter grows uncontrollable as Jonah repeatedly struggles to break away from his hold.

"Strip me and we'll see about that" Jonah dares with nothing but a cocky desirable grin.

Jonah laughs out a yelp when being playfully shoved down against the floor's rug.

Cyrus gives Jonah's lips a few haste kisses before listening to his request.

 

TJ arrived back at the university to a now only partially high Buffy alone in Jonah's dorm without Jerome, so they thought the perfect way to start off their fun night together was to walk to the seven eleven gas station right around the corner.

"Jonah's _so_ lucky he doesn't even have to drive over," Buffy comments as she walks along the empty road's right sidewalk with TJ by her side, who of course has to finish this hit of his vape to speak.

"I know right."

"Is that cookies and cream?" Buffy senses the flavor.

"Yes."

"I just got paid so we'll be able to get a _ton of-"_

Buffy is interrupted by no one other than a lanky white guy popping out from behind the trees in a black ski mask, face covered and ready with a gun to threaten with.

Specifically, TJ.

"Give me the vape."

" _TJ...!"_ Not moving an inch with her hands slightly raised up, Buffy looks to him begging he does as told.

"N-no _way_ man! I-I'll give you all I have in my wallet and you can buy yourself-"

" _No!_ I want _that_ vape! That one right there."

"How about we put the gun down and talk about this-"

" _GIMME IT!"_

"But this one's special-!"

" _TJ! JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO GET US KILLED THIS TIME JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS!"_ Having to take control, she yanks the vape out of TJ's hand, who only protests.

They're all grabbing for it at once with adrenaline and commotion like never before and intensity at an all time high.

The sacred vape is finally dropped to the ground but not until after the gun goes off; its defining sound sadly heard by only so many.

 

They've barely dried off but are reclothed anyway, this time in something more comfortable such as plain tee's and athletic shorts that cling to their skin. Jonah's always felt more secure in Cyrus' clothes, even if they're a bit small for his size, which isn't helping the stiffness. It's no surprise Cyrus remained a twig.

The warm shower got rid of Jonah's headache, readying him for an actual good night's sleep that'll hopefully include Cyrus.

Turns out he's already planning on it.

"Stay with me" he mutters, picking up Jonah and carrying him best he can from just outside the bathroom to the bed and tossing him in.

"Mm," Jonah giggles tiredly, on top of the blanket as Cyrus lies behind him and squirms his way under.

Jonah is brought with him and held in his arms, head against his chest and wetting the front of Cyrus' shirt with his hair.

"Your parents care I'm staying?"

"You know they don't."

They do, but in no way that's negative.

They're nothing but content when Jonah is present in their home for whatever reason, his presence not only a pleasure for Cyrus but for them as well.

"I gotta tell mine." Jonah leans over and unplugs his phone.

"Hey mama" he calls the woman more than happy to be keeping tabs on him.

"I'm staying at Cyrus' again tonight."

"Oh, okay! I was getting worried. I hadn't heard from you."

"Yeah, um, I was a little hungover..."

"A _lot_ hungover" Cyrus butts in with volume, making Jonah snicker and Mrs. Beck chortle from the other line.

"Alright sweetie. Don't make it a habit." This is the first she's hearing of this, intuition knowing she needs her guard kept up.

"I won't."

"You doing okay?" She doesn't just mean physically.

"Yeah, uh, Mom?"

"Yeah sweetie."

His mouth turns dry, Cyrus' darkening eyes still boldly watching the movements in his face.

"Um—see you tomorrow?"

Knowing that wasn't his intent, Cyrus' alerted expression slowly deflates.

"I'd love that honey."

"Me too."

"Tell Lori and David hello for me."

"Will do. I love you."

"Love _you,_ honey."

"Bye."

"Bye."

She can sense his guilt after they've both hung up.

So can Cyrus. "Would she not support your decision?" He rubs the shoulder of the boy too emotionally distraught to glance at him.

"She'd just be skeptical...Wanting me to be careful."

"I get that,"

Jonah looks at him.

"If you're second guessing-"

"I'm _not."_ Jonah affirms.

"If you were...It's okay. I can't tell you you're never going to struggle again, but you'll be okay..."

Jonah almost tears up when Cyrus touches his cheek.

"I love you." He plugs his phone back in, resuming his face against Cyrus' chest with fluttering eyes and contently letting his hands glide through his hair and down his arms.

"Love you too" Cyrus keeps it quiet, wanting Jonah to fall asleep and get a good eight hours for once.

He knows he's either sleeping too little or too much during the nights spent at school.

Just before Cyrus can even plan how to carefully get out of the bed to turn off the light without disturbing him, the pounding at the front door is more than enough to startle him awake.

" _Jesus_ what the hell is that-" he's sitting up already dripping sweat and sounding pants. "Shhh, shhh. It's okay." Cyrus gently lies him back down and stands up, turning towards him and sweetly informing how he'll be right back.

Jonah gulps watching him leave, knowing he's only walking further towards the excessive sound.

"Who could that be!" Lori asks from inside the living room with David, and Cyrus' assumption is confirmed when he breezes into the kitchen opens the door to a panicked TJ who lets himself in at once and grasps Cyrus' shoulder with his free hand.

"TJ?" He frowns, observing his sweaty figure and the heavy worry within his face.

"Cyrus," he's panting. “It's _terrible_ Cyrus." He regains a normal spoken voice.

"TJ what is it?!"

He breathes out a groan and closes the door, just as Cyrus notices the blood leaking down TJ's left elbow.

"Oh my gosh, is that blood?"

"Yes, yes it is." He now speaks boldly.

"TJ _what-"_

"Buffy and I were walking to 7/11..." He starts dramatically.

"Okay..." This lessens Cyrus' suspense.

"And then-all of a sudden-a _mugger_ in a ski mask pops out with a gun!"

Adrenaline resuming to zip through him, Cyrus lets out a gasp. "Oh my God!"

"Things were getting out of hand so fast, and,"

" _Uh-huh..."_ Cyrus needs to know more.

"And then,"

" _Yeah?"_

"He shot-"

"Oh my _God!"_

TJ holds out his damaged necessity.

"My _vape, Cyrus! He shot my vape."_ He quietly starts to cry, and now Cyrus' adrenaline is pulsing for all the wrong reasons.

He knocks the already cracked and slowly collapsing vape pen out of TJ's hand and onto the wooden floor below, utterly damaging the thing for good and sending it to different shaped and sized pieces.

" _No-!!"_

 _"Is Buffy okay or not?!"_ Cyrus shouts louder than he ever has, swearing all veins within his body are about to pop at once.

"Yeah she's in the car."

He can see why.

" _You fucking asshole!"_ Cyrus slams him up against the nearest wall and stomps on his foot.

" _Owe, Cyrus what the hell?!"_

"You had me think something _terrible happened and-"_

"Something terrible _did_ happen-!"

"Oh, _shut the fuck up TJ-!"_

"Boys, boys!" Lori comes running in and flagging down their behavior, David protectively by her side.

" _What_ is going on" he asks them, and TJ pushes a fuming Cyrus off of him and stands by his side.

"TJ and Buffy could've gotten killed and all TJ cares about is how he broke his _stupid vape-“_

"I did not 'break my vape.' It got _shot at_ and it’s _not stupid-!”_

" _What_ the hell is happening...?" Jonah had just made his way to the top of the stairs with the blanket still draped over his body, frowning at the sight and scanning the room.

"TJ's vape got shot at. Go back to sleep I'll be right up." Cyrus wants Jonah as far away from this ridiculousness as possible. His night's been hectic enough.

"Wh...What?" This is just making Jonah more exhausted.

"We're gonna leave you guys alone" David excuses, taking Lori back into the living room for everyone to have their privacy.

After they're gone-for their own good-in walks Buffy, taking an instant notice to Jonah at the top of the stairs.

"Hey..." Voice gentle, her first intention is to apologize, and mainly to him.

"Hey. You guys okay?" Jonah asks her.

"Well _I'm_ fine." She points to herself, looking over at TJ. "I had to hear _him_ bitch and whine all the way over here."

"Hey!"

As Cyrus laughs, Jonah places the blanket above the top step and chortles his way down to her.

"Got your car back." Buffy says to him.

"Thank you...And for the record, I don't care that you decided to do your own thing."

“I should've stuck around instead of doing what I did."

"As long as you're okay." That's all Buffy wants, and Jonah implies that he is. Cyrus aims a warming smile in his direction.

"So, I left my car parked at the university, do you mind?" TJ asks Jonah. They cared mainly about getting his own car back to him.

"Yeah, yeah that's fine. You need me to drop you guys off?" Jonah wonders.

"Why didn't TJ follow Buffy in his car" Cyrus puts out there.

"Because-"

" _Don't!"_ But TJ can't stop her.

"TJ was too 'traumatized' to drive and we wanted to get your car back." Buffy says directly to Jonah, who laughs in response with Cyrus.

"Nice," Cyrus comments, as TJ's rolling his eyes.

"You don't have to drop us off, thanks though. You should rest. We'll walk." Buffy offers.

"I am _not_ walking." TJ commands.

"Why, scared you'll get mugged again?" Jonah smiles, and TJ cries out " _yes!_ Exactly that!" Over the rests' laugher.

"Well Jonah shouldn't be driving again just yet and I don't wanna bother Lori and Dave so let's just walk" Buffy says to him.

"Um, I could always-"

" _No Cyrus"_ Buffy and TJ freshly answer him, and Jonah laughs lightly.

"I'd rather get mugged again than have you drive me anywhere" TJ says, to which Jonah puts his arm around Cyrus in comfort. He knows Cyrus grows insecure about his inability to legally-emphasis on legally-drive, frequently assuring him how just because someone did happen to pass their driver's test and earn their license doesn't mean they're suddenly stellar at the act.

Jonah still has to do breathing exercises every other time he gets behind the wheel, especially when he knows he'll be driving on the highway.

Hell, TJ vapes more than half the time while driving and probably should've gotten his license taken away a long time ago.

"At least he wouldn't have _one hand_ on the wheel the whole time 'cause he's _vaping._ " Jonah brings that up, and Cyrus and Buffy both grin.

"At least I can manage doing it!"

"Not for _long!_ If you get in an accident we'll know _exactly_ why." Buffy smirks, and TJ can't argue with her there.

"It's gonna feel weird not vaping while driving for a little while..." He sadly stares down at the one in terrible condition on the floor.

" _Don't_ you have more??" Cyrus doesn't see how he wouldn't.

"I _told you_ -I lost the other one and dropped the _other_ other one in boiling water."

"Oh yeah" Jonah recalls, while Buffy rolls her eyes in thought of both the events she had the dishonor of being there in person for.

"'Kay well I'm gonna go." She suddenly has no more time for this.

“Bye guys." First she hugs Jonah, peacefully and with content, apologizing once more about her actions this time as a mutter into his shoulder.

"Buffy. We're cool." He playfully pushes her back, returning her grin and watching as she goes to Cyrus.

"See ya." He brings her in for a hug not as long but just as meaningful.

"Where's my hug?" TJ asks which only hastens her way to the door, gasping and watching somberly when she purposely steps on the vape. In no way could any more damage have been done to the vape that is, alas, already long gone.

"Wait up!" He yells once she's walked out the door, Cyrus and Jonah both snickering.

"Better hurry up if you don't wanna get mugged again all by yourself," Jonah smirks. They expect him to go with her. In no way do either of them want Buffy walking throughout the night alone.

In deep thought about everything that's led up to this moment, TJ huffs.

More than anything right now he's scared of the dark. Also having something else so valuable to him being swiped away in the blink of an eye. Which in his case would be another vape.

"Okay. I'm going in." He stares boldly at the door, almost like he expects it to bust down from the mind control he wishes he had.

He turns back to them with a final thought. "Do you guys think I should get a juul instead?"

They hound him to leave, to which he finally does.

He wasn't expecting for Buffy to be waiting on him, but there she professionally stands on the lawn with crossed arms and a satisfied smirk.

"Let's go, dumbass."

On their way to the sidewalk, he next asks for her opinion on the same idea.

"You have a safety school, right? _Please_ say you have a safety school."

He cackles.

Back inside, Cyrus turns towards Jonah in hesitant hopes of reproaching uneasy territory.

"You didn't tell them?" He's gladly right about why Jonah wouldn't.

"It's just—not their time to know yet."

"Yeah, I get that." Cyrus walks over and pokes at Jonah's stubble. The boy chuckles.

"N- _not_ that I would keep it a secret when it _does_...Happen..." He needs to clarify that.

"Oh I know" Cyrus assures, as Lori slowly enters the room with no intent to intrude.

"Everything okay?" Her mind can't help but jump to a variety of places.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Cyrus answers for Jonah, who's already shrinking down in potential guilt.

"Um..." He receives a nod from Jonah.

"Jonah's thinking about trying medication." He tells her, just as Dave comes walking next to his wife.

"Oh! Well that's good news, right?" She thinks positively.

"He's paranoid that he could become overly reliant." That’s Cyrus’ fancy way of saying ‘addicted,’ and he squeezes Jonah's hand while answering.

Lori and Dave are no psychiatrists, but with how long they've both been in the business of mental care they certainly know more than many.

"We understand." Dave speaks up, catching Jonah's attention.

"But there's so many brands out there that treat what you have, and they all work differently depending on the person."

Cyrus honestly felt that the earlier they know about this the better, so they could formally chime in with knowledgeable advice exactly like this.

"I know, but, what if I become addicted to them? It's in my genes..." That's Jonah's main worry.

"It's not a complete risk. Discuss it with your parents. What your Mom went through doesn't guarantee the same will happen to you. Genes are complex, honey. I encourage you tell your parents before making any further decisions."

"I will...Thanks guys..." With his astonished smile, Jonah is on the verge of tears with the overwhelming amount of support he's been receiving. Thanks to Dave and Lori it's practically like he has two sets of parents. It would be three if Cyrus' Mom and her husband bothered to get involved.

"Anytime. We know plenty of people in the field for you to seek out." Dave offers.

"Thank you _so_ much. Oh, and also-do you guys have any r-recommend therapists?" He doesn't understand how he's growing embarrassed by the concept of this when he's literally talking to two right now.

"N-not that I need specifics right now." He adds on.

"There's plenty of good ones in my building who I know specify for young adults. That is if you'd be comfortable going there." Lori can understand if Jonah doesn't want his boyfriend's two parent therapists being anywhere involved with his own treatment.

"Oh, no, that'd be okay. I-I'll look more into it tomorrow."

"Of course" David supports. "You're seeking out options Jonah. We're proud of you."

" _I_ am too." Cyrus puts his arms around Jonah's waist and rests his cheek against him lightly. Just because of this Jonah's mind is euphoric, however his brain still exhausted and triggering a yawn.

He wants to fall into a deep asleep with the knowledge of Cyrus contently wrapped up in him and this time no...ridiculous...interruptions.

Cyrus is lightly stroking his finger's through Jonah's hair in response to his state when Lori says they should head up, and tightly hugs them both. Dave does the same, his arm wrapped around his wife as they boldly watch the boys' make their way back up. Jonah remembers the blanket and drags it with him.

"They'll be more than okay." Dave senses her worry and plants a kiss to her head.

He's not saying it out of false hope.

Jonah falls into a deep sleep almost immediately, where as tonight Cyrus is the one remaining awake from anxiety, this time being much more than only secondhand.

Eventually he's able to finish silently crying himself to sleep, nowhere other than in Jonah's arms, where until his mind shuts off and his body powers down, he spends reflecting astoundingly on as many things as he can remember to fit into his overdriven mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List one:  
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/amp  
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 71.  
> 46.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 3.  
> 17.  
> 48.
> 
> List two:  
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 33.  
> 71.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 53.  
> 79.
> 
> You can comment whichever remaining prompts from either list down below, or inbox them to my Tumblr: 
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah


	4. Taking Care:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so like I think I literally only used one prompt in this chapter but that’s only cos all the rest work better with the next chapters ahead. Which, if you know what prompts they are, you know there’s major angst and shenanigans ahead <3  
> Also Andi makes an appearance cos bitch she’s the star of the show

Cyrus had been having this debate with himself before he even woke up the next morning. He honestly still doesn't know whose anxiety he'd like to see decreased more. His or Jonah's. Probably Jonah's, okay yes Jonah's. However he himself has been struggling with the pace of things; more than he'd like to admit, and worst of all during his time of sleep which he thought would be a time to tune things out. The moment his body completely shut down his mind unfortunately started back up, and was locked down by his unhealthily increased notions that forced him from awakening. The worst part is that it was all lucid.

He was psychologically and emotionally awake all too well, but physically still asleep. Like anesthesia awareness but more so being poked and prodded in only his brain and not his body.

At this point he still wonders if that second scenario would have been any better than the first. Possibly. With all that was going on his mind, maybe even probably.

So far he's only found himself calmed down by what appears to be the long overdue sight of Jonah sleeping peacefully. Cyrus declares it's better him than himself.

Just the thought of knowing Jonah's not appearing to be in a toxic state of mind is what's suddenly adjusting Cyrus' relief. He settles his mind by lightly stroking Jonah's hairline, studying the plainly sleeping expression of his he couldn't be studying any more intensely. It's hard to force his eyes away.

What he doesn't intend for is Jonah to wake up, and goes into an automatic mental panic when he sees him adjusting towards him. He doesn't want to be cause of Jonah waking up right into a state of anxiety like yesterday. Except this time it would be his fault. Maybe it was his fault yesterday too. That's ridiculous, though, right? Perhaps it's Cyrus the one that’s waking up to his own peril.

It relieves him to know Jonah can't say the same for himself.

"Morning," There he lies with those tired eyes and that cute little smirk on his face.

"Hey..." Cyrus leans over and rubs down his arm. "Go back to sleep." Knowing he's still tired, he advises him with a quick touch of his nose against Jonah's and a kiss planted by his lips.

Jonah giggles in response, eyes already falling back closed.

"You feel okay...?" Either Jonah's mind is really in a currently okay state or the exhaustion is blocking out his anxiousness. Yet that's never stopped him before. The feeling is ruthless. Except not right now it's not. Cyrus couldn't feel more appreciative. Cyrus' thoughts about Jonah continuing to worry are overlapping into personal anxiety of his own.

Meanwhile Jonah's simply ignoring the fact that the universe gave him a free pass for right now. If he acknowledges it he'll immediately regret it.

Something that Cyrus is currently doing a bit too much of.

"Yeah, actually." Jonah smiles at him. "Must be deliriousness from the exhaustion."

Cyrus' expression falls intensely flat.

"I'm kidding," Jonah smirks, and Cyrus laughs nervously.

"You okay?" Jonah leans forward and takes both his hands. "You seem more anxious than me this morning. And that's saying a lot." He lightly laughs it off.

"I-I dunno, I'm just—thinking about you." And by thinking Cyrus means worrying.

"You think about me too much. Think about yourself for once." Jonah's poke to Cyrus' cheek admittedly gets a giggle out of him.

"Hmm...You know how much you're on my mind, right?" One of Cyrus' favorite things to do is playfully pin Jonah down on the bed and climb on top of him. Jonah's smitten reaction is worth it every single time. The way his eyes sparkle. How red his face becomes. It always feels like the first time, and neither of them can ever tell whose grin is bigger and stupider. Cyrus eagerly plans to put an end to Jonah's fluttered laugher by kissing the smile off his face.

They only last two seconds before Cyrus climbs off of him to this time get them both gum. Lots of gum.

"You know we could just brush our teeth. Like normal people.” Jonah sits up to do so as Cyrus is returning over, but is pushed back down with forceful intent.

" _Nah,"_ Cyrus' voice is quivering because of how much he's laughing, and sticks the first piece of gum in Jonah's mouth after sitting him up.

"Wanna chew it for me too?"

Cyrus had just began to chew on his own piece, which he just about chokes on thanks to his immense amount of laughter. This only causes Jonah to do the same.

They chew fast and swallow hard so they can get to helping one another wake up with halfway decent breath. Back on top of him and a few too many kisses later, Cyrus breaks apart their lips to nuzzle against the side of Jonah's neck.

"You know I haven't even checked my phone yet because of you?" His voice sends a vibration against Jonah's skin, and the laugh he yells out leaves Cyrus savoring his admiration.

"You might wanna do that before you get too caught up in me" Jonah suggests, havingCyrus laugh as he moves back and picks the charging device off the floor where it had been left. “Too late,” he comments.

Blushing profoundly, Jonah lays himself down just before Cyrus reads his text from Andi, and then another that's from TJ which says he's 'sorry if he was being a bit over dramatic last night.'

"Andi wants to know if we'll meet her for breakfast at The Spoon.” He looks to Jonah whose plan to fall into an anxious sleep is already in motion. "Mm, when..." He doesn't want to move, let alone right now think about interacting with other people.

" _Now,_ stupid. Now is breakfast time." Assuming the exhaustion simply caught up with him, Cyrus lowers his face down above Jonah's left ear where he blows in a tiny whiff of hot hair.

He receives a tainted giggle and weak smile. Jonah's almost scared to look at him. His whirlwind of a reality just rejoined his side which means for him sleep mode is what's best. Until of course sleep just becomes code for 'neglect all your problems.'

Usually happens around the two hour mark when he’s already overly aware of how bad it’s getting.

"You okay?" Cyrus sits up and runs a hand through Jonah's hair.

"Mmm..."

This red flag turns Cyrus' face red, only for all the color to drain instantly, much unlike his concern.

"Jonah what happened."

As if he even has to ask.

"I'm sorry, Cyrus." His speech is muffled against the comforter.

" _Hey._ " He whispers to him, rubbing down his back and leaving kisses behind his neck. "Don't gotta be..." He finds his hand and gives it a fresh squeeze. "We're gonna get you to the doctor, got that?" He wants to make sure Jonah still plans on going through with it.

"I'm _so nervous_ to call..." Jonah barely shifts himself upwards to look at him.

"Just to make an appointment?"

"Well I'd have to explain _why_ I want to go in, right?" Jonah's heart is again dropping at the thought. It's more unsettling every time. It's like the only things that can help his emotions about medication is medication.

Yet he knows it's not a miracle worker. It will only fix so much. And part of him doesn't want to stick around to watch the positive results fizzle out or never appear to begin with. Or worst of all-bring out of him the addict he always knew was more than capable of existing.

“I wouldn't think so..." Cyrus begins to think. "How 'bout I be there with you. Or—go with you, at least."

"Could you?" Jonah takes his hands. Just hearing that offer makes him want to burst into relieved tears.

"Of course..." Cyrus brushes back a strand of Jonah's hair. "I can call your Mom for you. Explain to her everything."

"Oh, no no." Jonah is so overwhelmed with how good Cyrus is being to him that he's laughing nervously. "Th-that's something I should do myself. She's understanding. Um, are you gonna go with Andi...?" He doesn't want to hold him back from having a life outside of him. He should be allowed to separate himself for a reasonable amount of time. Jonah wishes he could do the same for himself. Maybe if the medication works well enough such a thing could be possible. However he's not counting on it.

"Not if-"

"Cyrus you're _going. Okay?_ " Jonah laughs spitefully. " _Please._ Go enjoy yourself. I'll be okay here." He releases their hands.

"And you're sure you don't want to join?"

Jonah's answer is clear within his dimming eyes. His heart's begun to rattle again.

"Hey. It's okay," Cyrus sees the terror all across his face. "Stay here. Relax. Enjoy yourself, okay? My parents are downstairs. They love you. They'll make you something."

"Th-they don't need to-"

"Well you should eat something either way." Cyrus brings Jonah over and places a hard kiss to his left temple.

Jonah grins. Cyrus retrieves his phone and texts Andi that it'll just be him meeting her, something she's a bit bummed about but knows is better than nothing. She hasn't seen Jonah in almost two weeks with how much their schedules have begun to differ.

"She wants me to meet her there now; she has to be back by eleven, that okay...?" Cyrus paraphrases her response to him, wanting to make sure he'll be okay if right about now is when he leaves.

"Yeah Cy' go," Jonah's encouraging it. "Brush your teeth first." He smirks.

"Only if you promise to when I'm gone." Cyrus smiles on his way backing up into the bathroom, smoothly pointing at him and almost tripping over himself in the doorway.

Jonah chortles loudly. "Cyrus. Watch yourself." He instructs lightheartedly, laughing more at the fact that Cyrus had just spun around and simply walked in like it in no way happened.

"Don't have too much fun without me..." Cyrus says to Jonah suggestively after he's changed and brushed his teeth, standing over a contently resting Jonah and grinning into an anticipated kiss.

Jonah can only cooperate so much with the amount of giggling he's doing. "What?" Cyrus pretends to be oblivious in response to the sight of Jonah now practically bending back laughing, grinning proudly and continuing to do so into the few back to back kisses Jonah gives him.

"Tell Andi I'm sorry and that I'll see her soon." Jonah promises with no remorse. He doesn't want to skip out on her like this, but neither does he feel she deserves to see him like this. Cyrus might be able to perk him up during their time alone together but the feeling grows tainted beyond closed doors.

He's going to have to face that. Starting with no earlier than tonight, when he has return to school for class in the morning.

It depresses him, it really does.

Cyrus responds with a kiss to his cheek. " _Rest._ I won't be long. And I'm bringing you back something." He grabs his phone and turns his back with a smirk.

"No you're not!"

Cyrus laughs his way to the door. Jonah observes him open it and step into the doorway, only to face his direction and send over a wink.

"Watch me."

He leaves fully and smugly aware of what that does to Jonah, who's now red all over and giggling aimlessly, as well aware of just how insanely much bliss and excited nerves Cyrus so simply manages to fill him with.

The best part is that he loves returning the favor just as much.

 

The moment that jingling bell sounds after Cyrus has walked inside, Andi pleasantly looks over from the booth she's been eagerly anticipating his arrival.

" _Hey!_ " She beams, observing his smile as he walks over and slides in across from her.

"Hey,"

While he is truly happy to see her, he's still a bit hesitant to explain how things have been going.

"You ready for that lab tomorrow?" He's been meaning to bring up to her.

"Ugh, _hardly._ Bowers has me in a headlock."

"Ugh, I _know."_ Cyrus can say the same for himself. "Did you order the baby taters?"

"Does TJ vape?"

They grin.

"He told me about the 'incident' last night."

"Jonah getting drunk?" Cyrus figures.

"No, his vape getting shot."

Cyrus' eyes might as well be rolling all the way back into his head.

Andi cackles. "He _did_ mention that Jonah happened to be hungover during that time, but said to ask _you_ about that.”

Of course he did.

"How is Jonah...? Does he still not feel well?" Cyrus is hesitant to tell and Andi's hesitant to know.

"Um...His hangover's gone. But...He only got drunk because he was so emotional about things. I wasn't being the biggest help..."

"But you guys are okay, right?"

"Yeah, yeah yeah. We're good..." Cyrus smiles weakly. "It's just...Things have been really hard on him."

Andi nods with a tender expression.

"We haven't told Buffy and TJ yet, but, he just might try medication..." Cyrus knows she won't get the word around when she’s aware it’s personal.

"Oh, well, that's good right? I mean I can still understand the concerns. My Zoloft didn't work for months. Then it stopped working and we had to figure out the best dosage. It can be frustrating. Tell him he can always talk to me."

"Of course. And, it's not just the meds possibly not working. He doesn't want to become...Addicted. Like his Mom was..." He keeps his voice lowered.

"Well he could always talk to someone about that, right?" She's hoping.

"Yeah, that's something else he's looking into. Which would be really good for him. He still hasn't really adjusted to school. He's still at my place. He was too anxious to see anyone."

"Aw,"

Andi knows where Jonah's been and she hates to know it's the direction he's unwillingly continuing in.

"Do you think he won't go back to school tonight?"

"I think I should go with him." Cyrus admits. "Stay over and get to school from there. I'm gonna have to get TJ or Buffy to get me. I'll feel bad."

"Yeah, I know. I'd get you, but-"

"But neither of us drive?" Cyrus finishes with a grin, to which they both snicker.

It's their most favorite thing to have in common.

"He have class Monday morning's?" She's forgotten certain chunks of his schedule.

"Yeah his first one is an hour after ours. I don't want to leave without him knowing but I don't want to wake him up if he wants the extra sleep."

He looks off to the side just to think about this, and Andi observes in amazement.

"So, you guys, you're doing okay? Buffy said she talked to him yesterday." She approaches lightly.

"Yeah, uh, I lost my patience with him that morning. I shouldn't have. I felt terrible for saying it and he felt terrible for leaving..."

"Did he really go and get drunk?"

He scoffs. "Yeah. _That_ was something." He can't help but grin in thought, and Andi laughs.

"Nice dude."

She resumes to study Cyrus, who is again looking off in thought, but this time more immensely.

"Whatcha thinking?"

"Mm, I dunno." But he does, and he looks to her.

"Maybe Jonah isn't the only one that should start talking to someone. I think I should too..." He admits.

" _Do it,_ " she encourages, brows raised and shoulders shrugging. "Can't hurt."

Hell, as far as she's concerned _all of them_ should have been enrolled in therapy by now.

"I mean, I'd just really like to know how I could be handling this better. Not just for you guys, but for myself."

"It's not _always_ gonna be this constant. Once Jonah's talking to someone and is on a helpful medication things will get easier. School will be easier to manage. Has he been able to keep up?"

"The anxiety turns him into a perfectionist. I haven't asked him if he has stuff due tomorrow because I don't want him overthinking it. But I hope he's not ignoring it either."

Fortunately enough for the both of them, back at his house Jonah is shutting off the rest of his mind to get his online reading done for tomorrow morning's class. He likes when his assignments consist strictly of reading. Simply reading what he's assigned is never something he has to overthink, like writing or memorization.

"We agreed he should tell his Mom so she can make the appointments for him."

"She's probably itching to see him."

"Yeah I bet..."

"So he's with your parents right now?"

"I have no idea what he's doing but I sure hope it's something stress reducing.”

"I'll drink to that," she agrees.

This leaves Cyrus glowing, the two of them now grinning to each other ear to ear.

After their giddiness dies down, she asks if he's talked to TJ.

"Not since he left last night. He texted me I still don't know if I should, yet." Cyrus chuckles to himself. Andi laughs.

"Buffy told me he told her he's trying to cut down on vaping." She reveals, and Cyrus suddenly feels as if physical time has slowed down.

It really is a brave new world.

 

Speaking of Jonah needing to talk to his mother, he decides to spend his spontaneous break from reading doing just that; heart dropping into his stomach simply being reminded of what they'll be discussing. He's not going to get anywhere if this conversation doesn't happen. At least that's what the anxiety's telling him. See? God _dammit._

So deep in worry, he just about gasps when unexpectedly hearing her pick up.

"Hello?" She sounds so chipper. He's going to ruin her mood.

"Hey Mom, uh..."

"You still at Cyrus'?"

"Yeah, uh, he met Andi for breakfast."

"Oh, why didn't you tag along?" Though her intuition is already telling her why.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to about...Mom...uh..." He won't be able to finish if he doesn't keep himself together. It's like he's going into shock, too frozen to even clear his throat he feels just might be closing up.

"Is it the anxiety, honey?"

"I think I need medication..." The last things he wants to do is burst into tears during this call.

"Okay! Okay, honey. We'll get you some..."She's already encouraging it.

"What if it's a waste of time, though. O-or my genes-"

"It's worth a _try,_ baby. I'll make an appointment with a psychiatrist, okay?"

"W-why can't I see Lemaster?" He speaks of the pedestrian he's more than fond of, and has two years left with tops. "She's the one that always suggested-"

"Okay, okay. I understand. She loves you. I just want you to know your options."

"Okay..." He turns apologetic. "I'm sorry."

"There's _nothing_ to be sorry for. Everything is going to be okay. I'll call right now unless you want me staying on the phone with you."

"R-really...?" Jonah's smile is hesitant but relieved.

"I'll do my best for an appointment early this week. That work?"

"I-I'll send you my schedule..." He's almost in awe. She's taking it so steadily. Not that he didn't expect for her to. She just makes it feel so...Simple. Something that Jonah deserves.

Simplicity.

"You got it, honey. I love you _so_ much. No matter what happens to either of us."

 _That's_ certainly striking Jonah in the way  he knows it probably shouldn't be. Not that  he can help it.

"W-what...?"

"Oh, I'm only saying. No matter what we go through. You're my son." She clears up.

"Oh. Y-yeah." Jonah knew he was overthinking. "I love you too, Mom."

Speaking of people he loves, "could Cyrus come? If he can?" He's hopeful.

"Yes, of course. Tell him I miss him. Actually, how about I see you two when he gets back?" She puts out there, and Jonah is in no way opposed.

"Okay...! Maybe lunch?" He knows baby taters for breakfast aren't exactly filling.

"Sounds perfect. Invite Lori and David, if you can."

"I think they're leaving soon, but I'll see." He hasn't even asked Cyrus yet if he would be up for it. As long as he gets to see her.

"No worries. See you soon? You need me to stay on with you?"

"I'm good. I'm _really_ good, right now." Jonah's close to ecstatic about this. "So I'll see you soon?"

"You got it. Try to talk to your father today too, okay?"

"Will do. Bye. Love you."

"Love you."

He hangs up just as Lori comes approaching into the open doorway.

"That your Mom?" She smiles.

"Yeah." Jonah looks up and is happy to see her.

"Sh-She's gonna get me to my doctor. To talk about medicine." He stands up with a glowing smile.

"Sweetie that's _great._ " She watches him walk over and returns his hug.

"Sorry. I haven't really gotten ready yet" he excuses, gently pulling away in embarrassment.

"Oh, please, you look fine. Come downstairs Dave will fix you something before he heads to work."

"Oh, um..."

He knows to shut up and just take the gesture.

 

Once Cyrus had informed him he would be making his way back, Jonah used him having to get ready as an excuse to be back upstairs to go forward with the idea of his he’s more than eager to finalize.

Before that Dave had already cooked pancakes, which Jonah was too nice to say no to.

He now walks back downstairs in more of Cyrus' clothes and with brushed teeth, making his way to Lori at the sink and offering help with the dishes.

"Oh, no, thank you though." She appreciates the offer. Jonah's kindness has always been the one thing that's stood out about him. Not his anxiety, like he thinks, that isn't even all that noticeable on the surface.

"So Jonah, do you want us to recommend your mother some psychiatrists for you for future notice?" David brings up, standing to the far left counter top and preparing his lunch.

Jonah was nothing but happy to further discuss them what he had discussed with his mother.

"That would be great, thank you." He knows his pediatrician isn't always going to be the one to go to regarding medication. Especially if it ends up working.

"Oh, you know a place you and Cyrus could go with her to?"

He had also mentioned the anticipated lunch, which neither her or Dave can make time to join.

"It's this lovely Japanese place Dave and I had the other night. What was that place called?" She looks over for assistance.

Cyrus walks in from the garage at the perfect timing, holding a to go coffee and one hand and a to go smoothie in the other.

"Hey, there he is," Lori beams, to which Cyrus brightens and hands her the coffee she asked for.

"There you go."

"Thank you, sweetie."

He turns to Jonah with a cheeky smile, placing the smoothie in his hand.

Jonah chortles and shakes his head.

"It's mango." Cyrus knows that's his usual.

"I figured. Thank you very much." Jonah grins, causing him to laugh.

"See Jonah, you don't even have to ask like I do." Lori comments, causing him to giggle over at Cyrus who's close to cackling. Lunch now packed, Dave takes his bag and walks up next to her.

"Don't worry Lor', tomorrow I'll get you some without you even asking."

"Hmm, until you forget."

He kisses her cheek as the boys quietly laugh in their direction.

"Alright. I have to be leaving. See you boys." He pats both their shoulders, and Jonah thanks him once again. Cyrus can't help smiling and peeking over.

After Dave makes his exit, it's Jonah's turn to break out his sly smile.

"Come upstairs I want to show you something." He just might be more psyched than Cyrus when Cyrus finds out.

"What..."  He’s playfully hesitant, and Lori chuckles, and Jonah only laughs and pulls an excitedly yet nervously giggling Cyrus up the staircase. He holds the styrofoam cup tucked against his quadrant.

"Close your eyes."

"Why-okay fine." Now standing in the hallway with Jonah's hands on his shoulders, Cyrus knows to oblige rather than question.

Jonah closes the bedroom door after leading him inside, and he can already sense what's on Cyrus' mind.

To be a tease he stands him in front of the bed, something Cyrus senses and is quickly growing impatient for, giggling immensely when Jonah tightens the grip on his shoulders and doesn't do anything.

He turns him away towards the bathroom, and Cyrus frowns in confusion. "Wha-?"

Jonah guffaws and leads him inside.

" _Jonah what are you showing me in the bathroom."_

He didn't think it was possible to laugh harder, and Cyrus grins at the sound.

"J-just open your eyes."

He obeys, and the overjoyed gasp he sounds couldn't be any cuter.

" _Yeah! Bubbles!"_ He radiates in response to the bath Jonah drew them that almost overflows with bubbles.

Laughing at such a response, Jonah happily and gladly observes Cyrus practically throwing off his clothes and almost tripping over himself climbing inside.

"Okay," Jonah takes his drink and walks through the doorway. "I'm gonna go drink this. You have fun." He smirks over and jokingly starts shutting the door.

" _Jonah get in here!"_

He cackles and steps back, setting down the drink after and beginning to undress as planned.

"Ya know if you really are _that_ superstitious you can shower off before joining me." Cyrus kids around, and at one another they laugh.

"Funny."

After closing the door, Jonah steps out of his boxers and gently steps into the tub, sitting across from Cyrus while happily adapting to the change of body temperature.

He can't ignore the big, giddy, shining smile Cyrus is currently giving him.

"Is this okay?" He still checks.

"You drawing us both a bath..." Cyrus starts out humorously.

"Pretty sure it's more than okay."

They again laugh cheerfully, and Jonah shifts closer to kiss his shoulder.

Cyrus restfully leans back and hums an exhale from the intimate harmony they share.

"How's Andi." Jonah takes his hand, just about speaking into Cyrus' ear and giving him goosebumps. "I miss her so much. I feel terrible-"

"Jonah _don't..."_ Cyrus pleads to him. "She loves you. She understands."

The only thing that isn't sending Jonah into a true state of guilt is the comfort that comes with the bath and Cyrus being right here with him. He exhales deeply.

"You were right, you know. This _is_ pretty relaxing." Jonah admits.

“See, what’d I tell ya?”

Cyrus brings him in for a kiss in the midst of their giggles, and one turns into a good few.

"You brush your teeth?" Cyrus smiles him, tasting the mint in his breath.

"Yeah, you have baby taters for breakfast?" Jonah reconnects their noses, and Cyrus' giggle is a definite yes.

"Maybe."

"'Maybe'" Jonah mocks, giving his lips another kiss and moving down to what's left of his torso not covered by bubbles or water. 

Again Cyrus leans back in peace, this time humming slightly.

"Talked to my Mom." Jonah brings up, lifting up his head and making direct eye contact. "She wants to have lunch with me. Us, actually. But it's totally up to you if you want to join."

"Did you tell her about...?"

"Yeah. She's uh, calling my doctor. Trying to get an appointment in for one of the next few days." He can't help but grin at the thought.

"Jonah that's _great._ " He’s just as relieved, if not more.

"I know." He laughs breathlessly. "So, you don't have to come if you don't want, but she invited us to lunch.” This dials down his good mood, slumping his shoulders and looking down. "I didn't go see Andi, so if-“

"Jonah _hey._ " Knowing to whisper, Cyrus grabs his face and keeps bold eye contact; something Jonah shamefully struggles to return.

"It's all good. You're gonna see her again. She _knew_ you didn't mean anything against her."

He has himself exhale for a more than needed state of calmness. Just once he'd like to have a nice time without being interrupted by these nagging worries that come up with excuses to exist.

"I'm sorry..." He again feels the need to apologize.

"Don't gotta be. I'd love to join you and your Mom unless you'd like your privacy." Cyrus changes the topic.

"Could you be there with me? There might be something she's not telling me. I think she doesn’t want to stress me out more since she knows I’m needing help. Jonah explains.

"What wouldn't she be telling you?"

"Maybe she's finally leaving my Dad," he puts out there.

Christian Beck was always a better father than a husband. Jonah would say they're close. He knows how to take care of him. Something he's lost touch with is keeping patience with his wife. For years they've been destined to split apart, and Jonah's known it. There are kids out there that don't want their parents separating even when they know it’s what’s best, but for Jonah it's something he's always wanted.

He used to think that they were only sticking it out because he was still living with them full time.

But now Jonah's either staying at his dorm or with a peer-like he wants to be home when both of them are around to just piss each other off-and the two are still putting up with the relationship they've lost all hope in.

He's waiting. He figures that without him there they've only gotten more miserable and unable to handle each other.

It was no picnic when Jonah was there to see it, and now he can only imagine what it's like now that he's _not_ around.

He's not expecting a full fledged divorce with courtroom showdowns, but dammit he's at least expecting _someone_ to move out. It's been long enough, and no fun for anyone involved.

Something that Cyrus has always been aware of.

"You think?"

"I _hope."_

Seeing that look of exhaustion on his face, Cyrus brushes a finger down Jonah's cheek. "I know what this is like."

"Yeah but at least your parents were _brave enough_ to _face it_ " Jonah laughs bitterly.

"That's because of how _badly_ they wanted to get rid of each other. You think they talk?" Cyrus' brow arches.

"No, but they're not in denial about how much they've let things self destruct.”

"I don't think your parents are in denial. I think they're just...Scared. To actually take that step."

"Because getting divorced isn't exactly cheap?" Jonah smiles at his attempted humor.

"That, _and_ they don't want to let you down." Cyrus smirks.

Jonah scoffs. "They _know I know._ They do know I know, right? They _should_ with all the bitching they do about each other to me."

They've been submitting him to that since he was young.

It never took long for one of them to be driving him in the car and suddenly they're stubbornly venting to their son about what they should probably be discussing with a therapist.

Not that they ever meant for Jonah to take sides.

He loves each of them and needs both of them for him to be able to move forward.

For Cyrus, it's a different story.

While he may have a good relationship with his father, he surely can't say the same for the mother of his that walked out on them. Harriet claims that Dave snatched Cyrus from her and left, when in reality she was the one that took Cyrus from him.

At that time she had main custody, and Cyrus couldn't have been more discomforted by his home life.

Harriet meeting the man she would go on to marry shortly after the divorce was final-the man who's still no better than she is-was the beginning of the end for Cyrus, and when Lori came into the picture, she was already a better mother to Cyrus than his real one ever was, the one who favored her husband's children over her own son.

Dave finally stood his ground and took her to court, where he won over his ex wife's custody, and she was given the freedom to keep Cyrus in her life.

Cyrus was going to put on a brave face and at least see her on a basis he felt was good enough, but to this day her grudge still remains, and contact is at a bare minimum.

As far as Cyrus is concerned, she barely acknowledges his existence.

Jonah's only met her a few times over the past six years, but from what he can tell she's not very fond of him. Or anyone else in Cyrus' life, for that matter.

While Jonah's parents may have given up on each other a long time ago, never in a million years would either of them give up on him.

To this day he still can't believe that this is something Cyrus had to be apart of.

"It's a matter of time." Cyrus predicts, and Jonah's suddenly more than guilty for continuously discussing his own life.

"What about you. What's on your mind." He wants to know.

"Well, I was _thinking..._ " Cyrus starts out cautiously.

"Are you okay with going back to school tonight?"

"How are _you_ doing with school? C'mon Cyrus I'm not the only one in this bathtub." Using laughter as a defense mechanism, Jonah didn't think Cyrus would bring the subject back around to him. Not only does it make him feel guilty, but he's tired of it.

How exactly is he supposed to correctly participate in therapy if he _hates_ talking about himself?

"Let me go with you." Cyrus knows Jonah can't be alone at a time like this. Jerome is usually out late when he has no early morning classes.

"Oh, uh..." Jonah is in no way refusing his company, but neither wants to cause any complications.

"I'd love that, but are you _sure?_ You start earlier than me."

"Buffy can come get me. I wouldn't even have to wake you up."

"Feel free to. I'm gonna need it." Jonah's smile expands, and Cyrus laughs his way into their next kiss.

"Mm." In the middle of sharing a few more, Cyrus takes notice of the pleasant scent he can't remember previously sensing.

"You smell good."

"I used lavender bubble bath."

" _God,_ I love you."

He climbs onto him with such force that  water is sent splashing down to the floor.

They don't notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List one:  
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/amp  
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 71.  
> 46.  
> 59\. 
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 17.  
> 48.  
> 49.  
> 82.
> 
> List two:  
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 33.  
> 71.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 18.  
> 19.  
> 21.  
> 24.  
> 53.  
> 72.  
> 79.  
> 112.  
> 113.
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah


	5. Side by Side:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two meet Jonah’s Mom for lunch, that ends with Jonah fearing the next course of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy I’m back. I’ve neglected this cos of my 3 part fic about jyrus called charmed which is really fluffy and flirty and if you like jock Cyrus maybe it’ll suit your interest :)  
> ANYWAYS, I still have a bunch of dialogue prompts that I PLAN to use, but unfortunately have not made it in this chapter. But the next chapter demands lots of them be used, so if it’s something you really care about, I hope this chapter will still do something for ya.

Not only was the water growing cold and their skin turning turning more wrinkled, since neither of them had their phones on them, they decided to drain the water and confirm what will and won't be happening with Jonah's mother.

Cyrus slipped on the water left on the floor and just about cracked his head open on the side of the tub, which only delayed them more with how sufficiently they wiped up the mess to make sure there weren't anymore scares.

Then there was getting dressed, confirming with her that they will in fact be meeting within the next thirty minutes, actually compromising on a place, and painfully waiting for Cyrus to decide on a new shirt he deems as 'fancier.'

"This one looks better, right?"

"Cyrus, it's Chilli's. Not a church sermon."

They're still standing in Cyrus' bedroom, a place that should have left behind behind more than ten minutes ago, where Jonah had no choice but to pace up down and about to cope with his boyfriend's contemplation over a piece of clothing.

"I _know,_ I just want to be on the safe side."

"You already _are._ Since when have you ever had to impress my _Mom._ If anything _she's_ the one wanting to impress _you."_ He smirks.

Cyrus is so touched by that statement that he honestly doesn't want to believe it.

"She gave me you. That's already impressive enough." Cyrus attempts to be witty with another one his stupid smirks that Jonah will never admit to swooning over, only scoffing at him and patting his chest. 

He can tell Jonah's trying to withhold his smile, getting it out of him with just one admirable glance and cracking up at his burst of smitten giggles.

"Let's go." Jonah regains his train of thought after the moment passes, hoping to appear as breezy as can be while still beaming on the inside.

Five years into their relationship, and Jonah can't help but sometimes feel like he's still madly crushing on him.

His attraction towards Cyrus has matured with him, but with certain instances he's reminded of just how innocent that love once was and at times still is. Neither of them ever want the love that they share to become unfinished.

"We were supposed to leave over ten minutes ago. We're gonna be late."

"You okay with driving?" Cyrus checks, and Jonah is remembering to second guess yet another thing he and his anxiety should be used to by now.

"Yeah..." He mindlessly shrugs, rushing onto his phone to double check the directions for anything alarming. Almost every time there's something he doesn't want to face.

"You want me to drive?"

Jonah is the only person that doesn't get irritable with Cyrus when he asks that.

"You wanna get _caught?"_ Jonah asks back in a similar hopeful tone, and Cyrus laughs out his plea. "Please! I _almost_ have my permit; it's like twenty minutes! _Please!"_

"I trust you. It's other people I don't trust." Jonah's told him this from the start.

"Why do you think I've been avoiding the main roads this entire time?"

Jonah takes Cyrus into the hall with his arm tucked around him, ending the contact when back in the kitchen and hearing him announce their departure to Lori.

"We're meeting Julia at Chilli's."

"Tell her hello." She's finishing wiping down the countertops. "I have to complete a few things before going in. It's gonna be a late on tonight."

"I'm gonna stay on campus with Jonah tonight so I'll see you after school tomorrow?" Cyrus almost forgot to mention the biggest detail.

"Does your father know this?"

"He will when I tell him," Cyrus smiles cheekily, and he's scoffed at by the both of them.

"Okay. Tell me if you need a ride in the morning." Lori offers to him.

"I can always just take you" Jonah offers next, and Cyrus affirms how he'll just call TJ.

"You can't make them drive you around forever," Lori insists just as Cyrus and Jonah are on their way out the door.

"Yes I can!" He yells just before the door completes closing. The boys grin their way over to Jonah's street parked car as Lori remains inside shaking her head; Jonah opening the front passenger door and snatching the keys to withhold Cyrus' chance.

" _This_ way." Jonah smiles and cockily stares him down playfully standing on the driver's side, closing the door for him when he obediently sits on the correct side before climbing in where he belongs.

"You can drive us through the neighborhood," Jonah suggests to him, wanting to let him do _something._

"It's too late. Just drive." Cyrus' cheek to cheek smile alludes affirms his sarcasm.

During the way there, their contagious laughter can still be heard over the music Jonah loudly and proudly blasts. The overflowing volume has always helped increase Jonah's carefree confidence and sharp sensibilities, which means for Cyrus the stimulation more than worth putting up with.

The noise may always be a bit much, but as far as Cyrus is concerned, the sight will never be more than enough.

The second Jonah spots his mother at the the restaurant's outside seating area from from within the parking lot, he can already tell she lately hasn't been feeling her best, but he still greets her with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, mama."

"My _boys."_ She longingly hugs them both, and it's something about the closeness that gives Jonah a bad vibe.

"So how have you been." They both sit across from her.

"Oh, alright." She removes her sunglasses that give away her sleepless eyes.

"It's the Lupus, ya know." She shrugs it off like usual.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you could have told me-"

"No, no. It's never anything I can't handle. You know that. So-" she observes the both of them. "You've been sticking together. I like that."

It's nice to Jonah manage and participle in a healthy relationship, when the marriage he was raised around still isn't anything pretty to look at.

However it _did_ tell him everything _not_ to do, and what to most certainly avoid, so Jonah can't help but give their unhealthy relationship some credit as to why he's good at keeping things with Cyrus afloat.

He too, can relate. Thanks to growing up around parents with crumpled marriages they've both been able to identify red flags and warning signs; the dont's rather than the do's, something they had no idea would be such a blessing in disguise during the long run.

Because since when do the two insanely un-straight kids with imperfect mental health and broken families ever make it?

Apparently since five years ago.

"Yeah, aha..." Jonah greatly agrees. "So, Mom, how have you been feeling?"

"Oh, alright. This lupus has been having an affect on me."

"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" Jonah guiltily asks; the sympathetically merciful look on Cyrus' face speaking for him.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a few doctor's visits. A few medications."

"And you've been...Managing?" This leaves Jonah with a bad taste in his mouth.

"Nothing but a few side effects."

"Oh. Okay." He has a feeling she's struggling with the meds more than she's letting on, but doesn't want to pry.

If they were really that hard to handle she would tell him, right? These are just natural complications. Complications _he's_ going to face too.

"And those aren't too bad?"

"Just some fatigue."

"Is it harder to keep up with work?"

"Always _has_ been." She smirks. Julia's always been shamelessly unhappy with her job.

She thought working from home would be easier to do with Jonah out of the house and Christian at work all day, but since then it's only been more difficult. Not that being in an office all day would change things. If she has anything in the midst of all the stress and tasks it's the comfort of her own home.

"They're cutting my hours."

" _What?_ " Jonah asks, just as their waitress arrives and asks if they've decided on drinks.

Jonah orders a sweet tea, Cyrus a Coca Cola, and his mother a mimosa.

After the waitress has walked away, Julia chuckles at the longing stares she's being given.

"Did you not just _hear_ me?" She teases, and Cyrus' chuckle is more lighthearted than Jonah's.

"So, when you say they're cutting your hours, how many hours are we talking...?" Jonah asks.

"I might need a second job. Not that your father doesn't bring in a steady paycheck. It all started when I got consumed with the Lupus. Boss says it's not a punishment. Sounds like one to me."

"Oh, well, Mom, I'm sorry..."

"It'll be okay. Just got to pick up a few more responsibilities, that's all."

"Yeah, but, when you're feeling like this?" Now he's worrying about everyone but himself. He has a habit of doing that.

"I'll be okay. Nothing too bad. Just gotta keep going to the appointments and taking the meds. Speaking of which, we gotta get some for _you,_ remember?" She leans over and pats his shoulder.

"Yeah, uh-"

"I'll make the call when I'm in the car. What's the easiest weekday for you coming up?”

"The earlier the better. As long as it's not in the morning. Late afternoon." He explains.

"Got it. Don't worry. You won't be talking to 'em alone."

"Cyrus can be there too, right?" He doesn't exactly want her to be his only companion.

"Yes, yes, definitely. Late afternoon, then. I'm glad you're doing this. It's not gonna fix everything, but definitely something."

Jonah sure hopes so.

Cyrus grabs his hand from under the table, relieving some of his noticeable pressure.

"Do we need a few minutes?" The waitress asks when returning with their drinks.

Jonah and Cyrus look to one another.

"Sure, if that's okay." Jonah says to her, opening his straw and nervously fiddling with the wrapper.

He eyes the tall glass his mother will be drinking from.

She and Cyrus agreeing with him, their waitress turns away and walks in the other direction, leaving Julia to retrieve one of the many pills of hers from her purse.

"Mm, for the Lupus." She says to Jonah after she's swallowed it down a big sip of her drink, sensing he's impatient for an explanation.

"Oh..."

"Doctor's got me on all kinds of meds."

"Yeah..." He's not liking this pit he's feeling in his stomach, more red flags of his waving when she excuses herself to the bathroom.

"I can't be here." Jonah faces Cyrus the moment she's out of earshot.

"Jonah we just got here."

" _So?_ She's acting offensive. You really expect me to sit here and watch her drink that whole thing?" He points to mimosa she's already had the pleasure of taking a huge gulp of to down her pill.

"Jonah, if you're really that anxious-"

"I _am_. I _don't_ want her at my doctor's appointment. Just you." Jonah squeezes his hand in return.

"You make me feel safe."

"And she doesn't?"

"Not right _now,_ no."

"She's just under a lot of stress with her job right now, okay?"

"Yeah. Bet she's under a lot of stress with me too-"

"Don't say that. Let's wait and see how things get. I'm gonna get my sweatshirt from the car, if either of us need it."

"I won't..."He turns somewhat relaxed. "Thank you..."

Cyrus kisses the top of his head after letting go of his hand, giving it one last squeeze before he turns away.

On his way there, what he doesn't expect to become a witness to is Julia standing within the lot from afar, back in her shades and smoking nothing other than a cigarette.

"Shit..." He whispers, forcing himself to turn back around away from the sight. He speed walks back to the table, where their waitress has returned and Jonah is ordering for him.

"Hi, um, could I actually get that to go?" He sits back down, taking Jonah's hand for the reassurance he knows he's in need of.

"What are you doing..." Jonah asks, and the look that he's given communicates that something's up. More importantly, that someone's up to no good.

"Actually, never mind, could we just have the check?" Cyrus asks.

"Oh, okay. No problem..." Off she walks, and Jonah looks to Cyrus in a panic.

"What, what did you see-"

"Check her bag."

" _What?"_

"She was smoking-"

"No she wasn't. Don't say that." Jonah knows exactly what that would mean.

Sadly enough, he already can smell the smoke that follows along with her as she approaches them.

"We just remembered we have to go..." He keeps his tone polite.

"So soon?"

"Yeah, um, I just remembered there's something at school I really need to get done."

"Oh, well-"

"Here." He takes the cash from his wallet that adds up to at least thirty dollars.

"In case you want to stay. I have to meet someone for a project."

All that's left to do is hug her, and when he does he's almost scared to let go.

The longer it goes on the more he realizes how thin she's gotten. The smell of smoke is easier to intake, something that can only remind him of the times where it felt like everything was falling apart.

It's a potential foreshadow, a sign of something he never wanted imagine resurfacing.

"I love you..." He means it.

"Love you too, sweetie." She looks and sounds almost defeated. She was wishing for Jonah to be so caught up in his problems that he wouldn't notice any of her own. She knows it's a selfish thing to ask for, but she'd rather have his own hardships be overworked before he gets involved with hers.

Though they each have a feeling it's what’s already happening.

Cyrus hugs her for not as long, unable to know how much more he can look at her after he's stepped away.

Jonah surely can’t, having no choice but to face the opposite way and bringing Cyrus with him.

"Jonah..." He hopes to get something out of him on the way to the car.

"Let's just go." Jonah takes out his keys and unlocks the doors as they arrive, opening the passenger door and sending Cyrus inside.

After getting in next to him, he the mutes the stereo before the music can proceed to blast, parking on the other side of the lot so he can cry without the risk of her seeing. The engine is cut and his tears have began.

"Jonah-"

"She's not well..." Just saying this has him feel sick.

"I-I—the last time she smoked cigarettes was when everything was _happening,_ and-" He brings himself to look at him, giving Cyrus a chance to hold his face.

"And now _other_ things are happening. Doesn't mean it's happening all over again."

"Okay, but she's _still_ clearly not doing good. What-what you expect my _Dad_ to help her? She didn't even _mention_ him."

"You need to think about _you_ right now." Cyrus calmly instructs. "Okay? Not her. Not me. _You."_ He brings him closer and kisses his forehead.

"What if she doesn't call like she said-"

"Then _I'll_ call. I'll call right now. What's the number."

This gets Jonah to laugh, not because he's not taking Cyrus seriously but because of how serious Cyrus has become.

He exhales, watching him take out his phone, deciding to lean up against him.

"You don't always have to be taking care of me..." He swipes away his phone so he'll look at him.

"I wanna take care of you too..."

"You _do_ take care of me." He responds as he's wrapped in Jonah's arms and rocked back and forth. "Everyday."

Jonah giggles. "I try to,"

Cyrus is released, noticing Jonah wipe another quick tear and look off to the side in distress.

"You want me to drive?" This time he's not kidding.

"I don't wanna put that pressure on you..." Jonah faces him, remembering to hand him back his phone after he nodded in agreement.

"Were you really gonna call the place?" He starts to grin.

"Yeah," Cyrus strokes back a strand of Jonah's hair.

"I'll take you myself if I have to."

"You mean _I'll_ take myself and _you'll_ come along by my side?" Jonah teases.

"Call it want you want."

Giggling, Jonah gives his lips a quick peck.

"You still wanna stay the night? I can get you to school if no one else can." He presses his nose up against his neck.

Cyrus smiles and tips back his head. "Mm, answer's still yes."

"Good. Campus is better when you're there." Jonah gives a kiss to his Adam's apple and sits back up in his seat.

"You wanna stop at your Dad's and get a change of clothes?" He asks him.

" _No_ I wanna wear your clothes to school tomorrow." Cyrus' prideful grin has Jonah snicker and shake his head.

"Again?"

Never does Cyrus have to ask. Jonah only grows hesitant because he wants him to be fully sure. His own clothes always looks better on Cyrus than they do him, not that it's an inconvenience.

With Cyrus, most things never are.

 

They've made it to the university, where Jonah now leads Cyrus down the hallway of his dorm, taking him inside where Jerome watches them walk in hand in hand.

" _Cyrus,_ my man!" He beams, walking over with his arm already outstretched.

"Hey...!"

Grinning at their interaction, Jonah releases Cyrus' hand so they can high five.

"You just stopping by?" Jerome asks them, looking at Jonah who clarifies.

"Cy's staying till the morning."

"Sweet, you need a ride back for school?" Jerome's already offering.

"Oh, no, thank you though, haha." Cyrus politely smiles.

"I will, then." Jonah butts in.

"No, guys, just let TJ it's fine-" Cyrus is insisting, and he has to interrupt their clamoring.

"Guys it's _fine!"_ His voice raises in a smile, scoffing after they quiet down and chucking along.

"I'm gonna go meet with my group. I won't be back till after dark."

"We get it, dude. Your class doesn't start till noon. You don't have to brag." Jonah jokes, smiling at each of them as they all laugh.

"Jonah has homework to finish up, right Jonah?" Cyrus smirks at him.

"Hmm, so do you."

"Good luck with that." Jerome chuckles at Jonah's frown, smiling once more at Cyrus before grabbing his phone and exiting out.

Throughout the next hour, Cyrus finishes his lesser amount of work, giving Jonah the privacy to complete his own by keeping himself and watching YouTube videos in the corner.

"Done, I think.” Jonah declares halfway into the next hour, leaving his desk in utter relief, and springing over to Cyrus in the far left corner.

"You good, Cy' guy?" Kneeling down behind him and hugging his torso, he observes the Dr. Phil video he's watching over his shoulder.

Cyrus perks up from the contact, taking out his earbuds and smiling to him.

"You know what we're getting to eat?"

"I dunno, what _are_ we getting to eat?" Jonah starts to tease, giggling with him in response.

"Pizza?" Cyrus pauses the video and plays with Jonah's hair.

"Hmm, why am I not surprised."

Cyrus grins.

"Let's go." Jonah stands, lifting Cyrus up and bringing carrying him out on his shoulders.

 

Instead of firstly going out to eat, they spent most of their time walking around Walmart, _then_ they spent most their time walking around Target, and since they had already eaten so much crap from there, they weren't fully hungry until _after_ they saw a movie.

"I _can't believe_ you made me see that with my own two eyes." Cyrus follows Jonah back into the dorm with a raised voice and smiling face.

Jonah chortles, shutting the door and throwing the shopping bags next to Jerome's bed.

"At least you walked into it ex _pecting_ to be trash."

"Why do always have the _biggest_ expectations for the _worst_ movies." Cyrus laughs, and Jonah steps over to him, keeping them close.

"Why do _you_ always have the worst expectations for the _best_ movies?" He grins.

"Because I have low expectations for _all_ movies. It's better that way." Cyrus has him giggle.

"Tell me more. Please." He sounds sarcastic but is actually serious.

" _Every time_ I thought it was going to end it just kept _going."_ Cyrus rants. "Felt _much_ longer than two hours."

"I'll make the next two worth your while," Jonah suggests, turning Cyrus' face playfully skeptical.

" _Just_ two?"

Their laughter dies down at the sound of Jonah's phone.

Taking it out and looking to the active screen, Jonah freezes up when reading who's texted.

"It's my Mom..."

"Oh..." Cyrus observes him carefully, exhaling calmly when watching the relaxed changes in his expressions.

"My appointment's on Tuesday..." Jonah reads over her words.

He looks up at him. "Four 'o clock..."

Cyrus sighs out in awe. "Jonah that's _great._ Do you believe her?"

"I think so. But she's still _not_ right. I—I don't want to see her again alone." He's getting choked up, which has Cyrus set his phone down for him. "Hey..." He makes sure Jonah's looking at him.

"I'll be there. If that's what you want."

"Please..." His voice almost quivers, and Cyrus cups his face before initiating a kiss that starts out soft but turns quickly eager. One after the other, they take each other in their arms as the panting increases.

Cyrus stops and is unable to look at him without beginning to kiss against his collarbone.

"Been a long day..." He murmurs into his skin, Jonah humming contently as he dips back his head.

"Yeah...Maybe we should lay down." They both know what that truly means

"'Lie down.'" Cyrus corrects, giving him a happily goofy look.

"Just _lie_ _down_ before I change my mind." Jonah sends them guffawing over to the bed, where they can never get enough of each other for the rest of the evening.

 

When all was said and done, Jonah had them change back into their clothes so Jerome wouldn't 'grow suspicious.'

If it wasn't for the sound of their breathing, he wouldn't have even been able to tell they were there. Hell, the room was already so dark when he arrived, that he just about stumbled over all the Walmart and Target bags. He was almost too tired to notice.

Now it's seven hours later, and Cyrus remains asleep after Jonah and Jerome have both gotten up.

"Wanna get coffee?" Jerome asks to him, standing with Jonah beside his bed. "Maybe it can fix your aches." He smiles.

"Funny." Jonah says, going back to glancing over at Cyrus, who personally isn't planning on moving until he has no choice.

"Should we wake him up or let him heal?" Jerome jokes, snickering at Jonah's glare.

"Eh, he's gotta get up anyway. TJ'll be here soon."

Jerome can't help but notice it almost hurts Jonah to stress.

"Don't say _anything."_ Jonah can see the smirk on his face, Jerome having to stifle his laughter.

"This mean your ass will crack if I smack it?"

Their chortles turn Cyrus half awake, Jonah seeing and carefully climbing on top of him.

"Mm." This opens his eyes.

"Wake up we're getting coffee." Jonah smiles, crawling all over and clinging onto him.

"Gonna have to get off first..." He yawns, Jonah standing up and offering his hand as Jerome resumes to laugh.

Cyrus grabs onto Jonah with one hand and checks his phone with the other.

"We gotta meet TJ." He sits up.

"Already?" Jonah asks.

"He can get coffee with us." Jerome says.

"TJ doesn't drink coffee." Cyrus states. "In the morning he usually just vapes and downs an energy drink."

"Figures."

"I know. Let's go." Cyrus grabs his phone and looks to Jonah.

"Which shirt of yours should I wear." He grins, giggling as he's shoved over to Jonah's dresser.

"Whichever one will get us there faster."

Cyrus makes sure to change into one Jonah is rarely ever seen in.

 

When they meet TJ out in the lot, Jonah's more than ecstatic to see who's come along for ride.

" _What's up Andi man?!"_ He sprints to her, picks her up in a hug and spins her around.

"You already have coffee?" She smiles as he finishes spinning her around, setting her down.

"I have now,"

TJ, Jonah, and Jerome stand beside each other, viewing the sight in wonder as TJ takes a happy hit of his new vape.

"Where's _my_ hug?" Buffy asks, stepping out the open door of the backseat and pulling him in.

" _Hey,"_ he drags on, hugging her back and pressing his nose into her shoulder. "So glad you guys are here."

"Us too."

They separate, and Jerome walks his way over to greet them.

"You guys gonna get coffee with us?" He asks after they've said their hellos.

"I will, yeah." Andi answers.

"TJ and I are gonna get Red Bull's at 7/11, but we'll meet you guys there." Buffy points over to him.

"'Kay. We'll see you guys." Andi, Jerome and Jonah walk over to Cyrus, Buffy following and joining TJ's side.

The group departs in opposite directions, and Buffy tells TJ to put away his vape so there aren't any 'incidents' on the way there like the last time.

"Where'd you _get_ that thing, anyway?" She remembers to ask when they’ve arrived inside safe and sound.

"Under my bed." He pulls it back out now that they’re here, taking a hit and releasing a puff of vapor which has Buffy rolls her eyes.

"Is that orange creamsicle?" She takes in the scent.

"Maybe."

They each grab a twelve pack of Red Bull, walking over to the checkout counter and placing them down for the man who stands behind to ring up.

"ID please." He looks directly to TJ.

"Dude it's Red Bull."

" _TJ,"_ Buffy rolls her eyes. "Just give it to him."

"Why _me?"_

After receiving another one of her scowls, he takes out his license and hands it over.

"Organ donor, huh?" The cashier reads the opposite of what's printed on the card.

"No..."

"Why's that?"

"Can you just...Check us out, please..." Buffy asks.

TJ's license is set down between the two packages.

"That's a nice vape you got there." He keeps an eye on it as he finally scans both items.

"Yeah, I know..."

"That'll be 17. 32."

TJ gives him a twenty, and he swears it's taking forever for the guy just to count the change he’s trying to give him.

"You know what, uh, it's okay, you already gave me the two dollars, so..." Now TJ just feels plain awkward. He wants out. Buffy's completed half a level of Candy Crush, already.

"Would you like your receipt?"

"No, thank you..."

TJ and Buffy grab one box each and scurry out of there.

" _God,_ that guy is weird." TJ resumes speaking once the door behind them is closed.

"Whatever. Let's just meet them."

So, they go back to lot, throw the Red Bull's into the back of the car, and drive over to the Starbucks right down the street to avoid anymore walking.

 

"If _anything_ happens with anything before tomorrow, call me." Cyrus lightly instructs to Jonah when saying their goodbyes, back on campus thirty minutes before he, TJ, Andi and Buffy need to be at school.

"What's tomorrow?" Buffy asks them.

"Meds." Jonah shares.

"Jonah that's awesome!" Andi supports.

"Yeah, well, we'll see. Still gotta figure it out." He looks to Cyrus. "I'll get you the address."

"Sounds good. See you then. Or maybe before." Cyrus figures he'll be in need of some prior reassuring. "Thanks for letting me stay..." He steps forward and hugs him tight.

"Anytime. Love you."

"Love you." The hug ends, Jonah facing the others. "And I love you guys too." He hugs them each, letting Jerome do the same.

"Bye guys."

Buffy gets behind the wheel so they won't have to deal with TJ using one hand to drive, and Cyrus wins shotgun after his rock covers TJ's scissors.

"How is that possible?! It's _scissors."_

"Your scissors couldn't cut through my rock, TJ. It's _physics."_

They're still arguing about it after they've gotten inside, and Buffy chugs a quick sip of her Red Bull before staring the engine and turning up the radio.

"TJ stop vaping." She sees it when adjusting the rear view mirror.

"Well where-?!"

" _Vape out the window!"_

TJ's doing just that as they take off out into the street, Jerome and Jonah chortling at the looks of vapor still lingering in the air.

"Is that creamsicle?" Jerome asks.

"Who knows..." Jonah feels a strange emptiness, now that they've left. It's like they're living completely separate lives. Sometimes he wishes he never came here at all.

Sometimes, he feels that they think just because he's entered college and is getting more of an education, it means he's starting to get his life together. When in reality, with all that's going on around him, it mainly feels like the exact opposite.

"I'm gonna go inside..." He's mindlessly begins to walk off without as much as a glance.

For someone who's already nineteen, he can't help but wonder if he's already run out of time. The last thing he needs is for these meds, or most importantly his mother, to drive him further away from stability.

Except he fears something like that may have already happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to request available prompts for what could be the next chapter, go ahead, and if not then I still have more in store thahks to you guys :)  
> (Or maybe even without the prompts, as you can see. But they make it more fun :) 
> 
> List one:   
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/amp  
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 71.  
> 46.  
> 59\. 
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 17.  
> 48.  
> 49.  
> 82.
> 
> List two:   
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 33.  
> 71.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 18.  
> 19.  
> 21.  
> 24.  
> 53.  
> 72.  
> 79.  
> 112.  
> 113.
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah


	6. Different Hardships:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus continues to stay alongside Jonah as things grow worse for him. Meanwhile, as usual, TJ is dragging Buffy into a much less serious issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeeeee enjoy sorry it’s so long

It's lunchtime at Grant High School, and on a nice day like this, a majority of the student body choose to eat outside behind the building.

This includes, Buffy, TJ, Andi and Cyrus, but in this case, TJ has yet to appear.

"TJ?" Buffy has gone looking for him, walking across the hill that leads below into the backwoods.

She calls his phone, frowning when she hears his obnoxious 2 Chainz ringtone coming from fifteen feet down.

"TJ?!" She sees him lying at the bottom of the hill, back turned and appearing almost unconscious.

" _TJ."_ She makes her way down to him cautiously, the opposite of how he approached, which is why he now lies below her.

"Buffy..." He rolls over, looking at her in sorrow. "Am I dead?"

"No, you idiot, who hurt you?" She offers her hand.

"No one. I fell." He gets up on his own without much of a problem.

"If you could stand up why did you keep laying here."

"Better than being up there with everyone else," he points to the top of the hill, and she glares.

"So what, you just fell out of nowhere...?" She knows that's not like him.

"No. I dropped my vape all the way down and tripped trying to go after it. _Stop_ rolling your eyes, okay? I-I could have been _seriously_ — _injured!"_

"Well you're _going_ to be if you keep ob _sessing_ over your stupid _toy!"_ She threatens to smack some sense into him.

" _It's not a toy!"_

"I don't see it anywhere around here..." She searches as much of the ground as her eyes can see. "It probably rolled into the woods or something."

"Can you check with me?"

" _Why."_

"What if I find it but it's almost mugged from me again?"

" _Fine,"_ she rolls her eyes. "I'll help you look for your stupid pussy stick."

"That's it! You're not allowed to talk the entire time!" He commands.

" _Gladly."_

"What are you guys doing?" Lunch boxes in tow, Andi and Cyrus come walking onto the hill and look down to them from up above.

"Looking for TJ's vape." Buffy answers flatly.

"I keep _telling you_ to put it on a key chain." Cyrus tells him.

" _How?!"_ His question echoes.

Not wanting to stand around for this, Cyrus and Andi walk back to their table to sit this one out.

 

There's sleeping, and there's lying in the bed and sulking at the wall. This is what Jerome walks in on Jonah doing after he's returned from his first class of the day. He can tell because his shoulders are hunched and the rest of his body is too uptight to be asleep.

"Wanna grab a bite?" He figures it's worth a shot.

"Already did..." Jonah's effort is at a minimum.

"By myself."

Jerome never's exactly handled Jonah in this type of state before, so he's hoping trying to cheer him up just doesn't make things worse.

"C'mon. Talk to me." He encourages, walking over and sitting before where he lies.

"I have _no_ idea what I'm supposed to be doing..."

"Well maybe I can help you with that."

"Not with school. With everything..." He's never heard Jonah sound so depressed. It only aspires him more to give a pep talk.

"Hey sit up. Look at me. I wanna tell you something."

Jonah listens, and the expression of devastation on his face is almost painful to look at. There are tears in his eyes that he refuses to lower down.

"I-I'm sorry you don't deserve to see my like this." He blinks and hastily wipes them away.

"It's okay. Listen. I don't know how you're gonna respond to those meds tomorrow, but what I do know is that you _will_ eventually get to where you want to be."

"Eventually sounds like a long time..."

"I know. But it'll happen. Let me ask you something: did you decide to go to school here because it has what you want, or because it's close by?"

"Close by...I don't even know _what_ I want, yet. Right now I'm just taking regular classes.

"Good. Don't force yourself to figure something out yet. It's not easy keeping up  with both, especially when you're already feeling so held back. You don't want to be dealing with a major you’re unsure of." Jerome advises.

"That's true...

"It's all gone by so fast. Betcha college will go by just as fast as high school."

"I hope so. Maybe I don't. I dunno. I'm scared that when I graduate-if I even make it that far-I'm gonna be drowning in _debt_ with some useless degree."

"Every college kid's worst nightmare."

They chuckle.

"You're not gonna let that happen. You're too bright for that to happen. Besides-even if you _are_ drowning in debt, all you gotta do is strum your guitar on the side of the street and sing nineties covers." Jerome predicts, getting Jonah to cackle in response.

"Seriously-you can do that shit _now._ Fuck college, dude. Get _signed._ Post stuff on YouTube and let the rest work from there."

Jonah chuckles, turning deep in thought and gazing down to the floor.

"If that's what it comes down to, then..." He looks back up with a cheeky smile, Jerome chortling.

"Don't worry about everything after, though. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna marry Cyrus, and own a bunch of cats in the small-sized apartment of your dreams."

"That's the dream," Jonah smirks, stifling back more laughter.

"But then you'll move into a big house to hoard all your adopted children in."

The length of Jonah's snickering has Jerome guffaw.

"Okay-I'm gonna _stop you_ there." Now they're laughing harder.

After gaining control of themselves, they each smile to one another.

"Thanks for making me feel better..." Jonah is still stunned Jerome even cares about his well being. Not that he has any reason to. Jerome was fond of him from the start, and that's what Jonah finds so shocking. He doesn't expect many people to like him.

Sometimes it's still hard to process that Cyrus is _really, actually,_ in love with him.

"Anytime. When's your last class."

"Six. Cyrus wants to know if we wanna go to TJ's."

"Why, so we can have a ceremony for his vape that got shot?" They both laugh.

"Probably. But you have class at seven." Jonah remembers.

"Tell him I wish I could make it. Vape memorial or not."

Jonah just about laughs himself out his depression.

If only it was that easy.

 

At the time they discussed, Jonah shows up to TJ's, not that he really wanted to because it's something that required, one: driving, and two: socializing, which is something he's now going to definitely have to do since he just walked through the front door.

He's gleefully greeted by Cyrus, TJ and Buffy, who sit on the living room couch eating pizza rolls and watching the television set.

"How was the drive over?" Buffy asks him, as he makes his way to the couch and scoots in between her and Cyrus.

"Fine..." His refusal to look at any of them makes Cyrus indicate that he's not feeling the best.

He knows not to ask, but simply puts his arm around him and brings him in close.

It's enough for Jonah's muscles to relax and his thoughts to turn somewhat steady.

"How was your guys' day." He looks to each of them.

"Good-"

" _Bad."_ TJ interrupts Buffy. "I lost my vape."

"TJ, kids in Africa don't even know what a vape _is."_ Buffy snaps at him.

"So you're pulling _that_ card again!"

" _Yes!_ Because you're _ridiculous!_ There are people that have to live without food and shelter every day; _you_ act like your dumb vape is as important as water!"

" _Sometimes_ it is!"

With a sudden smile, Jonah playfully presses his ear against Cyrus' shoulder at the sound of their bickering, to which Cyrus chuckle and strokes his hair.

Thankfully there's a knock on the door to put an end to the interference.

Now that he can hear his thoughts better, Jonah's growing concerned about potentially having to associate with another person. He's known these three friends around him for almost all his life, and he's still sometimes ashamed to be around them when feeling the way he does right now. He knows they can't still be hanging around him because that's always been the routine, but sometimes he wonders if one day he'll be the one left behind.

If he went to school somewhere far away, he hates to think that they wouldn't be talking the way they used to.

"I'll get it." TJ sulks on the way to the door.

"Yeah, we can see that." Buffy cringes to him, just before the door carelessly swung open.

"Ah!" It's the awkward guy from 7/11.

" _Don't shut the door on me."_ He pushes it back open before TJ can slam it in his face.

Cyrus, Jonah and Buffy all take alert.

"I'm _here_ to give you your license, that you left at the store."

" _How do you have my address?"_

"'Cause it's _on_ there."

"Oh yeah. So, you're not gonna like, start _stalking_ me now, are you...?" TJ puts out there.

The man rolls his eyes. "No. But I have one condition."

" _Nice job TJ, now we have to go to the local gas station."_ Buffy assumes he's gotten them banned.

"That vape of yours. I want it."

"Oh, for the _love of God-"_ Buffy starts.

"My vape?? B-but I just lost it! And the other one got _shot!"_ TJ's gone into a panic.

"Then I guess you're not getting _this_ back until I get what I want, huh?" The man mockingly holds it in front of TJ's face.

"Come _on,_ dude-!"

"Meet me tomorrow, at my work. Four thirty." He blatantly sets up a place and time.

"Fine. I was gonna get a Monster from there, anyway." TJ tries his best to sound intimidating.

"Not there. My other job."

"Yeah, economy's rough. You work in an office or something?"

"I'll send you the address before tomorrow."

" _How-?_ You-? Who _are you,_ anyway?" TJ grimaces at him, the man taking out the license of his very own and showing it to him.

TJ squints and leans forward,

"Okay, _Jeff-ory._ How do I even know that's your real _name?"_

"Because this my _driver's license."_ Jeffery pulls it away and puts both into his wallet.

"Four thirty. _Be there."_

He closes the door on his own.

"So-" TJ instantly looks to Buffy-

"I'm _not_ going with you."

"But what if I have to drive myself and I'm pulled over and get screwed because I don't have my license?!" He's begun sweating.

"Then I guess _don't drive with one hand on the wheel_ like an _idiot._ Not that that should be so hard anymore, without your _toy."_

"God dammit _fine."_

"Why is everyone so obsessed with your vape?" Jonah asks while sitting up.

"Don't know." TJ sits back down in his spot at the right end of the couch. "But I lost it somewhere in the woods at school."

"Why were you in the woods." Jonah asks.

"'Cause it fell down the hill and I had to go after it."

"You lost it down there _again?"_ This is in no way the first time.

" _I_ think it's a good thing." Buffy keeps her eyes locked forward.

"Dammit Buffy! If you loved me, you would accept me for my flaws!"

"Yeah Buffy," Cyrus backs him up. "Would you rather him be _high_ all the time?"

"He might as _well_ be!" Buffy yells, Cyrus smiling at Jonah's laughter.

"Yeah Buffy." TJ reasons. "I could be a stoner. Or a drug addict."

"Are you sure you should even meet that guy? He looks really suspicious..." Cyrus recoils at the thought of him.

"Yeah dude. You can always just get a new license." Jonah tells him.

"No way man, if I do that then he'll just hunt me down." TJ assumes.

"He's got a point." Cyrus figures.

At this point, Buffy can only keep in mind that's it not her problem. No matter how badly TJ thinks it should be.

 

By the end of the night, Buffy has gone home, Jonah's fallen half asleep on the couch, and Cyrus and TJ have been staying up watching American Ninja Warrior.

"Think he should go back tonight?" TJ looks over to Jonah, who stays asleep against Cyrus' right side with his cheek smushed against his shoulder.

"Nah, he hates driving in the dark. He'll be too tired anyway." Cyrus takes hold of Jonah's hand and squeezes it lightly.

"Yeah, I don't wanna drive either." TJ looks back at the TV. "You wanna stay and we'll just drop him off on the way in the morning?"

"Yeah, alright."

"Cool."

It's not long before they're sleeping along with him.

 

When Jonah comes to his senses, apart of him doesn't even remember where he is, until the sound of TJ's iPhone alarm and the feel of Cyrus' arms wrapped around him turns everything crystal clear.

His eyes flutter open to the pitch black room before him, just barely able to read to himself the time on the cable box.

"Mm. TJ..." Cyrus gives him a light kick.

Jonah rolls closer to Cyrus in the midst of a yawn.

" _TJ."_

Cyrus' sharp command sends TJ lurching awake.

"Hm." He stares up at the ceiling with thoughts flooding back to him that almost bring him back to sleep.

"Ugh." He turns over and freshly stops the sound from continuing.

"Does this mean we have to get up..." He's already plopping back down.

"That's kind of what an alarm is _for,_ dumbass." Cyrus has little patience with him during mornings before school.

" _Christ..."_ TJ can barely make it to the ground, pushing himself along and almost tripping over his jeans he had thrown to the floor in the middle of the night.

"Gotta pee. Can you guys see my boner in the dark?"

Jonah snickers face down into his pillow.

" _No,_ thank God." Cyrus retorts, unable to see TJ's middle finger aimed at him as he exits his sight.

Cyrus sighs to the sound of TJ closing the bathroom door and flipping on the light switch for guidance.

"Ah!" He cries at the amount of brightness, making Jonah quietly giggle himself back up.

"What are we gonna do with him..." Cyrus smiles, voice sluggish and hand squeezing Jonah's very own.

"Who knows..." Jonah practically wraps his whole self around him.

"Did you ever tell Jerome where you are?" Cyrus comes to the thought.

"Eh, he gets the idea." Jonah dismisses the concern, to which Cyrus chuckles.

"Your appointment's today..." He leans down and sends sensual kisses to the center of his neck.

"Mmm...I gonna see you there?" Jonah looks up above him, exhaling through both the anxiety and the pleasure.

"Of course." Cyrus answers against his skin, squeezing Jonah's hand and moving down his lips to Jonah's collarbone.

It can only get so sexual with the faded sound of TJ's piss coming from one room over.

 

By the end of the hour, when the three of them are ready to go, Cyrus is taken aback when Jonah announces he'll be taking off on his own.

"What?" He and TJ stand beside each other before Jonah inside the living room.

"Well my car's here, so..." Jonah shrugs.

"You sure you're gonna be alright?" TJ asks.

"Yeah, yeah." He rapidly nods. "The music will wake me up more. Thank you for the coffee, Mrs. Kippen!" He yells into the kitchen.

"Oh, anytime, dears!" She comes strolling out over next to them.

" _TJ_ never drinks my coffee." She humors, looking over to him.

Jonah and Cyrus both grin.

"'Cause I don't drink anyone's coffee..." He's been trying to tell her for years that it's nothing against her.

"Don't forget your egg salad!" She hands him his lunch in a brown paper bag, kissing his cheek and waving to the other two her way back into the kitchen.

They snicker as TJ rubs the germs off his face.

"Thanks for the clothes," Jonah brings up. It was hard for TJ to find them shirts that they didn't deem 'obnoxious' or 'flashy.'

When Cyrus changed out of Jonah's clothes, he put them into a plastic bag and tried giving them back, but Jonah insisted they be kept.

"And for the toothbrushes." Cyrus adds.

"Yeah yeah, they're yours now from now on. My Mom'll probably write your initials on them."

The couple snickers.

"Nice. So uh," Jonah looks to Cyrus. "My class ends at three ten, should I pick you up and take you there with me?"

"Yeah. Sounds good." Cyrus brings him in for a hug, giving him a few back pats and a kiss to his cheek.

"Drive safe."

"Yeah. You guys too." He looks to TJ as they step apart.

"Especially since you don't have your license on you."

"He just might actually drive with two hands on the wheel now that his _vape_ is gone." Cyrus grins.

"I gotta find it by the afternoon."

"TJ, just _go_ to the DMV and-"

"That costs _money."_ Jonah's stubbornly interrupted.

"Well this could cost you your _life!"_

"Calm down. I'll be fine. Buffy's going with me."

"She gave in?" Cyrus asks.

"No, I'm still forcing her."

Cyrus' brow furrows.

"Well, alright, uh...Good luck with _that."_ Jonah looks to TJ, who responds with a peace sign.

"See ya man. Hold on till later. Be careful if you go to 7/11 in case he's there." TJ walks over and squeezes Jonah tight, who hugs back but gives Cyrus a puzzled yet concerned look.

"Okay..."

He's not really planning on going anywhere else besides class and the doctor. Not that he even _wants_ to do that. The anxiety has already given him an unwanted need for isolation.

"Don't forget your keys." TJ spots them on the coffee table, letting go of Jonah who walks over and gets them.

"Is your Mom gonna be at the appointment with you...?" TJ asks, and Jonah freezes on his way to the door.

"Um, I don't know..." He turns to them. "That's what she said, but...We haven't really talked since—" Jonah doesn't want to finish, and TJ has a feeling it would be best if he found out from Cyrus.

"Maybe you can text her." Cyrus keeps Jonah from continuing, not that he has the strength to.

"Or I can."

"Or my Mom could. She loves your Mom." TJ points out.

"It-it's fine I'll probably just call on the way to campus, uh-"

They both notice that Jonah looks away to wipe a few tears he hoped would be discreet.

"I'll let you know when I'm there..." He looks to them with a weakly forced smile.

"Okay..." TJ knows not to crack him, right now. "Bye..." Cyrus keeps an eye on him walking out the door, feeling almost broken knowing that this is the state he's leaving in.

TJ wishes he had an answer when Cyrus looks to him in pure devastation.

 

One thing that's striking Jonah on his way to the campus, is that right now, he'd rather drive with anyone else beside him than drive alone. He was hoping the music would encourage him to remain calm like it's supposed to, but this time around all it does his drown away his thoughts.

The noise is captivating but the silence is just as overwhelming. Wanting nothing more than to be off the road, he's counting down the time until his arrival.

He's almost constantly checking each available mirror and switching between speeds. If only he could ignore the fact that there's more than one person behind him. It almost makes him sick.

A drop of rain falling onto the windshield heightens his anxieties.

It ends up being only a slight drizzle, but instead of giving himself assurance he feels insanely foolish for ever daring to jump to conclusions.

He cries the rest of the way over to the property, small inconveniences creeping their ways into the back of his mind; as if the situation couldn't feel worse enough.

His parking job couldn't be more rushed, but he couldn't have been thankful enough to get a spot right near the dorms.

On the way in he texts Jerome about his return, hoping to hear back fairly quickly, or at best right away.

He speed walks all the way to their door, but it isn't only until a few moments later when he realizes he left the key in his wallet, which he left in the glove compartment of his car.

So he trembles all the way back to the car, feeling inside one pocket for the keys and almost collapsing before realizing they're actually in the other, and last but not least hyperventilates when the car won't open even after it's been unlocked.

He forgot to double click the button.

" _Fuck!"_ He whispers, throwing the door open and almost bumping his head when leaning inside.

With his lack of luck, he almost can't believe the wallet is actually in the same place. He slams closed both the glove compartment and the car door, which he remembers to lock when going back inside.

On his way there, he's reminded that Jerome still hasn’t responded, which only gets him there faster.

It's not until he's about to reach inside his wallet when he realizes the key might not be tucked in there after all, and now he's hesitant to look.

From the anticipation comes a new set of panic, driving him to open up and see for himself.

He grabs it the moment it's spotted, sloppily turning the locks and twisting the knob.

" _What?"_ He asks, figuring the worst case scenario until realizing the door was already unlocked when he got here.

" _Jerome!"_ He grumbles, freshly unlocking it and finally making his way into the room where he wasn't expecting to find himself alone.

Closing the door with a sinking heart, he sees Jerome's absence as a cue to drop everything, climb inside his bed, and finish crying during the short remainder of time before class.

He sets his alarm to remind himself how much time he has.

 

He showed up to class in sunglasses and a hoodie, and that's exactly how he's been planning on leaving. He's still mad that it was never cancelled by the downpour of rain he was hoping would maybe cause some sort of natural disaster, but he knew that would be a bad case of wishful thinking.

"Jonah?" Jerome thought he recognized him from far down the hall, joining his side and following along.

"You actually recognized me?"

"So who are you under cover from?" He knows he can't be high.

"As of right now, everyone."

They make their way past through the crowd of individuals and clear into an empty space.

"I was just gonna text you back. How was TJ's last night?"

"Fine. Morning could've gone better."

"Why what happened."

"Nothing with them. Just bullshit on the way here. Turns out I hate driving by myself."

"You have your appointment today, right?"

"Yeah. Cyrus is meeting me. I'm still— _really_ nervous."

"Hey, you got this. Worse comes to worse and they don't work on you, best thing you can do is just sell 'em." Jerome smirks, patting Jonah's right shoulder in assurance.

Jonah snickers.

"Want me to drop you off at the place?" Jerome picks up what he said about driving.

"No, I-I'll be okay. I'm picking up Cyrus on the way there. Pretty sure I'm gonna be staying with him afterwards until class." Jonah explains the plan.

"I have class that time too. Will you be on the meds by tonight?"

"I think so..." Jonah predicts. "As long as you're officially diagnosed with whatever it is you need treated, you can get 'em pretty fast."

"Damn. Well if you bring 'em back here make sure they're locked up, 'cause, ya know—" Jerome slyly grins, Jonah quietly laughing with a shake of his head and leading him along.

"Take those shades off, dude, you look high."

"I know."

Under the circumstances, things between them couldn't have worked out any better.

 

Considering thunder has decided to join alongside the pouring rain, everyone in Grant High School has decided to stay inside for lunch today, but that's not stopping TJ from asking the others to tag along with him for his vape search party out in the woods.

"TJ we're _not_ going out there." Buffy rebuffs, standing before him in the middle of Andi and Cyrus near their table he interrupted them from eating at.

"Fine! If you guys won't help me I'll just do it myself." He declares.

"Hey Buffy," a fellow acquaintance of hers comes personally greeting her with a smile, someone she's been hoping to talk to more and start a friendship with.

"Oh hey Natalie. What's up?" She smiles, already engaged in a conversation that hasn't started.

"Hey Natalie. Wanna help me look for my vape?" TJ butts in, and Buffy can no longer bring herself to look at this.

Andi and Cyrus look to each other, Natalie glancing at Buffy who's turned away and is in the process of rubbing her temples, before looking back to him.

"Um...No thanks." She holds back a cringe. Now sweating, Buffy can barely proceed eye contact.

"I'll talk to you later." Natalie excuses herself.

"Okay..." Buffy's smile is pained. "Bye Natalie..." She flimsily waves.

"Bye..."

TJ notices he's the only one she doesn't take a glance at, and once her back is turned, Buffy wastes no time scowling his way.

"Does your life revolve around embarrassing me?"

"Possibly. I'm going out there."

"TJ-"

" _You can't stop me Andi."_ He insists.

"Do you even have anything to protect you from-"

TJ walks off in the middle of Cyrus' question, leaving the three of them gawking at his exit.

"He's an idiot." Cyrus says.

"But he's our idiot," Buffy reminds them.

"True." Cyrus and Andi both agree.

"How's Jonah?" Buffy brings up to him. "You mentioned he didn't look so good this morning."

"Yeah, but I was just texting him. Jerome's getting him through until the afternoon." Cyrus has them know, and the two express their relief.

"I don't know how I'm gonna get TJ through the day without putting him on a _leash._ " Buffy vents.

Cyrus snickers. "Did that guy ever send him the address like he said he would?"

"No. Don't even know _how_ he would, unless he showed up again." It's not like a license displays someone's phone number or social media handle.

"You gonna go with him if he does?" Andi asks.

"God dammit _fine."_ TJ's already been pestering her about it enough. "But _only_ 'cause I cant have him being by himself when he does something _stupid._ If he's going down I might as well go down with him."

"Aw," Andi starts.

" _Yeah yeah,_ I'm gonna go check on him and make sure he's still alive." She rolls her eyes on the way out, leaving Andi and Cyrus to grin at each other in amusement.

"She can't live without him, can she." Andi asks.

" _No,_ she cannot."

If Buffy were there, she would be in some serious denial.

 

**Hey mama. Was just wondering if you're ok and up to meet me at the 4:30 appointment.**

This is what Jonah's been trying to send to his Mom for the past five minutes, while he's been seated among his overly chatty classmates and secretly hoping for the professor to never show up.

The two times he tried calling her it went right to voicemail, so now he figures it's time he calls his Dad.

"Jonah, you okay?" He answers after the first two rings.

"Hey, yeah, uh, sorry I haven't been reaching out lately, uh, do you know where Mom is...?" His heart drops earlier than expected.

"Jonah-"

"What. What happened. You know she fell of the wagon, right?"

"Yes of course I know. She took off last night-"

Eyes closing, Jonah sighs deeply and rubs the center of his forehead as Christian continues.

"But I don't want you worrying about it."

Opening his eyes, Jonah cringes and sits up in his chair.

"Don't want me ' _worrying about it'-?"_

"I can take you to your appointment."

"N-no it's okay I'm meeting Cyrus there it's fine. I'm in class I gotta go." He excuses.

"Jonah-"

"Love you. I'll see you after the doctor's, okay? Bye." Jonah hangs up without another word, his head spinning and eyes blinking back tears.

He doesn't know what's worse-that it's happening during times like these, or that's it happening at all.

After thinking that, he's never felt more selfish.

 

"Alright Cyrus where is is." TJ demands to him the moment Buffy and them enter inside Cyrus' home. He and Buffy are still damp from all the rain they encountered when she was trying to drag him out of the woods and back inside the school, where they just returned from.

"TJ, the guy _still_ hasn't said anything. I say we just go to the seven eleven and see if he's there." She suggests.

"Hi kids," Lori greets them when they enter the kitchen. "How was the sleepover last night?"

"Mom, we went over this-they're not 'sleepovers.'" Cyrus reminds her.

"Then what are they, slumber parties?" She responds, making Buffy snicker.

"C'mon Cyrus, _where_ is it." TJ's not letting this go.

"Where's what?" Lori asks.

"My late vape."

"'What do you mean 'late', did you send one here?" She asks.

"He means 'late' as in dead." Buffy clarifies.

"Ah...Gotcha..."

"TJ, there's _no way_ you'll be able to fix it."

"Maybe he'll take it anyway! It's vintage. Could be worth a lot."

"It is _not!"_ Buffy cringes.

"Ohh, you mean the vape that was left on the floor the other night? I put it in the junk drawer." Lori remembers.

"'Junk drawer'- _what? Gosh!"_ TJ's unbelievably offended, walking over to the end of the counter across the room and opening it up.

There it sits, right on top of the pile of spare pens, rolls of scotch tape, and old birthday cards.

"I got it. _Buffy,_ let's go." He swipes it up and shuts the drawer.

"Where?" Her arms spread. "The DMV? Sounds like the better option." She stays blunt.

"What's going on, exactly?" Lori asks.

"This guy won't give TJ his license back unless he trades him for a vape." Cyrus answers.

"'Some guy'?" She frowns.

"Oh shit. I think he's trying to talk to me on Instagram." TJ had taken out his phone during this exchange of dialogue, now looking at his message request on the phone screen.

"Let me see." Buffy and Cyrus make their way behind him, peeking over his shoulders.

 **It's me, you want the address?** He had requested to send just six minutes ago.

TJ accepts it, typing and sending **how did you find my account?**

His response is spontaneously fast.

**Your name is TJ Kippen. You weren't very hard to find.**

TJ frowns at that.

"I mean it's true," Cyrus comments, getting himself shushed by him.

 **Whatever can I have the address?** He sends.

" _Wait. Click on his account."_ Buffy irritably demands.

TJ obeys.

It says his name is Jeffery Sanderson, and his bio says:

**Fishing**

**The lord**

**711**

And his feed consists of pictures of fish, his farm, and his grandkids.

" _Ew..."_ Buffy concludes.

"He has a _farm_ , he can't be _that_ bad." TJ clicks on his newly sent message.

"That does _not_ look familiar. Google it." Buffy reads it over with them.

"He works at a strip club...?" Cyrus asks after the address was searched after being copied and pasted.

"Oh yeah, I've passed that place before." TJ recalls.

 **We'll be there.** He texts him.

"By ' _we'll_ ' I hope you mean you and _Cyrus._ " Buffy sasses.

" _Pffft._ No _way_ dude, Jonah's on his way to pick me up!" He reminds.

He shows up at the perfect timing. "Come in!" Cyrus allows, and they all greet Jonah more politely than usual as he walks into the room.

It's easy to see that he's been exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

"How was the ride up?" TJ asks.

"Okay." It wasn't like the one before, but that doesn't mean he'll talk about it. "Uh, you gonna meet that guy?" He brings up.

"Yeah, turns out his second place of employment is at a strip club." TJ's tone is nonchalant.

"Oh, well—do you have the vape to give him?"

"My vintage one, yes."

"It's not _vintage_. It's _broken."_ Buffy asserts.

"Wait, the one that got _shot?"_ Jonah just notices, cringing down at it.

"You _still_ can't find the other one?"

"No, we tried looking in the woods." TJ answers.

"Yeah I can tell, uh," Jonah looks to Cyrus. "You sure you wanna go with me?" He checks.

"Yeah, of course, is your Mom going?" Cyrus  was hesitant to ask.

"No, she's AWOL." Jonah's tone is heavily petty, his eyebrows sharply raised on the face of his that's broken eye contact from them and now scowls into space.

"What...?" Buffy asks, Cyrus frowning and walking up to him. Lori and TJ are gazing to him in concern, waiting for a continuation.

"How do you know..." Cyrus turns cautious.

"Called my Dad." Jonah looks to him. "Said she left last night and hasn't made any contact..." It pains him to say.

"Do you want me to talk to him? Do you guys need anything?" Lori begins to offer.

"Oh, no, no, don't worry about it." Jonah responds in an instant. "Thank you though..."

"I hope your appointment goes well..." TJ's still struggling to process the information.

"Thanks. I hope your—'meeting', goes well." Jonah's brow furrows at the thought.

"If we don't come back alive it's his fault." Buffy blatantly asserts.

" _Guys. Shut up._ Jonah doesn't need you overdramatizing your ' _problems'._ " Cyrus retorts, and TJ's mouth falls open.

"Well _excuse me!_ Let's go Buffy." He grabs her by the wrist, clutching the crippled vape inside his fist.

"When you need us to save you, can it be after the doctor's?" Jonah teases.

" _Psh. Ha. Right._ We got this, right Buffy?" TJ gives her a hard pat on the back.

"Let's just _go_ before I change my mind."

"I driving?"

"Not without your _license_ you're not."

"Kids, um, I know it's none of my business, but, are you sure you should be doing this...?" Lori recoils.

" _No,"_

_"Yes."_

Buffy and TJ answer at the exact same time. Buffy scowls at him. It grows surprisingly quiet.

"Good luck buddy." TJ pats Jonah's back when walking past him, Buffy giving him a warm smile and long hug before dragging herself along.

"Have fun..." Cyrus calls out timidly.

" _Aye."_ TJ raises his fist in the air.

" _Ugh."_ Buffy stays sour.

They exit the home.

"Are they okay...?" Lori asks the remaining two.

"They'll be fine." Cyrus steps beside Jonah and places his arm around him.

"Would you like me to drive you?" She offers.

Jonah fakes a smile. "That's okay. Thank you, Lori."

"C'mere. Both of you."

Cyrus takes away his arm so they can both step towards her, Lori hugging them both for an equal amount of time.

"Love you boys." She lets Jonah go. "Text me when you're there and when you're leaving, okay? Jonah I can always pick up your medicine for you." She informs him.

"I'd have to give you the money, first."

" _No,_ you wouldn't." She responds in a smile, Jonah scoffing before Cyrus makes sure he stands beside him.

"You ready?" He squeezes his hand.

"Yup." He thinks so.

"Call me if you need anything." Lori advises as they turn around and make their way towards the door.

"Gotcha." Cyrus answers, sensing her stare targeted in their direction all the way out onto the porch.

"Thank you, for joining me. I can't thank you enough." Jonah remembers to say before Cyrus walks down the first step.

Facing him, Cyrus grabs onto his other hand.

"I can't thank _you_ enough."

Jonah smiles so hard that it almost hurts.

He lifts up his chin and pecks him strongly on the lips.

"Love you."

"Love _you._ "

Giggling, Jonah lets go of Cyrus' other hand and and taking him by the other.

He may not know exactly what he's walking into, but what he does know is that he might have never been able to without Cyrus by his side to remind him of all that is good.

 

He's been weighed, measured, and now, for the scary part: the revelation of his blood pressure.

"One twenty over eighty."

"What the fuck?" He doesn’t believe it, seated on the medical examination table; being glared at by Cyrus who stands to his left with his hand comfortingly grasped on Jonah's shoulder.

"Sorry, uh," he sees the nurse's eyebrows arch up.

"It's just I expected it to be—much higher."

Cyrus nods in agreement.

"Consider yourself lucky. She'll be right with you, Jonah." She smiles to him, typing in the last of her information on the computer and exiting the room.

Jonah returns Cyrus' grin.

"You okay there?" Cyrus teases.

"Yeah." Jonah smiles off in hesitance.

"She's a good doctor." Cyrus reminds, taking a hold of his shoulders. Jonah smiles and resumes eye contact.

"I'm gonna miss her." He's not going to have her for much longer.

"Mm. Me too. You think she'll remember me?" Cyrus goofily grins.

Five years ago he tagged along with Jonah for a physical, where he got to meet her before having to leave the room, and Jonah's updated her about him every visit since.

"She's gonna _have_ to, I remind her of your existence every time I'm here," Jonah has him continue to smile.

"Really?" Cyrus is flattered, bringing on Jonah's charming smirk. "Yeah!"

Because how could he not.

 

TJ had to pull Buffy into the strip club with him by force.

"Don't _touch me."_ She smacks his arm away. "I'll bite you."

" _Alright, alright, God, calm down."_ The late vape remains clenched in his right fist.

"Do you see him?" Buffy looks around impatiently.

"No, but I see _them,_ " TJ eyes the group of women all pole dancing on stage.

Buffy smacks the side of his head.

" _Owe!"_

"Start thinking with your _brain_ and not with your _dick."_ She's never been this upright.

"Too late..."

" _Agh..."_ she shields her eyes away from his boner.

"You two!" The one and only calls out, approaching over skeptically.

"Is it gone?" Buffy asks TJ.

"Not really."

Buffy groans and opens her eyes anyway.

"You made it." Jeffery greets them.

"Yeah. Cool. Can he just have his license back?" Buffy just wants to get the hell out of here.

"Depends. Where's my vape?"

"Right here." TJ holds it up to him.

He frowns. "Oh, wow, uh...Vintage..."

" _See?!"_ TJ smiles to Buffy.

"Let me just add this my collection, and I can send you guys on your way."

"Ah _Jesus."_ Buffy cringes as TJ's lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning.

" _Oh my God. This is the best day ever."_

"Your vape collection is _here?"_ Buffy hasn’t stopped cringing.

"Yeah. In my office. I work out all the finances."

"Your mother must be so proud." Buffy deadpans.

TJ nudges her ankle with his foot.

"Lead the way." He offers.

"Yeah, I'm waiting in the car." Buffy declares.

" _No_ you're not, c'mon." TJ takes her by the arm, which Buffy breaks from his hold threatens to hurt him with.

Just when Jeffery was about to make the mistake of asking whether or not they're a couple.

 

"So what made you decide to go on medication all these years after your diagnosis? If you don't mind me asking." Doctor Lemaster is wondering to Jonah, standing across from him and Cyrus who remain in their same places.

"I guess I just kinda reached my breaking point..." Jonah admits, Cyrus squeezing his shoulder in support.

"What do you recommend for someone that's just starting out?" Cyrus asks her.

"First I should let you know that we always start people beginning a medication out on a minimum of fifteen milligrams."

" _Just_ —fifteen?" Jonah grows concerned.

"It's a starting dose. We eventually move it up if necessary. It's only safe."

"Realistically, how many milligrams could I take?"

"I'm gonna suggest Zoloft. There's two hundred in each pill. I have people your age on that exact dose. But it took years for some to come to that conclusion."

"You can't like, get high off the pill, right?" Jonah skeptically checks.

"He's scared he'll become overly reliant." Cyrus clarifies.

"Not to worry about that. You cannot. It's impossible."

"But what if I become addicted to how it makes me _feel...?"_ That's Jonah's second worry.

"That's mainly a problem with pills treating for physical pain."

"Like pain killers..." Jonah's heart thumps. "Your Mom." She recalls.

"Yeah...She's not doing too good." Jonah reveals, being gazed at by Cyrus who's more than proud that he's explaining things.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is that why you're asking about the over reliance?"

Code for 'potential addiction.'

"Yeah..."

"Well I can assure you that worst thing that could happen with these is that they don't work. _Or_ you experience one of the _really_ peculiar and dangerous side effects."

" _What...?_ "

"Not that you _will._ Just the moderate ones." Lemaster waves her hands in alert.

"Speaking of those," Cyrus brings up.

"Oh, the usual. Could make you sleep a lot, maybe some insomnia. Not that there's no in-between. Dry mouth, weight loss. Nervousness."

"Wait." Now Jonah's incredibly concerned. "Isn't that what the medication is supposed to be, _treating...?"_

Cyrus puts his arm around him.

"Yes, I know, it's uh, sadly ironic-but, remember: they're only side effects. I like to think of it as the starting point. Better something than nothing at all. Unless it's a _really_ hazardous side effect. Which won't happen though I promise." She clears up, Cyrus beaming at Jonah's giggle.

"So, Zoloft?" He assumes.

"Want me to order it in?"

Cyrus grins.

"That would be lovely, thank you." Jonah smiles to her. She has him confirm the location of his local pharmacy the way to her computer.

"How will I know when it's ready?"

"If you give me your mobile number, they'll inform you right when it's available."

He does just that, unable to ignore the relentless way Cyrus is looking at him.

"And put Cyrus' too, I guess." He pretends to sound unimpressed.

Cyrus cackles, telling Lemaster his cellphone number with no hesitance and all pride.

"Be right back." She leaves the room feeling rather content, but not as much as Cyrus.

"Cyrus?" Jonah takes a good look at him glancing away and hiding his face.

"What, what."

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not, shut up."Cyrus smiles to him with tears dripping out of his eyes.

Jonah giggles and brings him in close. "C'mere." He kisses his cheek and leans against him.

"Don't tell TJ and Buffy you're my favorite."

Cyrus beams.

"You think they're okay?" Jonah brings up.

"Eh, they're fine. They would have called by now."

 

Turns out there _was_ no vape collection, Jeffery wants nothing to do with the late vape, and his idea of revenge is to tie the two of them up together and leave them in his office until 'he gets what he wants.'

"Hey! C'mon, let us go, we can work something out!"

They sit back to back in the wooden chairs that have been tied together with the rope from his trunk, and duct taped to the floor with the tape from his desk.

"TJ I hate you." Buffy considers it a good thing that they can't look at one another.

"Oh yeah. _Turn on me_ at a time like this, will you." He resumes to try and twist and turn his way out.

"Would you quit moving around?" She snaps.

"It's not _my_ fault we're tied up together!" He claims.

" _Yes it is!"_

"Okay _fine it is._ How can I make it up to you _after_ we get out of this. Never mind don't answer that." He knows she's going to say something mean.

Jeffery comes walking back in, turning them both stiff with mouths kept right shut.

“Will you two quit arguing? The strippers are gonna hear, ya know.”

Buffy rolls her eyes.

“Don’t _roll your eyes at me.”_ He takes one step forward, leading TJ into a frenzy.

“ _Stay back!_ I will _not_ hesitate to murder you.”

“Yes he will...!” Buffy turns anxiously uneasy.

“If you give us our phones, _maybe_ we can call someone and help you get what you _want??”_ TJ doesn’t see why he had to turn to such extreme measures.

“I’m _thinking about it.”_

“Buffy you’re right this was a bad idea.” TJ says to her.

“ _Oh-“_ She rolls her eyes yet again, both cringing and shaking her head.

It’s no secret that she’s aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeee I love writing this. Request more prompts so I don’t run out of material! (Not that I’d run out of ideas without them, but the prompts make it much more fun)  
> List one:   
> https://www.google.com/amp/s/hellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/amp  
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 71.  
> 46.  
> 48.  
> 49.  
> 59\. 
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 17.  
> 82.
> 
> List two:   
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 3.  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 18.  
> 19.  
> 24.  
> 33.  
> 71.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 21.  
> 53.  
> 72.  
> 79.  
> 112.  
> 113.
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah


	7. Welcome To The Greatest Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus and Jonah have to save TJ and Buffy from the evil vape man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the last part is a bit smutty but if you squint it’s funny and they’re 18+ so I can do what I want
> 
>  
> 
> List one:   
> https://whellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/ww.google.com/amp/s/160523410875/angstfluff-pro160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/mpt-list/amp
> 
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 46.  
> 48.  
> 49.  
> 71.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 7.  
> 17.  
> 82.  
> 95.
> 
> List two:   
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 18.  
> 19.  
> 24.  
> 33.  
> 53.  
> 71.  
> 72.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 21.  
> 79.  
> 112.  
> 113.  
> 154.
> 
>  
> 
> Request available prompts in the comments below or my tumblr @heyoricohannah <3 (the story might be cancelled if you don’t)

They've barely completed their walk to the car, and Cyrus is already all over him now that there's officially no one around.

"I'm proud of you and you should be too." His arms go around Jonah's waist as he triggers the honk of the car with his keys.

"Mmm." He giggles in slight denial. "Thank you." Continuing to walk, he brings Cyrus to his side and sets around him his arm.

"Thank you, for coming." He looks down to the pavement because saying this face to face would be too painful.

"When my Mom couldn't..." He's already begun crying. His arm loosely slides down against Cyrus' back and is brought back to his side. Right now it's almost like he doesn't deserve his touch.

He’s crying to the ground, standing in place, and the worst part is he feels like he'll never bring himself to move again. He knew there would be numbness on the inside, but he wasn't thinking he'd be going into shock. The tears in his eyes still, now that his face hasn't bothered to move.

"Jonah it's gonna be okay-"

Cyrus' words recharge him like neither can believe.

"You don't _know that,_ okay?! _N-no one! Knows that!_ " Stomping right across from him, his tears are back in full effect.

"Okay sh-she's-"

"I'm right here and want you to _know_ that." Cyrus takes ahold of Jonah's shoulders and enforces eye contact.

"No one deserves this _less_ than you do. Please just know that—" he's growing choked up.

" _Always._ Okay, I will _always_ be here with you-"

"No you _won't!_ " Jonah cries harder. "'Cause you're gonna away you're _all_ gonna go away!" He's almost turning himself ill. "And my Mom's not gonna be here either!"

"Jonah, people with addictions relapse time and time again. This is the first time-"

"Oh so it's just gonna keep going and going until she _dies?_! Is _that_ how this works?!" Jonah's terrified for this to be reoccurring throughout the rest of his life. He could barely handle it the first time.

"I don't _know_." Cyrus keeps his voice firmly calm. "I wish I knew Jonah I wish I did..." His voice cracks with emotion.

On his face shines tears of his own. "I'll help you in any way possible. I promise-"

"No, okay, _stop_ _that._ You're not _dropping everything_ for me." This is the issue Jonah has always had.

"I _shouldn't_ be the main priority in your life, Cyrus. Take care of _you._ Let me care for _you_ for once-"

"Taking care of you _is_ how I take care of me!" Cyrus hollers. He sets his arms to his sides and takes a step back.

"By making sure you're _okay_ because that's all I ever want you to _be!_ You never think you're good enough for peoples' care Jonah but you _are._ What you want me to _stop_ checking up on you? You want me to _stop_ committing myself to you like any normal significant other _would?!_ "

He scowls at Jonah's worsened expression.

"I didn't _say_ that...!" As if he didn’t feel more alreadyhelpless. The shrinkage in his voice leaves Cyrus' heart hammering.

"I feel like I just bring so much unneeded chaos into your life, and, it's not what you need..."

" _You're_ what I need, Jonah." Cyrus wipes away a few fresh tears. "I need you and _everything_ that comes along with you. Including things like this."

 Jonah might as well just throw himself to the ground. Holy _shit_ , does he feel undeserving of someone like this. Except that's just the anxiety controlling him how it wants.

"Cyrus, I feel like you deserve _so much_ better than what I am."

"We deserve each _other,_ remember?" Cyrus touches Jonah's intertwined hands. "I've wanted all of you since seventh grade, and that hasn’t changed."

"That's the _thing_. Th-that's exactly how _I_ feel but I'm so _bad_ at saying things and..." The guilt has him proceed to cry.

"And I'm _sorry_. I'm so sorry I've been so caught up in my own head-"

"Jonah never think that I would feel like you don't love me. I _know_ you do. You've been preoccupied-"

"That's exactly _it,_ though!" Now Jonah's sobbing to the point of almost slinking to the ground. They really should have waited until they were in the car to do this.

" _You've_ been preoccupied too because of-" he pants in-between his next set of words, growing still his way to the ground, his knees almost kneeling halfway against the pavement.

"'Cause-a me, though, and it's _always_ me!" The way his voice breaks and scratches is almost insufferable to listen to. It's the hardest thing Cyrus has ever had to hear.To look at, even. Jonah in a state such as this. He hasn't been this broken since the last time these kinds of things were happening.

Almost too afraid to let himself speak, he simply brings Jonah back up so he can face him directly, wiping his tears even when Jonah's eyes can't bare to look into his.

"We're okay. You're not losin' me. Only if you want me to go-"

" _No._ " This gets Jonah to look at him with sorrow like he's never seen.

"I could _never_...Want you gone. _Ever_. But I understand—if this has made you maybe...Maybe wanna leave-"

Cyrus forcefully cuts him off. "You think I have it in my heart to leave you?"

"My insecurities do..." Jonah brings himself to say it. "A-and I know it's bullshit, because, 'cause you're so _pure_ , and...I just want to be good to you." It's Jonah's biggest worry that he's not giving Cyrus the same amount of loyalty. "And good _for_ you."

"These things don't make you a struggle or burden to be around. It only hurts to see how much you're going through. I know you'd respond the same way if these were things I was going through." Cyrus steps over and caresses a finger down Jonah's left cheek.

"I-I just want to be supportive in every way that I can-"

"You _are_. You _have been_ ever since I've known you. You don't give yourself enough credit." He finishes saying this as Jonah takes his hands.

“You have been too. And I love you for that. Not just for that. For _so_ many other reasons. Y-you know that, right?" Jonah panics that some of him doesn't.

"I'd be a fool not to." Cyrus pulls him closer. Jonah's giggle is insanely refreshing for the both of them, and for Jonah it brings on a new  kind of tears. Sometimes after having episodes like these, it warms him so much to smile or laugh again because it's something he never thought he'd proceed to experience.

"I love you, Cyrus. I love you and I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be. And-and I'm hoping these meds can change something in me. For the better." Jonah speaks in a civil manner, getting Cyrus to greatly smile.

"I wish I couldn't tell you that this is going to keep happen...But it will." It saddens him to say.

"But I'll be helping you. Every time."

Jonah leans in and cups his face. "Let me know if you start feeling the way I just did. I'll do anything I can to help you feel okay. After all, I have been learning from the best."

Cyrus chuckles. "You make me feel...Fully, content. And I wish your anxiety didn't keep you back from feeling the same."

All his life, it's been a rarity for Jonah to ever really enjoy himself. Even during his best times with Cyrus, because compared to him he feels astoundingly un-special.

Compared to everyone.

Everyone stands out in these unique ways and here he is barely surviving college and with six years of an anxiety diagnoses under his belt, who's only going on meds now because he didn't want to risk them destroying his life. Which still has a teeny tiny possibility of actually happening.

While all of that may be true, he's so much more than that. Which is something he would _love_ to start believing. Cyrus knows it, and he knows a small part of Jonah does to.

If Cyrus can happen to him, so can something just as great.

But never greater.

"You make it possible." He strokes the other boy's hair. "I'm sorry I flipped out on you."

"You kinda needed to, hm?" Cyrus' smirk resumes Jonah's giggling and has his hands move down his cheeks and to the back of his neck.

"Yeah, probably." Jonah knows everything happens for a reason, but living with all these incidents has never been fun.

His fingers trail down the sides of Cyrus' neck and up into the hair behind his ears.

"Finish this in the car?"

"You okay to drive?"

"Are _you_ okay to drive?" Jonah teasingly smirks.

"No."

"Didn't think so."

Smiling at Cyrus' fits of giggles, Jonah slides one hand off the side of his neck, and uses the other to lead him to the car.

"You got this, remember?" Reaching the vehicle, Cyrus lifts Jonah up and holds him down onto the hood.

Chortling with the help of a momentous smile, Jonah rests the back of his head on top of the windshield, dangling his calves above the pavement.

"Sure." He grins.

Cyrus scoffs at his doubt. "You _do._ You're mine. That didn't sound creepy, did it?" Cyrus asks him, making Jonah laugh and gaze up to the sky.

"No, because I am yours." He says to him. "I'm yours, in every way possible."

"Touché." Cyrus helps him off and brings them closer together, earning himself a peck on the lips.

"I love you." Jonah says, returning his hands back to behind his neck.

"Mmm, me at you."

" _Stop._ "

This exchange has them laugh their way into the car, Jonah firmly gasping from the driver's seat and feeling inside his right pocket.

"Jesus..." He takes out the keys that for a second he thought had been lost. Cyrus carefully observes the tension Jonah brings on himself.

"Hey." He strokes back a strand of Jonah's hair before he can finish finish turning them into the ignition. Jonah lets them go and gives Cyrus all the attention.

"Maybe you should wait a few minutes..." Cyrus murmurs on his way in to kiss him, shutting his eyes and helping him slow things down.

It takes maybe thirty seconds, but soon enough the pants they sound turn heavy, their kisses becoming stronger; electricity all of a sudden intensely increasing.

After a few more back and forth, Cyrus is able to take a deep breath as Jonah kisses down his neck.

"I feel like we're,"

Body flinching and mouth gaping in pleasure, he almost forgets to finish what was going to be said.

"I feel like we're forgetting something."

"To go to the backseat?" Jonah shuts him up by bringing him in for more and lasting them a few more more seconds until they're breaking apart in shocked realization.

" _TJ."_ They exclaim together, and Jonah can't start the car fast enough.

 

" _Neither_ of them are picking up." Cyrus tells him in a panic, bringing down his phone and looking to Jonah who's been driving for two minutes in a direction he doesn't even know if he's supposed to be heading.

"Where am I going again?" This is only making more nervous.

"I'll read you the directions." Reading over them, Cyrus had pulled them up on his phone.

"Can't we just-"

"Make a left up here." Cyrus guides him. "And then you're gonna turn onto Stein road."

"Where is this place again?" Jonah's completely blanked out on the specific location, and Cyrus doesn't really know if it's something he wants to remind him of.

"It's right near the pharmacy, actually."

"Okay. I know where I'm going, now." Jonah's pretty sure. "Try them again."

Unfortunately for them all, Buffy and TJ's phones are still locked inside the desk drawer.

"Let us _go_ you hooligan!" TJ yells to Jeff who still blocks the door with crossed arms, TJ again struggling to wiggle free.

"That might be my Mom calling and she gets _really_ worried about me!"

" _How_ are we supposed to compromise with you if we're tied up??" Buffy scowls Jeff's way. 

“You don't."

"So _untie us._ " It's insisted simultaneously.

"I'm thinking about it."

"You've been _saying that_ for the last twenty minutes!" Buffy yells.

"Cyrus saw the address of the location. Maybe he remembers it and he and Jonah are coming for us...!" TJ hopes.

"Doubt it, they're really consumed with getting Jonah's meds."

"Whoa whoa _whoa,_ " Jeff holds up a hand in firm alert.

"While we're on the subject, what kinda meds we talking?"

"Jeff, I'm serious. _Don't_ make me scream." This almost sends Buffy to her breaking point, and it won't be long until she's there.

Meanwhile, TJ's pretty sure the tightness of all this rope is robbing him of all circulation.

 

"Turn in here!"

Jonah wasn't expecting Cyrus to say _that_ when they were approaching the one and only strip club he had completely forgotten was right by his pharmacy, so his tires screech just a bit when lurches in with no time to switch on his blinker.

"What-"

He assumes it's the mattress store across the lot.

"Park there." Cyrus points next to Buffy's car just before the sidewalk of the strip club's property.

Jonah does as told, and once the car is off, Cyrus is pulling him out of the vehicle and inside the place Jonah was hoping to avoid.

"Why are we at a strip club?" Feeling both mentally and sexually intimidated, Jonah hesitantly looks around.

"Because that's where they agreed to meet the guy!"

"And not the mattress store??" At least that would have made some more sense. They’re badically drug rings in disguise. 

Jonah had completely forgotten about them mentioning that.

"Excuse me! Hi." Cyrus waves his arms over to the girls occupied with dancing on stage.

A few of them stop and frown.

Jonah's doing his best not to chortle or stare too much. Neither is working.

"Uh, not meaning to interrupt but do you know if a white boy and black girl are still here? Or if you saw them come in here..." He takes out a dollar from his wallet.

"Make that a twenty." One stripper notices.

" _Here,"_ Jonah rolls his eyes, stepping closer to the stage and handing her the exact bill from the wallet of his own.

She smiles seductively when slowly taking it from his hand.

Cyrus grows offended on his own behalf.

"Would you just _tell us_ already." He snaps, as Jonah tenderly feels his touched hand and tries to come out of his shock.

"They went in there with the finance guy." This same stripper points to the door in the room's far left corner.

Turns out, Jeff didn't even bother to lock it. He's practically knocked down to the floor when they come barging in.

"What the _hell?"_ Cyrus asks to the sight of Buffy and TJ tied up, Jonah sighing in relief at the looks of them being okay but still cringing.

"I _told_ you they'd come for us!" TJ insists to Buffy.

" _Why_ are they tied up..." Jonah asks.

"'Cause the vape they gave me was a piece of _shit, that's_ why!" Jeff exclaims.

"Oh my _God_ dude can't you just get your _own_ vape?" Jonah stresses.

"You think I can afford one??"

"You have _two jobs!"_

" _What's_ it gonna take for you to let them go. What-you want _us_ to get you one?" Cyrus tries to not sound too irritable.

"But the vaporium is all the way across town." TJ brings up.

Buffy cringes. "'Vap _orium_ '..." She almost develops a headache.

"Depends. Any of you guys got anything _else_ I can appreciate?" Jeff stares them each down boldly.

"Ooh! I have the Greatest Showman soundtrack in my car." TJ brainstorms.

"Is it _signed?_ "

"No..."

"Then _no!"_

"Oh _this is fucking ridiculous I'm calling the-"_

"Wait!" Jonah stops Cyrus from finishing.

" _They_ have Red Bull in the back of their car." Pointing to Buffy and TJ, Jonah distinctively remembers walking past the car's back door on the way in here and seeing the two open twelve packs each filled halfway.

" _What? N-!"_

Jonah has to stop TJ's stubborn decline by flashing over and stomping on his foot.

" _Owe!"_

"Ooh. I like that..." Rubbing his chin, Jeff carefully thinks about it.

Buffy groans and rolls her eyes. "Just _take the keys_ out of TJ's pants pocket and go get it for him..."

Jonah finds the keys, and he and Cyrus have to be as quick as they can.

"Hold on a second. It's the _regular_ kind?" Jeff asks them, when Cyrus and Jonah have brought in the packs that each have a remainder of four drinks.

"Oh, _come the fuck on!_ " Jonah snaps, causing everyone in the room to look at him.

"Jonah-" Cyrus tries.

" _No!_ Okay, I am _tired_ -of dealing with this _bullshit. Some_ people have _real problems,_ ya know." Jonah snaps directly to Jeff.

"The _rest of us here_ have  _real shit_ to get back to in our _every day lives."_

"Jonah..." Cyrus keeps trying to alert him of the text he's received on his phone he's holding for him.

"Not this stupid _vape bullshit,"_

TJ gasps in offense.

"I mean _seriously TJ_ you and Buffy are _tied up._ " He motions to them.

"Jonah." Cyrus tries again.

"I think we can _all agree,_ that this is the _last shit_ we need to be _dealing with!"_

" _Jonah!"_

 _"What?!"_ He faces Cyrus.

"Your meds are ready..." He holds up Jonah's phone containing a text from his pharmacy informing him that his Zoloft is ready for pickup.

"Oh...That was fast."

"Sounds like you _need_ 'em." Jeff comments.

"Would you _shut the fuck up?!_ " Jonah shouts.

TJ and Buffy would look to each other in concern if it were currently possible.

"How about this." Jeff starts. " _I_ take the Red Bull, and as an apology, I let you two have future Red Bull from my 7/11 for free. But just you guys. And nothing else." He compromises to his main victims.

TJ gasps, this time in excited honor. "Sweet."

" _Cool whatever_ can you just give him his license back and let us go?!" Buffy screams to Jeff.

He finally listens, and the moment TJ has his identification back after he and Buffy are let loose, the four of them make a run for it.

"Bye gorgeous!" The same stripper that made Cyrus pay her twenty dollars yells out to Jonah, seeing him and the others on their way out over to do the door.

"Bye." Thinking she's talking to him, TJ spins around and waves to her.

" _Come on!"_ Buffy groans, pulling him out the door and over to the others.

Without discussing much of what the hell just happened, Cyrus and Jonah go to the pharmacy down the road, and TJ drives Buffy home with his windows down and The Greatest Showman soundtrack blasting at full volume.

"Where were you?" Her mother asks her once she's walked through the door.

"Long story. I hate my friends." Buffy goes upstairs and locks herself inside her bedroom to call Andi about all the bullshit.

Jonah and Cyrus pick up the meds, Jonah not wanting to take his first dose until he's back home with Cyrus and his father, who he knows is in need of some comforting considering his wife's shenanigans.

"Got the goodies." With Cyrus behind him, Jonah tosses the bag to Christian after spotting him in the kitchen of their house and grabbing his attention.

Scoffing, Christian takes out the information pamphlet and opens it up. "Take it yet?"

"Nah."

"Wanna start tonight or tomorrow morning?" Christian reads over all the side effects.

"Tonight." Jonah answers, being tossed the bottle.

"You got class?"

"Yeah in like an hour and ten minutes..." Jonah's thinking of bringing up the elephant in the room, or more like who's not in it.

"Have you heard from Mom..."

The suspense is contagious. Cyrus gazes to both of them with sore eyes.

Jonah can notice the brutal transition in the ones of his Dad's.

"No...That's why I'm gonna go out and look for her."

"Oh..." Jonah's scared of what he might find. It brings back memories of what he'd like to forget. Years before this, whenever Christian would go out by himself in the hopes of finding her, Jonah would fear that he wouldn't come back either, and that he'd end up losing both of them. Christian always came back. And eventually, Julia did too. The only difference now is that she's left them again. That, and how neither Christian, Jonah, or anyone around them in the know wishes to not be consumed with this yet again.

When it comes to the ones closest to her, acknowledgement of the situation is hard enough on its own.

"I shouldn't be long. I'll be back before you leave. Call me if you have any concerns with those." Christian points to Jonah's pills,receiving only a simple nod in return.

"If she comes back here, I don't think you should either. Keep those in a safe place."

Jonah's pupils shrink at the thought of such things.

As far as he's concerned, if she ends up coming back and sticking around for the worst, campus is suddenly his new home.

"Okay..." His voice is small.

Christian gives Jonah a tight squeeze, and pats Cyrus' shoulder when thanking him for all his cooperation.

After he's gone, Cyrus breaks the pregnant silence by asking Jonah what he'd like to wash down his dose with.

To keep it safe, he goes with water.

 

"Jonah _how_ come your bed at home is never made..." Now entering alongside him into his bedroom, Cyrus sits down on it anyway; mattress half bare with the sheets, blanket, and mattress pad all sprawled around, most of which is hanging off the bed and on the floor.

"Because bisexuals don't know how to make their beds." Jonah smiles cheekily, plopping down next to him and putting his glass of water off to the side onto his next door miniature cabinet.

Cyrus is always a sucker for a good bi joke.

"How do you feel." He places a hand on Jonah's back.

"I dunno. I'm kinda scared to be alone when it kicks in. _If_ it kicks in..."

"Let's just worry about the side effects for now. O-or nothing at all..." Cyrus sees the puzzled look he's getting from him.

"I'm gonna look at them." Jonah takes out his phone and does just that.

"Oh _God..."_ He cringes at a few in particular.

"What is it?" Cyrus worries.

"'Decreased sex drive and inability to orgasm'. What the _hell?"_ Jonah doesn't want to believe what he's reading, whereas Cyrus thinks his response his insanely hilarious.

" _You won't be laughing when I'm never in the mood anymore!"_

Jonah's comment makes them both lose it.

"You won't be _wanting me_ anyway if I get a..." Jonah scrolls back up the list. "Skin rash." He frowns.

"It's okay, we'll get you ointment." Cyrus has them snicker.

"What are the other ones."

"The usual. Besides—" Jonah doesn't even want to read this one.

"'Abnormal ejaculation'."

"Well let me at least see _that,"_

This almost gets Cyrus pushed playfully to the floor.

"So I'm not gonna want sex _or_ food?" Jonah plops down against the mattress with a new outlook on the next few weeks.

"Welll..." Cyrus rests himself above him. "Just because you won't want to receive, doesn't mean you don't have to no longer give..." This is his way of requesting smaller favors along the way, and Jonah laughs so hard that it almost hurts.

"What, that funny?" Cyrus teases, kissing him tensely after lowering himself down before him

After this goes on for a few more seconds, Jonah detaches himself to stare up at the ceiling looking almost unsatisfied.

"Uh-oh, is it already happening?" Cyrus humors.

"What if nothing happens at all..." Jonah's letting it get to him again.

" _Or..._ What if this is the nervousness side effect?" Cyrus guesses, taking off his weight and sitting to next to him.

"Then that's really, _really_ stupid." Jonah's eyes remain in the same place.

"Yes, but..." Cyrus positions himself back on top of him. "It's _something_ ," he strokes the hair behind Jonah's right ear. "Remember you can always contact her." He means his doctor.

"I know...Not like she wants to be bothered with me..."

"If she wants to be bothered with anyone, I'm _sure_ it's you." Cyrus touches Jonah's face, which he didn't think would make his eyes widen and his arms pull him in closer so that their noses touch.

"They'll kick in." He almost forgets to add. Looking this closely into Jonah's eyes does a lot of things to him.

"But..."

Jonah can certainly tell which one hasn't taken affect yet, showing Cyrus for himself by pushing up against him.

It doesn't take them long to resume what they started back in the car, and soon enough Cyrus is fucking Jonah so hard that he pretty much forgets what he had been worrying about; untilit's brought back to him when he's lying next to him post high and half conscious.

The meds aren't a miracle worker, and since the sex drive decrease clearly hasn't taken any affect, Jonah begins contemplating if any of the effects will.

Again, hopefully it's just the nervousness doing its part.

Cyrus can sense his uncertainty, turning over and seeing how the muscles in Jonah's back have turned uptight.

He sits up best he can, leaving kisses down Jonah's skin for comfort, the unexpected contact making his breath shake.

"Hey" Cyrus whispers in response, grabbing him gently and turning him over in his direction.

" _Owe..."_ Jonah smiles cheekily, ignoring the fear that just took place throughout him.

"You okay?" Cyrus slides a finger down Jonah's right cheek.

"That's a _stupid_ question," he teases, his voice dry but his tone playful and his expression nothing but smug.

Despite his giggling, Cyrus still hopes that the outburst is still something Jonah can bring up.

"What was that, just there..." He would never want Jonah to distrust him over something as valuable as this.

"Guess it was just my body...Bracing for impact." Jonah grins, Cyrus' playful hum turning into giggles.

"Mm, we don't need you blacking out."

"Touché..." Jonah curls up against him and breathes against his chest.

As his fingers tangle inside Jonah's hair, Cyrus shifts up his body and faces the ceiling. It hurts to move but god is it a nice reminder of how great it was.

"Next time, make your bed." He teases, lighting up at the feeling of Jonah giggling against him.

"I love your heartbeat..." Jonah mutters, moving up his face and kissing the center of his heart.

Cyrus repeatedly chortles, smirking and resuming to feel throughout Jonah's hair.

"How long do you think we have till we gotta get up..." He questions.

"Not long. It's not like we took our time." Jonah considers, deciding to kiss all the way down his stomach as Cyrus begins to laugh.

He fakes a dramatic gasp. “Is that a rash?” He pokes at Jonah’s back, making him frantically feel around the same place and grimace to him with a smile just as Cyrus hits the back of his head against the head board from laughing so hard.

To shut him up, Jonah brings himself back to the place he was planning on overtaking.

Within a matter of seconds, those laughs of Cyrus’ come to an abrupt stop and change into something else.

As far as the both of them are concerned, the excuse that potential sex drive deprivation could strike for Jonah at any moment is _pretty_ logical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your feedback or perish


	8. Hammer To Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cyrus struggles to acknowledge that he’d rather face everyone else’s feelings besides his own. Jonah mistakingly lets down his guard, where as TJ starts to wonder whether he might be a legitimate vape addict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I’m on break I have lots of free time, so what better time to spend my freedom than pumping this out at lightniing speed?

Considering their states of presentation, Christian barging back into the house after they’ve taken two steps towards the exit isn’t what Cyrus and Jonah were hoping for.

The absence that comes along with him is both relieving and disheartening.

"Dad-"

"It's alright. She never went far, remember? She couldn't have gone far now."

Reminders of the last ordeal is never in Jonah's good favor, but maybe right now, it's what needs to be.

Hell, he blocked most of it out, and maybe remembering things will help him...Cope. He's more mature this time around, and comparing his strategies from then to now might just help him out a little. He's wiser, and he wants it to show through how he responds to all the things that will be showcased through this relapse of hers.

"Right...I'll try her again. Maybe her phone works."

"I just tried a few minutes ago. No answer."

"Then I'll try later."

This time, Jonah knows that negligence isn't the answer just yet. He would always grow torn between shunning her to show how betrayed he had felt, and sucking up to her because he feared if she felt too unloved she would do something terrible.

It was always a battle between the two. He never knew how much love or hate to put into their newfound relationship.

There would be times where Christian would kick her out onto the streets and Jonah didn't understand how such a thing could happen, but then would want nothing more than for her to be gone when Christian gave in and took her back.

That whole summer, _all_ Jonah wanted to do was just be away. He went to see relatives in Florida for one week , and was depressed for days when he returned home due to all the bullshit chaos he was already being sucked back into.

But when he finally stood his ground and told himself how grossly unhealthy it was for a kid as young as him to so desperately want to leave his own home, and how if anyone should have been leaving it should've been her, _God_ that felt good.

And now, it's nice to know that he has better solutions, and options. He's not a kid anymore, and even if things surrounding this grow more hectic than they did last time, he has _so_ much more freedom, and is still in the process of developing a much better perspective.

If there's anyone worth worrying about, it's no one other than his own Dad. The one who's had to face _all_ of this from the get-go.

"Should I...Should I not leave." He figures when Christian says nothing in response. It's in this moment when Jonah wants to drop everything and just start living off campus. He's close enough, _and_ it'll die down the payments. If things end up the way they did before, Lord knows they'll be struggling with finance.

"Maybe I should start working again-"

"Jonah don't get ahead of yourself." Christian is grim. "You have school to focus on. And mental health."

"I know..." He‘s aware to not to put up a fight.

"Good." The last thing either of them need is an unsettlement.

"Um, I can start the car if you guys need me to..." Cyrus figures their exchange would be better off without him here.

"Yeah." Glancing off, Jonah nods and hands him the keys.

"Don't ditch me, alright?" He kids with him on his way out, earning a quick smirk before Cyrus looks back in front of him and exits the home.

Jonah looks away from the door and over to the one in most need of his respondence.

"Call me when you drop him off. Then when you get there." This urgency isn't coming out of nowhere.

"Yeah. Of course." Jonah understands. "And hey. If you, need me, to be here..." He lays out his cards.

"The only place you need to be is away from this whole mess." Christian advises.

"And how long will that last?" Jonah can't help but sound petty.

"I'd tell you if I knew, Jonah..." He exhales. "You're not alone. _I'm_ not either." That last part he needs him to know. "Got it?"

"Got it..." Jonah idly looks off to the closest wall he can find.

"You take the pill?"

"Yeah I feel fine. Bottle’s in far left cabinet...” Jonah keeps away eye contact, folding together his hands.

"And things between you and Cyrus, they're fine?" He continues his check up.

"Yeah I'd tell you if they weren't." Jonah shrugs, managing to look him directly in the eye.

"You didn't submit him to that _disaster_ of a bed, did you?" Christian doesn't have to imply the matter of sex to mention the state that bed is in. Not that he hasn't been noticing their imperfect hair and strong overuse of cologne that just might be worse than the scent of sex itself.

He's not a fucking moron.

Jonah snickers. "You don't _have_ to keep it that way. I think you do out of spite." He teasingly gloats.

"Not for long," Christian gets him to giggle. "You making the right decisions?" This erases Jonah's smile and drains all color from his face.

"Yeah," he turns carelessly shallow.

"You know, _besides_ choosing to actually fix your bed before you roll around in it?"

"Witty. I'm leaving now."

Christian scoffs at Jonah's irritability sarcastic tone.

"Still love me?"

"Mm-hm." Jonah instinctively goes in for a hug, which Christian gladly accepts.

"Let me know when you're there." Christian reminds Jonah on his way out the door.

"Got it." This is their last exchange before he leaves the house, going down to the car and loudly knocking on the driver's side window where Cyrus proudly sits beside.

"Time's up" he smiles to him, lighting up at his smirk and making him unlock the door.

Cyrus smugly gets out and sits on the correct side, Jonah getting behind the wheel as he snickers at his pride.

"You didn't really have to leave, by the way." Shutting his door, he turns up the radio.

"All he did was ridicule me for letting us have sex in my bed."

"Sounds like I needed to be there." Cyrus' utter sarcasm leaves Jonah cackling, and the mention of these things has Cyrus lean over and repeatedly kiss the side of Jonah's neck.

"How much time do you think we'll have at my place..." He whispers into his skin, turning Jonah still and chuckling. "Mm, you're crazy."

"Time's a wastin'." Cyrus jokes around, moving away and staring directly at him.

"Maybe not..." Jonah smiles.

"Don't get your hopes up." He adds in a quick tease. "Seatbelt."

Cyrus smirks and does as reminded and watches him do the same, trying to get away with smuggling his hand onto his thigh for the majority of the ride.

 

Jonah's requested he walks Cyrus inside, purposely gripping both of his hands on their way up the lawn and scoffing at that cheeky look of his as they enter the front door, letting him greet Lori and David who are currently prepping dinner and now responding to their entrance.

"How'd it go?" Lori asks, seasoning in the frozen chicken cutlets on her cutting board and setting down the spice container.

"Good. I took my first pill and feel alright." Jonah remains honest.

"And where are they being kept?" David puts a stop to his salad mixing with the intent of focusing.

"In the kitchen cabinet at his Dad's." Cyrus answers.

"Do you not trust yourself around them by yourself?" Lori grows concerned.

"Oh, no, I do, it's just, you know—college." Jonah takes notice at how he and Cyrus still double hand holding and gently separates the contact.

"When does your class end?" He asks him. "Cyrus," Lori frowns at his obvious attempt to keep meeting up.

Jonah scoffs. "Like, eight, but my first one tomorrow is at seven, so." He smirks at his efforts, squeezing his hand when seeing his expression of defeat.

"Tomorrow night." He tests it out, and based on Cyrus' smile he figures it should work.

"Call us if you have any concerns. Oh and how did that thing with Buffy and TJ go?" Lori unexpectedly remembers.

"What thing." David asks.

"Oh, uh..." Cyrus wishes he knew how to start.

"Fine." He and Jonah claim in unison.

"What was it?" David asks.

"Oh, nothing, just a, a school thing. I'm gonna take off thanks again guys..." Jonah rushes out his words almost as fast as he rushes himself out of the house, Lori and David now both giving Cyrus skeptical looks.

"What—things are fine I swear..." He already feels misjudged.

"You _know_ you're not seein' him tonight, right?" Lori smiles.

"Yeah Cyrus, let the kid breathe. You saw the way he ran out, he's probably gotten sick of you." David's teasing brings a shocked smile to Cyrus' face and gets him grunting unintelligible disapproval.

Lori shakes her head at the intensity of David's laughter.

"You know who you should be seein'?" He brings up, already sending Cyrus into his zone of discomfort where he wishes to be anywhere but.

"Your mother."

"What do you mean, she's right there." He points to Lori, and while she appreciates the relationship that they share, she still scoffs and smiles to him with caution.

It's been years since Cyrus has talked to Harriet, and he really doesn't need an excuse to start to now.

"Why would I _talk_ to her if she doesn't want to talk to me."

"She _does_ want to talk to you. She tells me how _much_ she wants to talk to you, but that she feels too guilty to not leave you be."

"She _talks to you."_ Cyrus in no way believes that.

"Yes! About _you_ , and what how she wants to know what _you've_ been up to." David insists to him.

"Cool." Wanting no more of this, Cyrus leads his way into the next room and over to the staircase.

"I have last minute homework."

"I'm sure you do. Ya know, Jonah's been mentioning therapy and that doesn't sound like such a bad idea for you either." David pushes it on him, Lori glaring over in distaste and Cyrus flimsily excusing what he has to say.

"Yeah yeah." Like most nights at home, Cyrus locks himself inside his room and brings his feelings with him for them to never be acknowledged.

At least never by himself. He can’t handle that kind of psychological responsibility.

 

With Jonah's morning class being at not seven 'o clock, but nine, this gives him the advantage to pick up Cyrus and bring him to school, that is until after he once again gave into his anxieties about driving alone.

He would have let Jerome tag along if it wasn't for the scenario both he and Cyrus had in mind that's happening to be wrapping up right in the backseat of Jonah's car, to the sound of Grant High's warning bell coming from down the street.

If Jonah knew for sure this was going to be happening, he would have sucked up his worst case scenarios and gotten there a _lot_ sooner.

“Shit-" Cyrus' alert is interrupted by Jonah's rough goodbye kiss he makes sure will last with him for the rest of the day.

"I love you get going." He's almost too breathless to speak, chest moving up and down as he tries to get a hold of his breath.

"Gotta get off me first." Cyrus almost struggles to laugh, being joined by Jonah who sloppily pulls out of him and slides onto the seat beside him.

After getting dressed and catching his breath, Cyrus doodles a heart on the window nearest to them that's nothing but fogged.

Jonah almost chokes in the midst of his laughter.

"Dork."

"Mm, you gonna drive back like that, or...?" Cackling, Jonah picks up his clothes off the floor as Cyrus eyes him up and down.

"Maybe I should wait a few minutes." He says this while pulling up his boxers and bringing down his shirt over his head.

"I'm still a bit dazed."

"A 'bit'," Cyrus teases, temporarily connecting the tips of their index fingers and picking up his shoes.

Rather than putting them on then and there, he takes them with him on his barefoot jog to the high school's property and puts them on in the middle of the parking lot.

Curling up in the same spot where he's been left to recover, Jonah almost rolls into the mess that a part of him doesn't want to be cleaned.

After being sent a very picture of the sight while sitting in class, Cyrus swears he's created a monster.

And he is more than okay with that.

Because he's turned into one himself, he starts thinking about sneaking off to the bathroom and taking an extra good look before their teacher returns.

"Whoa-ho- _ho!_ Is that splooge?" TJ takes obnoxious notice, leaning over next to him and looking at the picture with a big smile on his phone just before Cyrus locks the screen.

" _Shut up."_ He whispers to him.

"I've always wanted to see other guys' splooge." TJ earnestly shares with him.

"TJ are you okay..." Cyrus asks with honestly.

"I don't think Buffy's talking to me, man. She's _really_ mad at me."

"Eh, she'll get over it. She always does." Cyrus brushes it off and goes back to Jonah's message. It's kind of hard to _get_ hard when TJ's lurking around.

"Is that Jonah's splooge? Did he jerk it?"

Cyrus turns his phone off after that.

 

During lunch time, as a way to win back Buffy's friendship, TJ approaches her’s, Andi’s, and Natalie's table with a container of red velvet cupcakes.

"What are those for..." Buffy asks him.

"I made you cupcakes 'cause I know you like them."

Andi and Natalie start discreetly snickering.

"You didn't _make those,_ you just bought them at the store!" Buffy hollers.

" _Did not!"_

"Then _why_ are they boxed up with a label?? And where _were you_ for the last fifteen minutes?" She demands.

"Did they work-? Oh." Cyrus comes joining them with his Harris Teeter bag being held in plain sight.

" _Cyrus!_ " Buffy exclaims.

"Oh _what do you want from me?!"_ TJ cries to her.

"To _stop vaping!"_

"You _know_ I can't do that Buffy! I'm already having withdrawals; I could eat all these cupcakes right here right now!"

The rest of them cringe at TJ's frazzling.

"Go _ahead,_ then!" She yells. "You know, maybe you should start thinking about the reason _why_ you vape so much."

"Ooh, that's true." Andi pipes in. "Maybe talk about it with the counselor."

"What? _No!_ I don't need professional help because of _vaping_. Right Cyrus?" He looks to him for back up.

"Eh, I dunno, man, it _sounds_ like a pretty good idea." He considers.

"And _you're_ a hypocrite!" Buffy calls him out.

"What? _Me?"_

" _Yes_ , you! For all you care everyone might as well go to therapy but _you_ because _you've_ always felt too good for it. Your parents are psychologists for crying out loud!"

"That's true too." Andi agrees.

"I am not _too good_ for therapy. I just don't need it." Cyrus breezily claims.

" _Ha!"_

Andi apologizes for cackling.

"Why not?" Natalie adds in her two cents. "Buffy's right, isn't your Mom some sort of shrink?" She mixes things up.

" _Ew,_ we don't talk about her." Cyrus cringes so hard that it almost hurts, Buffy and Andi both rolling their eyes.

"Well maybe you should talk about her to _someone_." Buffy asserts. "Jonah's open to the idea of going to therapy, why can't you be?"

"That was like _two days ago_ Jonah's probably forgotten all about that by now." Cyrus tries bullshitting his way out of it just as his phone goes off, coincidentally getting a text from Jonah himself that says **hey when u get a chance can u talk about therapist suggestions to your parents?**

Reading this makes Cyrus gawk, turning him both concerned and a little offended.

"Is it more splooge?" TJ _wonders_ quietly, making Cyrus realize how he really should have just stayed in the bathroom to create more splooge of his own. It’s more worth his time.

"I'll be right back."

After being put through that whole dialogue, he figures why not finish what he started.

"So can I sit with you guys are not?" TJ asks the girls after Cyrus is gone.

" _Fine_ ," Buffy decides, Natalie and Andi both giggling as TJ sits down right across from her with the case of cupcakes seated in his lap.

"So, if you're not gonna eat these, can we?" He figures.

"You're _kidding,_ right? After everything yesterday, I’d say I deserve one." She smiles to him.

"What happened yesterday?" Natalie asks, and Buffy rightfully assures that it's best she doesn't know.

As far as Buffy sees it, what Natalie doesn't know, _won't_ make her want to break off their friendship.

 

After the school day is done and over with, TJ returns home in a state of madness, his vape withdrawals driving him up the wall and making him crave an answer as to why he's truly the way he is.

He may not have gone to the school counselor, but his Mom should be good enough.

"Mom? Mom?!" He starts his search for her in the living room.

"TJ? Good, you're home." She enters from the kitchen. "Sit down. Mommy needs us to have a talk."

"Is it about why I'm such a vape addict?!"

"Goodness, no. Sit down."

Frowning at her obliviousness, TJ timidly sits across from her on the couch.

"We're having Thanksgiving early this year."

"What..." This is the last thing he needs to hear. "Why..." He'd almost rather not know.

"You know grandma?" She sounds as if he's never met the woman.

"Yeah, _so?_ " He proceeds frowning.

"Well, grandma's getting older, you see, and, she might not live long enough for us to have Thanksgiving with her in the nursing home. So we're thinking of bringing her here and making her think we're celebrating."

" _What?_ " He feels ridiculous for just hearing this.

“Mom, we think grandma's gonna die all the time. She never _does._ What makes you guys so sure this time. What, she sicker or something?" He figures.

"Aunt Sheila and Sharon just think it would be better to stay on the safe side." Mrs. Kippen brings up her sisters.

"Mom, what makes _this_ year any different. And it's Sep _tember_! _Where_ are we gonna get a turkey."

"That's why I've asked your father to take you hunting." She announces.

" _What? No!_ The guy barely pays child support! _Gross!_ " Cyrus and Jonah aren't the only ones that have issues with her parents.

"It's _just_ for one day. Oh, and since grandma's gonna be at dinner there will be _no_ vaping." She scolds.

"Mom, grandma's senile. She can barely even see."

" _Exactly!_ The last time you were vaping in front of her and she saw all the smoke, she thought there was a fire and could have had a panic attack."

"Mom, it's not _smoke_ it's _vapor._ " TJ doesn't know how many times they've gone over this.

"It's going to be next Saturday. I'll talk to your father before then."

"Grandma doesn't even _like_ me!"

"Then invite one of your friends! Invite Cyrus and Jonah. They're good boys." Getting up and patting his cheek, Mrs. Kippen shrugs it off and strolls into the other room.

"But...!"

Being ignored, TJ’s left alone and questioning how the hell his family is even like this.

And he thought _he_ was crazy? What, just because he happens to _vape? Often?_ Ex _tremely_ often? To the point where he's going to bust his head into a wall of he doesn't get his hands on one?

That's nothing compared to his relatives, and he's _not_ planning on sticking around to see everything-or more so everyone, unfold. From what he's experienced, _regular_ Thanksgiving is already _bad enough_ for them.

 

Because Jonah would rather play in traffic than drive alone at night, he accepts Jerome's offer to drive him to his house to take his next dose.

"Thanks for doing this..." He repeats to him on the way there.

"Totally. You're good. So everything's fine, so far?"

"Yeah, I think. Like I'm not cured or anything but I'm not overthinking so much." Jonah explains.

"Good. Your Dad there?"

"Nah, he's working but he knows we're stopping by. Come in if you want. You can see my bed that hasn't been made in six and a half years."

"Mm, that an offer?" Jerome kids around, and Jonah cackles at him as he turns up the radio.

"Do I even wanna see your _room?_ " Jerome smiles, cracking jokes with him the entire way along.

By then they're pretty sure they've gone randomly delirious.

"It's a kind of _ma_ gic," Jonah sings the opening line to the Queen song of the same name, the  both of them stepping out of the car that’s now parked in front of his home, laughing so hard at Jerome's muddled reaction that he struggles to continue snapping his fingers.

"We're seeing that, right?" Jonah brings up on their way up the porch step.

" _You're_ not. It's a queers only event. You'll be at home." Jonah's too busy laughing to question how they’re so easily able to get into the house, casually leading Jerome inside and taking him to the kitchen.

"Alright I see-"

"Oh my God."

The two of them stop short at the sight of the person Jonah's been both most and least wanting to see, who stops her search through the cabinets and notices them in an instant.

She gasps in pleasant surprise.

"Jonah, baby..." She whispers, and the closer she walks towards them the easier it is to tell that she's in no way sober.

"Mom-"

"Shhh..." She shushes him calmly, walking up and touching his face that he quickly pulls away from her, looking to Jerome in shame, who's already feeling enough secondhand embarrassment as it is.

"I don't even _wanna_ know what you're on. _Get out._ " Jonah speaks to her with a brutally fresh tone, struggling to stare right into her bloodshot eyes.

"This is _my_ house." Her personality does a three sixty at the exposure of his dominance.

"If it's _your_ house then why did you _leave."_   His demand leaves her speechless, he and Jerome hesitantly looking to each other during their time of silence that Julia has no problem putting to end.

"So I could come _back,_ "

She stomps back to where she stood, pulling out the bottle of Jonah's pills before he can adjust to the shock that came from his realization.

" _Mom_ ,"

She ignores the tightness in his voice and shamelessly walks past them.

" _Mom!"_ He has no choice but to follow her, Jerome uncomfortably trailing along.

"Give me the _goddamn pills,_ Mom!" He screams, running after her down the porch and blocking her way forward.

"What are you gonna _get outta those,_ huh?" He scowls, snatching the bottle from her which she's able to swipe away after he's completely turned his back.

" _Bitch!"_ He yells, stopping her from walking towards his car and spinning her right around. "It's _Zoloft_ , you _fuck!_ Ever bother to read the fucking _label-?!"_

" _Fine!"_ She breaks away and twists off the cap, tossing it to the ground.

" _Jesus_." Jerome steps out of the open doorway where he was waiting and debating whether to call the cops, the same thought striking through him and Jonah at the exact moment.

" _Fuck!"_ Jonah screams, trying to pull at her hair and bring her to a stop, unable to process the notion of her throwing all his pills down the nearest sewer drain until it's something she actually does.

Looking back to the both of them with eyes of intoxication and craze, it comes to her attention that this time she's left him speechless, that is until he finally unfreezes this moment in time and finds his voice to speak.

"What the _fuck did you just do?!"_ He's so caught up in shrieking to her that he almost can't feel the tears appearing on his face.

"If I can't have them, _no one can."_ Her voice rasps, clenching her jaw and letting the bottle drop to the ground.

" _Fuck you."_ He has nothing else to say to her right now, that is until she goes reaching for his keys inside his pocket.

" _Jesus!_ " He moves back and aims them back as far as possible, instinctively striking the edge into her bottom lip when she scratches his face.

He and Jerome each loudly sound their gasps, whereas she says no such thing while wiping away the speck of blood and looking deep into his eyes.

"Go back to wherever it is the hell you came from..." Jonah challenges.

"Yeah? How do you expect me to get there?"

"You have two feet." He locks the car without a second thought, squeezing the keys tight inside his fist.

"Use them."

They bitterly stare each other down other once again, Julia kicking the bottle that remains on the ground and watching Jonah flinch before refusing to look at him any longer.

Taking a few steps back, she takes one last glance at him to say what it is she feels has the right to be said.

"You are _nothing_ to me..."

It comes out in a whisper, and Jonah’s still taking it in when regretfully watching her slowly turn her back and begin to walk away.

Neither he or Jerome know to speak until she's made it out of earshot.

"Jonah..." Jerome finally says when it appears she has.

He figures it’s best not to force a response, sitting down on the porch and hoping he won’t remain alone.

Once Jonah’s made sure Julia can no longer possibly be seen, he drags himself along and sits next to Jerome without a sound.

They could easily jump into the car and go after her, sweep her up and take her somewhere doable where she’ll undoubtedly make a fuss. But he’s going to have to learn to ignore that side of him. If she’s unable to help herself, anyone else will only be able to provide so much. 

“Jonah I had _no_ idea...” Jerome finally brings up, Jonah barely able to look at him through this lack of light.

Ignoring his blatant stare, he sulks forward into the darkness that overtakes them.

At this point, he wouldn’t know how to handle looking at him anyway.

His voice has turned cracked, what he says next just barely counting as a mutter.

“There was a reason why you didn’t...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No offense but if I don’t receive feedback (aka comments) I’ll deem this as unworthy and will struggle to continue it hahahahahaha  
> (Comment your comments or perish xoxoxo!)  
> Speaking of which request prompts
> 
> List one:   
> https://whellsdemonictrinity.tumblr.com/post/ww.google.com/amp/s/160523410875/angstfluff-pro160523410875/angstfluff-prompt-list/mpt-list/amp
> 
> Used prompts:  
> 2.  
> 23.  
> 46.  
> 48.  
> 49.  
> 71.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 7.  
> 17.  
> 82.  
> 95.
> 
> List two:   
> https://cyruslookedback.tumblr.com/post/176077566700/prompt-list  
> Prompts used:  
> 1.  
> 3.  
> 6.  
> 7.  
> 11.  
> 18.  
> 19.  
> 24.  
> 33.  
> 53.  
> 71.  
> 72.  
> 82.  
> 87.  
> 113.  
> 176.  
> 229.
> 
> Prompts in use:  
> 21.  
> 79.  
> 95.  
> 102.  
> 112.  
> 154.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/heyoricohannah


	9. Get Me By:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah, TJ and Cyrus are all angsty bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2019! A year ago I never would have thought I’d accomplish the things I have on here, and I'd like to thank everyone for reading, commenting, or simply clicking on my stuff. I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

They didn't discuss the manner of what happened, not on the porch, not on their way back, not when they returned.

After what Jerome just had to witness, Jonah offered to at least drive them back, but Jerome knew that if either of them were more shaken up, it was Jonah.

Jonah, who said nothing for the rest of the night.

Now, it's only been two short hours since Jonah's been able to push himself to sleep, and Jerome is the first one to awake to the sound of his seven a.m alarm.

"Jonah..." He's almost just as exhausted as he is. "Ya gotta get up..."

He knows Jonah must have been tossing and turning all night, and it's not like he has enough energy to raise his voice.

"Jonah either change the sound or turn it off...!" He raises his voice the best he can, Jonah's unavailability giving him no choice but to throw himself out of bed, walk five feet over to Jonah's mattress, and turn off the alarm himself.

"Jonah." He hates to wake him up knowing all he's going through, but neither can he let him sleep away his class.

It takes a few tries, but after a few more pokes and shakes of his shoulders, Jonah gasps himself awake, eyes popping out of his head and gaping at Jerome in disbelief.

" _Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."_ He whispers softly to the sound of Jonah's rushed hyperventilation.

"Your alarm went off." He tells him. "I know you don't want to but you gotta get up."

"Yeah." Jonah scoffs, scowling off to the side. "To write this stupid fucking paper."

"You don't have class?" Jerome asks.

"Oh no, I do." His tone bitter and in no way subtle, Jonah sits himself up.

"When's the paper due."

"In like nine hours." Jonah stands himself up and slumps his way towards the bathroom.

"Jonah."

Stopping dead in his tracks, Jonah keeps his eyes pinpointed to the wall, with a dropping heart and knowing exactly what's about to be brought up.

"Did you...Mention anything about what happened last night, to anyone?"

" _No_ why would I." It exhausts him to simply turn back around.

"So you're not even going to? Not Cyrus, not your Dad?"

"Nope." Jonah keeps it blunt.

"What about your pills. Don't you think your Dad is going to notice how they're not there anymore?" Jerome figures.

"I'll figure it out." Jonah excuses, declaring an end to the conversation by going into the bathroom and shutting the door before Jerome can get another word out.

"When will you be done in there...?" He asks him, being responded with the start of running water from the shower.

Almost forgetting he doesn't have to be up and going for at least another hour, Jerome sighs out his concern for Jonah his way back into bed.

At this point in time, the last thing anyone needs is for Jonah to come crashing down, something that unfortunately already feels pretty bound to happen.

 

TJ didn't exactly feel like spending the start of the morning in his own house, so after he got dressed in his band merch and chugged down a Monster energy drink he found in the back of the fridge, he was allowed permission from Cyrus to eat breakfast at his place.

"So TJ, how's your Mom?" In the middle of their meal, Lori brings up the person who TJ didn't even feel like saying goodbye to before he left.

"Uhhh she's fine." He takes another bite of his eggs. "Thank you for the food."

"TJ's grandma is visiting," Cyrus brings up for the purpose of causing him trouble.

"Oh, your Dad's Mom? You must be excited to see her." Lori thinks they mean the one more tolerable.

"No, uh, my Mom's—Mom." As Cyrus sips his juice, TJ stares him down with an evil look in his eye as 

"Isn't she the one that's institutionalized?" David asks.

"Dad it's a nursing home..." Cyrus corrects, trying not to look too appalled.

"Yes, but isn't it a _special_ nursing home?" Things like these makes Cyrus question how the hell David's made it this far as a therapist.

"Yeah, my grandma's pretty screwed up." TJ tells them.

"Is she okay?" Lori asks.

"I _hope_ not." TJ forgets to think before he says this, Cyrus' parents both giving him awed looks.

"No you guys _don't_ understand." He starts. "She's like, _crazy_ bigoted."

"Yeah Mom, don't you remember that time she tried to break my hand with that frying pan 'cause she heard I was gay?" Cyrus brings up.

"When was _this?"_ David was never aware.

"A few years ago at the Christmas party thrown at my place." TJ informs in the midst of chewing more eggs. "Before she went insane."

"' _Before'...?_ " David's even more puzzled.

"Yeah, the Alzheimer's didn't help. We're pretty sure it made her more racist." TJ serves himself some more.

"Oh..." This has Cyrus sip more of his drink.

"Yeah, I was gonna invite Cyrus and Jonah to the dinner we'll be having but I don't think it's a great idea."

"Maybe if you put shades over her eyes like the last time." Cyrus suggests.

"Oh yeah that's true." TJ remembers the instance as he hastily finishes up the remainder of his food.

"Dude you okay?" Cyrus suspiciously observes him. 

"Yeah I just had a lot of Monster this morning."

Lori and David know it's not worth to add in their two cents.

"More vape withdrawals?" Cyrus figures.

"That _and_ because I'm supposed to go hunting with my Dad this weekend."

TJ was let in on the arrangements that have been made shortly after he woke up.

"Since when do you hunt?" Cyrus asks.

"Oh yeah. That 'big dinner' I told you my family's having for my grandma-we're counting it as early Thanksgiving."

This brings on a longing silence.

" _Why_ are you guys having early Thanksgiving..." Cyrus hesitates for a further explanation.

"My Mom's weird, okay."

" _Yeah._ " Cyrus scoffs. "I know what _that's_ like." He idly looks off to the side.

" _Cyrus_." David emphasizes.

" _What?"_ He doesn't see how his comment was in any way wrong.

"We're not talking about that." David decides, Cyrus automatically ready to protest.

"What-you _told me_ to _start_ talking about it."

"In a _professional manner."_

"Alright." Lori certainly doesn't want to hear this, and neither does TJ.

In fact, all this tension brings him need for more caffeine.

"Let's see Jonah before school."

"Pretty sure he's in class right now." Cyrus checks his phone to see if he's gotten back to him.

Jonah’s been beginning to wonder how long it'll take for Cyrus to realize something is wrong.

"Did he get back to you about what I said regarding Angela?" David brings up one of the other therapists at his work.

"Yeah..." Cyrus reads over the message he sent to him after David described how he thought Jonah and Angela would make a good fit.

"I think I should start doing therapy." TJ admits.

"See Cyrus? Now _that's_ progress." David gloats to him.

"Maybe we can go to therapy together." TJ offers.

"I'll pass. Besides-what issues do _we_ have." Cyrus asks him.

"Don't you think we're drifting apart? Maybe just a _little_ bit?"

"TJ we see each other every day."

"And what happens when we _stop_ seeing each other, huh? What happens when _you're_ all the way in the big apple and _I'm_  all alone at community college??" He starts to frazzle.

"Save it for the session, hon'." Lodi advises.

"I'm sorry. It's the withdrawals."

"Whoa hold on. What do you _mean_ 'big apple'." David asks TJ but looks directly to Cyrus.

”You know, New York.” TJ thinks that’s where he misunderstood.

"What, you think you're going to school in _New York?_ It's too expensive and too far."

"Last time I heard scholarships still exist." Cyrus gets smart with him.

" _Still_ too far."

"Alright-I _really_ don't think we should talk about this now." Lori excuses them.

"That's nice. Yes." Cyrus continues to David, standing up with his plate. "Restrict your child from educational opportunities. _That's_ a good choice." He turns away and walks to the sink.

" _Cyrus._ " Lori initiates.

" _What?_ " He stops and looks at her, TJ butting in and saying how he thinks they should go to Jonah's 7/11.

"Quit using seeing Jonah as an excuse to get free Red Bull." Cyrus tells him.

"I'm _not!_ Seeing Jonah _would_ be a bonus." TJ points

"We're not even _going to_ he's in class-!"

"Oh _come on_ just at least let me see Jeffery." TJ interrupts and walks across from him.

"Who?"

"Jeffery. The employee."

"Ah, yes, 'cause _that's_ idealistic." Cyrus conments smartly.

"He's a _nice_ guy!"

"No he's not."

"Okay. He's not."

"Who are you guys talking about?" David responds to their banter.

"No one." They quickly respond together.

"This isn't someone you're seeing, is it?" Lori calmly checks with TJ.

"What? _No! I-I'm not-"_

"Ya know what, we're gonna go; TJ just get Red Bull somewhere else." Cyrus reaches his breaking point, walking towards the room's exit and pulling him along by the back of his shirt.

"Bye..." TJ waves to them as he's pulled his way out.

"Thanks for the eggs!" He hastily calls out from the porch, Cyrus shutting the front door the moment the words leave his mouth.

"Why are you being so bitchy?" TJ asks him.

"I'm not." Cyrus purposely starts walking down to the car.

" _Yes_ , you are." TJ speeds next to him, taking out his keys and unlocking the vehicle.

"I'm just saying," he starts to him after they've gotten inside.

"You're getting snappy with your Dad _and_ Lori. You _al_ ready have mommy issues, you really wanna have daddy issues too?" He asks him.

" _You're_ pissed off at _your_ Mom right now." Cyrus reasons.

"Yeah but that's normal, you're on some next _level_ shit. My Mom's just being...Strange." TJ cringes at the thought.

"Yeah well so is mine."

"Which _one?"_

 _"Both of them, I dunno!"_ Cyrus exclaims. "Can we just not talk about this anymore? Go get your Red Bull."

TJ scoffs as he starts the engine. "And I thought _I_ was having withdrawals. This 'bout Jonah?" He asks him.

" _Why_ would this be about Jonah."

"You don't think he's ignoring you, do you?"

" _What?_ No." Cyrus shakes his head. "It's college. I know he's busy. Why, he text you or something?"

"No." Snickering, TJ can see right through him.

Beginning to drive, he asks Cyrus what he feels is most important.

"So, New York, huh."

"Never said I was going this year."

"Yeah, but if not now, when?" TJ almost doesn't want to know that answer.

"I dunno, I guess not for a while. I don't want to go to a four year right away." Cyrus informs.

"When was _that_ decided?"

"I dunno, I guess with all this shit going—" he notices TJ's going in a different direction.

"Dude—are we going to the gas station?" TJ's accused.

"So what? You _said_ to get my Red Bull somewhere else, and I _am._ My car needs gas anyway, Cyrus." But they both know it's just an excuse for him to get Red Bull.

"You're unbelievable." Cyrus laughs at him.

"Better than pussy sticks."

"What?"

"Buffy said it, not me."

 

After TJ fills up the tank, he suggests to Cyrus that he thinks he knows why he's been 'so grumpy' this morning.

"Yeah, why's that?" Cyrus smiles to him on their way through the lot.

"'Cause twenty four hours ago you were getting laid and now you're petty knowing that you aren't." TJ teases, grinning at Cyrus' swift chortling.

"Shit. Maybe." He considers jokingly.

They stop just outside the entrance of the store.

"So what's my tell." Cyrus figures there's something about him that gives away when he just got off.

"What, from yesterday? You don't actually expect me to believe that Jonah sends his jerk off results to you at nine in the morning, do you?"  TJ points out.

"Fair enough. But seriously what's my tell." Cyrus wants to know.

"Your eyes always look bloodshot."

"What, they do _not!"_ Cyrus grins, refusing to ever believe that.

"Okay not _bloodshot_. They just become...Bigger than your face."

Cyrus scoffs out a laugh.

"So it's easy to tell that you either just smoked a blunt or you got laid. And I _know_ you don't get high.”

"Who said _I'm_ not the one doing the laying?" Cyrus grins their way into the building.

"' _Doing the laying'_ " TJ repeats, guffawing at him and leading their way to the cabinets of cold drinks near the back.

"Since when do they have cherry flavor?" Cyrus asks, when TJ takes out a six pack of the particular Red Bull flavor.

"Since always." He shrugs. "You want anything?"

"Nah."

They walk over behind the one other person in line.

Cyrus notices the skeptical way TJ's looking at the woman who has shades over her eyes and a scarf around her head.

He taps on his shoulder and gives him an alerting glance.

'What' Cyrus mouths, looking to him before trying to get a glimpse of the woman's profile as her cigarettes get rung up.

She makes no sound when being handed her receipt, the boys finally getting a good look of the woman as she exits out of the store.

"Holy shit..." From behind the window, Cyrus watches her brisk down the sidewalk.

"Cyrus, don't tell him _anything_." TJ advises, stepping forward and placing his pack on the counter.

"You're not gonna ask for my ID, are you?" He checks with the cashier.

"No..." She squints at him.

"Okay..."

"I'll be right back." Cyrus starts making his way towards the door.

"Cyrus, don't-"

But he's already making his exit.

"Six dollars." The cashier interrupts TJ's longing stare in Cyrus' direction.

 

From the sidewalk outside, Cyrus observes her. To a car of unfamiliarity parked far from TJ's, Julia walk with her pack of cigarettes, that just might not be hers after all.

This is confirmed when she gets inside and hands them to a man Cyrus can barely make out, yet can still see that he's not in any way her husband.

Julia takes off her sun glasses and the scarf from around her head, confirming to Cyrus what he already knows.

Not only is it her, but it's her under the influence of God knows what.

With no fusses or words of exchange, the two pull out of the lot and drive off, Cyrus' stomach sinking along with his heart.

"Was it her?" TJ asks him after walking out with his bag of purchases and seeing him sulk wearily ahead.

"Yeah...She went off with some guy..." Cyrus can't look at him just yet.

"Shit...You think she's sleeping with him?"

"What _else_ would she be doing with him." Cyrus glares his way.

"I dunno, _drugs?"_

Just hearing that turns Cyrus defensive. "She doesn't _do drugs,_ she just abuses _pills."_

TJ stares him down. "Is that _really_ what you have yourself believing?" He thought someone like him would know better. Perhaps it's just denial.

"I'll bel _ieve_ it when I have legitimate proof. Can we just get out of here, you're lucky she didn't see us."

"Are we _gonna_ tell Jonah?"

"I don't _know,_ TJ." This is where Cyrus is torn.

"Well, this is just my two cents, but don't you think seeing the relationship they have now makes you want to patch things up with _your_ Mom?" TJ braces for impact.

"TJ, those are two completely different situations."

"Yeah, but..." he delicately continues. "It's just sad, y'know? All I'm saying is things between you and your Mom could be a _lot_ worse. Maybe she can come to my family's early Thanksgiving!"

Cyrus almost flinches at the thought. "We should go..." He shuts it down completely, turning away and walking in the car's direction.

"You know I'm right!" TJ yells to him.

"Yeah yeah." Cyrus brushes it off, gesturing his hand at him and getting inside.

After thinking about it for a moment or two as he chugs down one of his cherry flavored Red Bull's, TJ takes out his phone and calls who feels he needs to most.

"Hey Mom, it's me. I just wanted to say I love you."

 

TJ and Cyrus may have not made it to 7/11, but for Jonah, after going to two classes, steadily writing a full paper in one sitting, and attending a half an hour study session where he actually felt like the material he learned is still sticking to his brain, he feels as if it's what he deserves.

That, _and_ what he plans to get out of it.

"Oh. Hi..." He's reluctant to see that his cashier is that cashier-the one from the strip club that he's pretty sure is psychologically insane.

"No free Red Bull for you, pal. Only for those friends 'a yours."

"Yeah. I know..." He skeptically scans the rows of cigarettes stored behind him.

"I was uh, thinking you could give me a pack 'a those." He points to the first one in sight.

"Never woulda taken you for a smoker. Which brand?"

"Any suggestions?"

"I don't smoke that shit bro. Shit's cancer sticks. It's why I vape instead."

"Like vaping's any _better?"_

"It's a _little_ better."

"Can I just get those right there?" Jonah asks tiredly, pointing to the cheapest box that he knows isn't the first choice of his Mom's.

"Fine. ID."

"You're not gonna _blackmail me_ with it are you." Jonah asks.

"You _want_ the cancer sticks or not?”

As he rolls his eyes, Jonah takes out his wallet, sliding both his license and the correct amount of money his way.

"Hm..." Jeff takes a good look at Jonah's identification.

"You look scared shitless in this photo."

"Oh my God just take my money.” Jonah would much rather not discuss how he was ‘scared shitless’ to actually be obtaining a license.

Jeff turns disgruntled as he does this.

"Here."

As Jonah swipes up his license before anything can happen to it, Jeff stores away the money and gets him what he came here for.

"Be careful with those things."

"My change is thirty two cents..." Jonah reads the technologically operated register, blankly holding out his palm so it can be collected.

"Dammit." Jeff curses, opening the register and handing him over the exact amount without even looking.

"You need a lighter with that?" He calls during Jonah's way to front exit.

" _Nope."_ He doesn't exactly see it as a necessity when Jerome has a handful of them.

Not that he, or anyone else, is going to know about this.

 

As the day turns into evening, Cyrus wasn't fully guaranteeing that he'd see Jonah tonight, but he was at least expecting to get a response to his text from over twenty four hours ago.

"What if something happened..." He worries, sitting next to Buffy on her couch with Andi and TJ alongside.

"Maybe he's just picking up his dose right now." Andi suggests.

"I don't even know if he did last _night_."

Yet it might be best for Cyrus if he doesn't know how that went.

As if Jonah knew he was the topic of their conversation, he texts Cyrus requesting if right now would be a good time to call him.

" _Uh-oh."_ After Cyrus reads aloud the message, TJ is suddenly invested.

"What." Cyrus frowns.

"That might as well be him saying 'we need to talk'"

" _Yeah, so?"_ Buffy doesn't see what the problem is.

" _Not_ good, bro."

"What...?" Now Cyrus fears that his and Jonah's relationship is in abrupt jeopardy.

"TJ, shut up. You've never been in a serious relationship before so what do _you_ know." Buffy goes off on him.

"What, I'm not _allowed_ to give advice??"

"That's not _giving advice,_ that's being-"

"I'm just gonna go call him." Cyrus stands up and walks over a ten feet distance.

"You know, at least you always having that vape in your mouth kept you from _talking_." Buffy snaps at TJ.

"What do you _want from me, dammit-"_

Cyrus shushes him as he awaits for Jonah to pick up his call.

"Hey...!"

From what Cyrus can hear, Jonah is already emotionally distant. "Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch. There was so much I had to get done today."

"Oh, no worries. You're keeping up, that's good."

"Yeah, we'll see." Jonah's chuckle is instinctive.

"You must be exhausted." Cyrus figures he'll need the night to himself.

"I was just calling to see if you ever got to think about that therapist I informed you on."

"Oh, shit." Jonah almost forgot. "I might as well take it. I'll talk to my Dad about it as soon as I can. I remember him telling me my appointments would be covered by our insurance."

"Okay great. Just remember we could always help out too-"

"Ah, no, no, no, no-" Jonah grins, his exaggerated tone making Cyrus smile.

“Just putting that out there."

"Hm." Jonah smirks. "I'll get around to it.”

"That's...That's good, Jonah, I'm glad..." While he is happy to hear this, he just can't shake how hard it is for him to do the same.

Jonah potentially going through with this is what reminds him about his own inability to pull through.

Maybe it would be best for him to know that Jonah hasn't exactly gotten much better either.

"You okay? You sick?" He asks about the cough that Jonah's no longer able to hide.

"Yeah, just allergies..." He hates to lie. More so fib. It's not like the cigarettes were something he enjoyed. Just because it was a distraction doesn't mean it was the right one. It only took one to do the trick, and, more importantly, the damage.

"Okay, get some rest." Cyrus lightly advises.

"I'll see you soon." Jonah tells him.

"Alright, I love you. We love you." He looks back to the others who abruptly yell out to Jonah their words of assurance.

"Love you guys too." Jonah tells Cyrus. "I'll text you."

"'Kay. Love you."

"Love you." These are Jonah's last words before hanging up.

"Everything alright?" Buffy asks, as Cyrus holds onto his phone and sits back on the couch.

"Yeah. He's busy. I think he's depressed."

"Why didn't you ask about his Mom?" Andi wonders.

"Because of what I just said." Cyrus reasons. "If he wanted me to know something he would have told me."

Which is _exactly_ why Jonah isn't telling him about what happened.

"We should go up there this weekend and make him feel better." TJ says to them.

"Why, so you can see your 7/11 boyfriend?" Andi goofs off.

"Oh please he could _so much better_ than him." Buffy intrudes.

" _Hahahahahaha."_ TJ bitterly and obnoxiously laughs along with them.

" _God,_ I need a vape." He concludes when the noise has stopped.

"Go get one." Buffy tells him.

" _I need money to do that."_

"Get a job at Jonah's 7/11 with your _favorite_ person." Cyrus smiles, TJ grunting and storming out onto the porch to the sounds of their laughter.

It takes them a few moments to cool off, Andi figuring that TJ's behavior is just a result of his withdrawals.

"Maybe we should go his family dinner thing." Buffy brings up.

"With his grandma? No way. Every time she sees me she says my skin tone is too bright and accuses me of being trans." Andi recalls.

"You don't have to go." Cyrus tells her.

"Or none of us can go and we can just get him a vape,” Buffy concludes.

"What happened to you wanting him to quit?" Cyrus frowns skeptically.

"Well if he's gonna keep acting like _this_ ," she points over to the door.

"I'm gonna go talk to him. I have a feeling this might be a bigger issue than vape withdrawals." Cyrus stands up with preparation.

"Cyrus, just because your Dad and step Mom are therapists doesn't mean you are." Andi reminds him.

"Yeah yeah." He carelessly motions his hand in their direction before completing his exit.

Both girls scoff in response.

 

Cyrus slowly walks in TJ's direction, hesitantly observing how he's pressing together the fingertips of his index finger and thumb, pressing his knuckle up against his top lip.

"Dude...What are you doing..." Cyrus asks him.

" _Pretending to vape, Cyrus. What else._ " TJ freshly turns around and throws his hand back against his side.

"Jesus, dude. Chill out."

"I _would_ if-"

"Alright alright." Cyrus sees where he went wrong.

"Cyrus, I think this whole thing is bigger than vaping. I think I'm having an identity crisis." TJ shares.

"Because you haven't been vaping...?"

"Vaping _is_ my identity, dude. But not anymore. I know what have to do." It's declared.

"What."

"Okay, that was a lie, I _don't_ know what to do."

"Well-"

"Actually, I'm gonna go for a run." TJ jogs off of Buffy's porch and all away around to her backyard.

"Wait, back there...?!" Cyrus asks him. " _Don't get lost!"_ He sternly commands.

TJ has a habit of doing that. More so when he's going through times such as these.

"TJ's playing in the woods." He tells the girls after walking back through the door.

"I guess I'll be the one to go out and look for him after it gets dark." Andi considers, to which Buffy reminds her of what's to be done.

"Just call his name and shake the bag of cheese puffs from the pantry."

 

**I think you're the only around here that keeps me sane.**

The buzzing of Jonah's phone intrigues him, but turns him paranoid at the thought of having to respond to someone.

Inside his bed he remains in the same position,  laying there in emotional discomfort and sulking forward into the room with his blanket wrapped tight around him.

"Jonah." Jerome greets for him after he walks in. "When's your next class."

"Nine..." He doesn't bother to move or sound remotely positive.

"Why don't you hang out with Chad, Natalia, and I till then?" Turns out that the name of the girl who's in to Jonah is Natalia, not Natalie.

"No."

"Dude come on." Jerome sits down on the bed. "At least let me know you'll be enjoying yourself while I'm gone."

"This is how I enjoy myself."

"Doesn't look like it to _me_."

Deeply sighing, Jonah brings himself to sit up and look at him.

"Dude, keeping from everyone what happened _isn't_ going to make things any better."

"But telling them will feel just as worse. _Cyrus. My Dad,_ I don't think they can take it-"

"They _can_. They _will_. You're gonna call your doctor, and she'll understand. Maybe then she can recommend you some therapy."

"Cyrus already did, from his Dad's building."

"And you're sure that's a good idea?"

"Since I don't really feel like talking to anyone at _all_ right now, not really."

Jerome knows he's aware that that's not what he meant.

"Well you're talking to _me_. That's a start. When you leave class, you may not feel like you learned much, but you're gonna feel maybe just a little bit good that you got through it. You worked yourself hard today." Jerome talks him up.

"Yeah...Let's hope _that_ keeps up." Jonah has a feeling that it won't.

"Maybe I can ditch them. Just stay here with you-"

"No dude, go out. Have fun."

"I need my lighter. If you wanna light up with us you can. Seems like you need it." Jerome walks over to his desk.

"I put it back in your night side drawer."

"You got high without me?" Jerome's partially offended.

"No, but I smoked."

"Lemme teach you how to do it right."

"Not weed. Cigs."

"That stuff's not good for you man." Jerome tells Jonah what they already know.

"What, you think I _enjoyed_ it? Shit sucks. Barely did anything for me." Jonah makes sure he knows. "The last thing I need for me is to end up like my Mom."

"You sure you don't want to smoke with us...?" Jerome doesn't like that he said that.

"Yeah. I'll just stay here. Watch YouTube or something." Jonah rolls back over in his bed.

"You could FaceTime Cyrus," Jerome suggests.

"Nah, not tonight. He's busy."

Jonah doesn't need to be in touch with Cyrus every hour of the day to feel secure. And he's sure Cyrus feels the same.

Right now, he's glad he still hasn't brought attention to the pills, but even when he's not talking about it, Jonah still can't help but be eaten up inside about his dishonesty.

After Jerome is gone, it's not Cyrus that asks about it, but Jonah's father.

 **U take your meds tonight?** He texts him.

 **Yes. No changes.** Jonah can feel his heart stuttering as he sends this.

Because there _has_ in fact been a big change, Jonah goes into his contacts in hope for the number of his doctor. He doesn't care what he has to say to get those pills back before anyone notices their absence, he just wants them replaced.

After sitting through the drawn out ringing and her anxiously long voicemail, Jonah's too embarrassed to leave a voicemail.

When nine o' clock rolls around, just like he did in his last state of public isolation, he throws on black shades and a grey hoodie and heads to class, where he's told by three different people that he looks like a unabomber.

At his desk, he takes off the glasses to lower suspicions.

 

The next morning, Cyrus and TJ have plenty to rant about on their way to school.

"Since when is it my business that it's the kid's birthday?" Cyrus goes first, blatantly glaring out the windshield. "I barely even met him. He'll have enough stuff to go around."

"Well can't you just leave the present on their doorstep?" TJ continues to drive with only one hand despite the absence of his vape.

"I _guess_ so."

"What does he like?"

"Ron texted me Paw Patrol."

At this, TJ smiles. "So you won't talk to your Mom but you'll talk to that husband of hers?"

"Yeah well Ron didn't abandon me." Cyrus makes his point.

"Well you're not gonna see her. Maybe Ron. The kids. That's it." TJ hopes he's right.

" _Still_ gonna be awkward."

"What's wrong with their Mom again?" From what TJ remembers the kids' biological mother lost custody of them.

"Who cares. _Mine_ can't be any better."

"I think you're having Jonah withdrawals." TJ tells him.

"Probably." Cyrus considers.

"It's the weekend. We'll see him." TJ knows it. "Hopefully after tomorrow afternoon." Rolling his eyes almost makes him lose track of the road.

"Will you drive with _two_ hands, please?" Cyrus asks him. "How long will you be gone tomorrow."

"I dunno, a few hours." TJ hasn't really enjoyed thinking about it. "I'm kinda scared, man. My Dad shooting live things isn't gonna make a very good impression on me after not seeing each other for half a year."

"Maybe the gunshots will drown out the awkward small talk." Cyrus suggests to him.

"Maybe you should come." TJ's been having the idea for a while.

"What? Nah, dude. Guns aren't my thing."

"You won't have to _kill_ a _turkey._ " TJ insists. "I'll keep you safe. Promise."

"Okay..." Cyrus doesn't know how much he can trust him on that. Not that TJ doesn't mean it. Cyrus knows he does, but what he also knows is that TJ can tend to get a little, distracted, that's all.

"Fine. But this means you have to go with me to Ron's to give Kade's birthday present."

"It's your Mom's house too, man."

"Yeah yeah. You my ride or not."

"Aren't I always?" TJ smiles at him, getting them to laugh.

With that, they decide to might as well get the toy at Target during lunch.

 

"I think I'm starting to get abs." TJ says to Cyrus as they walk throughout the school parking lot towards the building.

"You went on _one_ run."

"Yeah. One _long, intense_ run." TJ reasons, stopping with him so Andi and Buffy can make their way over.

“How’s that identity crisis of yours going?” Cyrus asks to him.

“Better, I think.”

“What...” Andi asks.

"Porter gave me a C on my Shakespeare essay and he keeps saying he won't accept my topic." Buffy’s too busy venting to Andi to hear what they just said.

"Well maybe your paper shouldn't have been one big whole conspiracy theory." Andi repeats.

"He _could_ have been a fraud! Kendall Rae made a _whole_ video about it. Porter's just biased because he's up his ass."

"Who's up whose ass?" TJ had lost interest right when they started talking.

"Nothing." Andi excuses.

"What's up with you guys." Buffy asks them.

"We have to Target during lunch and get a Paw Patrol toy." Cyrus says.

"Is this TJ's new obsession? I'd take that over vaping any day." Buffy responds.

" _No_ ," TJ scowls.

"Oh. I was excited there for a second. So what's the gist."

"It's my Mom's step kid's birthday. My Dad wants me to see him for the first time in four years."

"How old is he now?" Andi asks.

"Six."

"Cute. So it's Friday, what's the deal: we seeing Jonah?" Buffy asks the first question that was on her mind.

"I hope so."

After Cyrus says this, a new coming student on a motorcycle comes zooming up through the lot, grabbing everyone’s attention and parking at the bike rack near the right corner of the lot, disguised for now in their black helmet.

"Who's that." TJ asks, watching with the others as the kid cuts the engine and takes off his helmet in the midst of his smooth walk down the pavement.

" _Damn_ he's cute." Buffy comments.

"He's not _that_ cute." TJ starts up. "You can barely even see him."

The kid takes a quick hit of the vape he seems to pull out of nowhere, exhaling the vapor and securing the vape itself within his fist before walking through the entrance of the school.

"Okay he's _cool_ but he's not _cute_." TJ decides.

 

Due to Friday consisting of only three classes for Jonah that are back to back and start late in the afternoon, he considers this the most relaxing school day of his week.

If you count relaxing as heading to his pediatrician's office and praying for dear life that he believes the story of how he managed to lose his pills after one day of possession.

"I can order you more." She affirms to him after talking in what it is he said.

"Really? And you like, don't think I'm a liar or anything?"

"You're anything but. I just feel...Terrible that this is happening." She hates to imagine all he's going through.

"I'm gonna order them in, and send you off with some therapy."

"Okay..." He doesn't want to mention how it's something he's already been working on. Kind of. Okay not really. All he's got is a name and a place, no appointments made.

Little does she know that she’s actually suggesting to him that exact name located at that exact place.

This is a sign, right? David was already saying how he thinks Jonah and Angela would do well with each other.

This time, he just actually has to go through with it.

"Thank you...I'll look into it I promise."

"Stick around, Jonah." She stays relatively calm.

These words strike him harder than expected. "I'll try..."

His answer has her exhale. "I was about to call you, before you showed up here. Update me. On anything you feel like."

"Okay..." Grinning politely, it's a nice thing for him to hear.

"You too."

"Okay." She snickers. "Gimme a hug. I have a patient coming in any minute and I'm sure you have class." Her arms wrap right around him, being thanked once again as Jonah gratifyingly hugs back.

Before he can exit the building, he's already ecstatic about his next destination.

 

Back at the high school, Cyrus is getting pretty tired of TJ staring at the new guy at lunch and ignoring the fact that they're supposed to be at Target shopping for Paw Patrol. The past three times he asked him about it, there was no answer.

 **You okay?** He texts Jonah in hopes for a response, Buffy and Andi agreeing that TJ's just jealous of this guy because he has a vape and he doesn't.

"Shut up guys! That _isn't_ true. Look at all those girls... _Sitting_ with him..." He squints at the sight of this kid sitting with multiple girls in grade and chatting them all up at once.

"Okay, new conclusion. You're jealous of him because he has a vape _and_ because he gets chicks." Buffy decides.

" _Shut up Buffy!"_

Cyrus can barely hear his phone buzz over TJ's yelling.

**Feeling good. I'll see you soon <3**

Cyrus reads it over and over until his head is spinning.

 **Okay**. He sends along more heart emojis than he count.

"What's his name, anyway?" TJ asks with distaste about the guy.

"Why do you care." Andi asks.

"I _don't_."

 **Sooner than later, I should say**. Jonah's next text has Cyrus sitting up and embedding the words into his brain.

 **Come to the lot**. Jonah concludes, Cyrus beaming like never before and brightly exclaiming " _Jonah's here,"_ as he gets up and jogs his way forward.

Perking up and looking at one another with deepened interest, the others get up and do their best to keep up with him.

 

" _Heyyyy!_ " Cyrus runs over to Jonah standing with his car parked next to him and anticipating for Cyrus to come closer.

" _Hey, Cy' guy."_ He lifts him off the ground and squeezes him tight. "What's up." He flourishes at the feeling of Cyrus inhaling the scent of his shirt and humming into his shoulder.

"Where you been all morning?" Cyrus smiles to him, setting himself down and grabbing onto his hands.

This is the part where Jonah has to lie, isn't it. "I've been thinkin' about you." Cyrus adds, so Jonah doesn't have to answer his question.

"Mm. Same here." He holds onto his hands and glides throughout the air.

" _Hey!_ " Buffy yells, running up with TJ and Andi, Jonah lighting up at their presence and greeting them with hugs and a huge smile.

"Hey guys, what's up." He stands directly before them with Cyrus approaching by his side.

"Your schedule change?" Buffy asks him.

"Classes don't start until, two, soooo, I'll be off later tonight. What will you guys be up to."

"Probably nothing." Andi keeps it honest.

"We have to go to Target and get a Paw Patrol." TJ informs.

"Yeah, and why's that." Jonah can't contain his humongous smile.

"It's my step brother's birthday and my Dad wants me to get him a present." Cyrus explains.

"Your Dad, not his?" Jonah faces him.

"Yeah. I gotta give it to him later, as if he even remembers me."

"Well, I'm sure he'll love it and think of you the best step-brother ever." Jonah grins.

" _Ehhhh._ " Cyrus squints with skepticism, laughing along with the rest of the them.

"Who's car we taking." Andi asks.

"Mine." TJ's highly biased towards his own vehicle. "I gotta clean out the backseat first hold on." He takes out the keys from his pocket and starts walking off to where he parked.

" _TJ._ " Buffy cringes.

" _What?_ " He calls out, smiling at the sounds of their laughs.

The remaining four stay where they are and end up taking pictures of each other and themselves left and right to pass the time, waiting for TJ who ends up bumping into the new kid on his way towards the car.

Turns out he's even prettier up close.

"Hey."

TJ doesn't know what's more appealing-him or his vape, that now he inhales and exhales in slow motion.

Even the scent of the vapor is sexy.

"Fresh cantaloupe."

"What."

"Y-your vapor is fresh cantaloupe. O-or the smell is, I mean..." TJ trips over his words.

"Yeah, the vape's starting to ware out." He looks down at it in a disappointed state.

"O- _oh,_ darn..."

"Yeah, so, do you vape too, or are you just a guy who likes the smell of fresh cantaloupes." He jokes around, making TJ laugh more than he should.

"Oh, uh-uh I vape. _And_ I like cantaloupe."

"Nice."

" _Yeah,_ nice." TJ needs to wipe this stupid smile off his face.

"Reed!" One of the girls waiting for him in his car parked ten feet away yells out for him.

"Hold on." He says to them. "I'm Reed." He turns back to TJ. "Like she said. So uh, whatcha up to?"

"Oh I was just walking to my car to clean it out. Well n-not clean it out, but-" TJ doesn't want him knowing how he's the slob he is.

"T-to get something, from there. But I don't need it anymore."

"You wanna ride with us?" Reed asks him.

"Oh...Okay! B-be right back." He's never ran faster in his life.

"Change of plans." He tells the others when he's gotten back to them.

"What..." Jonah's blinks.

"Yeah uh just go there without me." He starts running back.

" _Dude!_ " Cyrus yells.

"Just take one of your cars! Or mine!" He manages to throw the keys to Buffy.

" _What...?!"_

He's no longer in either one's line of sight.

Blinking and frowning, the four look to each other in too much of a confused state to even question what's going on.

"I'm _not_ taking his car." Buffy speaks up.

They agree to take hers, instead, so off to her car, and off to Target, they go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please pleaassssee comment any thoughts you had I hate to beg like a lil bitch but please :)


	10. Family Matters:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After school, Cyrus goes to visit his Mom, and unfortunately, things play out as expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yes, I’m aware. I’m a piece of shit that’s been preoccupied with a different fic of mine. If you like gay, you might like that one as well. Anyways, I’m sorry! Enjoy this chapter. Or don’t. Idk. Love you!

Now that they've arrived at Target, Cyrus is insisting on getting his step brother a Paw Patrol toy from the dollar section, something that Buffy, Jonah and Andi are each calling him out on.

"Why not?? There's Paw Patrol stuff there all the time. See?" He leads the way over.

"Stickers. Right there. One buck. Perfect." He points those out.

"Do you even know if he _likes_ stickers?" Buffy tests them.

"He's a kid. What kid _doesn't_ like them. Owe!" This had Buffy twist his earlobe.

"Get him an actual _toy_." Jonah says.

"What if he already has it?"

"Text Ron!" Andi yells.

" _Ew,_ no! You know what?" Cyrus takes out his phone and looks for the contact in need. "His sister. I'll text her."

"And when's the last time you talked to _her?_ " Andi challenges.

"I was twelve, I think."

Buffy rolls her eyes.

"Maybe I should just get him a gift card." Cyrus figures.

"He's six." Andi reminds.

"Exactly!"

"Get him something that he can _open_." Buffy advises. "Kids _love_ opening shit."

She ends up dragging him to the toy section with the rest of them.

"That one." Jonah points to a pack of Paw Patrol themed cars.

"Eh."

"That." Buffy points to the box next to it containing one of the toy sets from the show. "It's like, twenty dollars."

"So what??" Andi asks him.

"Ugh, _fine."_ Cyrus takes it off the shelf. "You guys need anything?" He looks at them.

"No. You're gonna make a great father one day, Cyrus." Andi jokes, snickering with Buffy and Jonah as Cyrus defensively scoffs.

"Yeah. Let's leave before you guys convince me to get him something else." He's the first to walk off, Jonah looking to the girls with a huge smile on his face and following behind.

"Okay, now that that's settled, does _anyone_ know where TJ went?" Andi asks on their walk back to the front of the store.

"Probably vaping under the school bleachers." Cyrus has caught him doing that countless times.

"Ooh! Andi let's look over there." Buffy stops walking and points over to the section of clothes right next door.

"Okay!" She answers. "Be right back." Andi tells the guys and pulls her along.

"How long you wanna bet they'll be." Jonah smiles to Cyrus.

He scoffs. "If we have to we'll leave without them."

Jonah snickers and wraps his arm around him. "Sorry I've been so angsty." Cyrus is the one to say this.

"Are you kidding? It'd be pretty hypocritical for me to complain about that." Jonah grins, snickering along with him in response. "Sorry I can't go with you to your Mom's. You know I would if I could." He informs him.

"It's probably best that you don't." Cyrus expresses.

Like the rest of the people in his life-most especially his father-Harriett's never been too fond of Jonah. And the worst part about it is that Cyrus believes it truly comes from a place of repressed homophobia that she doesn't want to admit is apart of her.

"Yeah..." Jonah agrees.

"Now that I think about it, maybe TJ should just wait in the car," Cyrus considers, just before Jonah spots him in line at the snack bar and is pointing him out. "There he is. Hey, TJ!" He yells out for him, TJ spinning around in shock as if he didn't know that they were going to be there.

"Oh hey guys...!"

"Who you here with?" Cyrus gets the feeling that he isn't alone, something that Jonah can pick up on as well.

"No one!" TJ blurts, running back into the Starbucks area right next door where he's blatantly followed.

"Oh _god dammit._ " Cyrus sees that TJ is sitting with Reed and the group of four girls he's swept along with them.

"Who's that guy with them?" Watching with Cyrus from afar, Jonah recognizes everyone but him.

"Some new kid that TJ only thinks is cool because he has a vape."

"Figures."

They eavesdrop on TJ returning back to their table while doing his best to appear calm and collected.

"Brittany and Liza are pretty popular, should we embarrass him?" Jonah asks.

" _TJ!_ " Cyrus shouts for his attention, scaring him into spotting them and walking over.

" _What._ " He whispers.

" _Quit_ hanging out with that guy just so you can use his vape." Cyrus commands.

"That is _not...!_ The only reason, _God...!_ " TJ claims.

"So you're doing it to vape _and_ get laid." Jonah accuses.

"Oh, _please_. I have class." TJ says.

"No you _don't_." They respond together.

"Okay, so I don't. But I still have morals."

"Those morals being..." Jonah asks.

"Can you _please_ just give me five more minutes with them?" TJ asks. "Please? Go check out your thing. I can give you the five dollar gift card my aunt gave me." He figures it's the least he can do for acting so unpredictable.

"No thanks." Jonah appreciates the offer.

"Are you sure you don't just wanna give the kid a gift card?" TJ brings up.

"He's six." Jonah states.

"Yeah, so?"

"That's what _I_ said!" Cyrus agrees.

"Whatever. Just get back there." Jonah tells TJ, motioning him off and pulling Cyrus around with him.

"Why were you talking to those kids with a Paw Patrol toy?" Reed asks TJ as he sits back down with him.

"They're your friends, right?" Liza, one of the blondies sitting across from him remembers.

"Oh, yeah. Kind of. I guess." TJ can't stop blurting. "Sure. We're close, I guess."

He's starting to wonder how long he can handle these overly suspicious stares.

"Haha..."

 

"Is TJ okay?" On their way to self check out, Jonah asks Cyrus the question with a fairly simple answer.

"He's going through an identity crisis. It'll pass." Cyrus scans the item Jonah's already offering to pay for.

"It's _my_ step brother." Cyrus smiles at him, putting in his card before it's too late and chuckling at Jonah's dissatisfaction when he completes paying on his own.

"So," Jonah starts, walking away from the machines with Cyrus who has the toy and receipt in tow.

"Tonight. My place or yours?" They end up standing around the shelves and displays of milk, fruits, and vegetables.

"Whichever's easier." Cyrus compromises.

"It's Friday so Jerome shouldn't be staying in. Maybe you and the others can crash there."

"Yeah, okay." Cyrus likes the suggestion.

"I just," Jonah sets his arm around him and faces them forward in the opposite direction. "Need to get through these classes, and I'll be good."

"You will." Cyrus speaks into his ear and kisses his cheek, grabbing the attention of an elderly woman whose unimpressed gaze can be sensed from behind.

"Can I help you?" After facing her way, Cyrus snaps at her loud and clear.

She breaks eye contact and starts to walk away, making Jonah gaze over at Cyrus and scoff in awe.

"Maybe we should go back to school." He smiles.

"Which one?" Cyrus smirks.

"The one that _you_ need to get back to." He leads them on their way back to Starbucks, where TJ is still failing to exchange words with Reed that aren't about vaping.

"So where's your vape?" Reed asks him.

"What?" TJ didn't completely think this through.

"You know, your vape."

"Oh...! Uh, it's not here right now. You know, safety hazards. But uh I can show you it! When we're back-at school..." He claims this while trying to figure out how the hell he's going to make this work.

"Okay. Want a hit of mine?" Reed offers, holding it out for him.

"Oh." He giggles obnoxiously. "N-no thanks..."

If his hair were longer, he would twirl it in a flirty fashion.

 

Cyrus and Jonah have almost made their way there, until the new text on Jonah's phone brings him to a stop.

"Everything okay?" Cyrus isn't fond of his tense expression gazing down at the screen.

"Yeah." Jonah looks up. "Yeah. Uh, it's just my Dad, he knows I'm here and needs me to get him something..."

"Okay. You need me to go with you?"

"No, I'll just grab it, you can go see if Andi and Buffy are waiting for us."Jonah already starts heading over to where he needs to be.

Because he trusts him, Cyrus doesn't follow him, and instead goes into Starbucks where TJ's already separated himself from the rest of the group.

"Hey, how's it going with-"

"Cyrus we _need_ to go back to my place." TJ pulls him just before the area's exit so the others won't hear.

"Why, I don't think we'll have enough time."

"Then we have to go _now_. Where's everyone else."

"What do you need from there?" Cyrus asks him.

"The late vape."

"TJ, you're _never_ gonna be able to sell that thing."

"I'm not gonna _sell_ it I'm just gonna pass it off as my _own_ vape to Reed."

"Anyone can tell it doesn't work just by looking at it."

"I don't _care_ about that right now! Let's go."

"TJ, who cares."

" _I_ care."

"Dude, I think we should just get you a new vape altogether."

"Yeah. Too bad this place doesn't sell. Where are the girls?"

"In here, somewhere."

"They with Jonah?"

"I don't know where he went, either. He was acting weird. I think his Mom was reaching out to him." Cyrus tells him what he thinks.

"Oh, _shit..._ " TJ was hoping this wouldn't be an issue today, or for that matter, any other day.

"Yeah. About that you can _not_ tell him we saw her, alright?"

"What? Cyrus you _know_ I'm not good at keeping secrets." TJ grows panicked.

"You've been keeping it a secret ever since! You _have_ been, right." Cyrus needs to be sure that he hasn't overshared.

"Yeah, but now there's pressure because you _told_ me it's secret."

"You _knew_ it was a secret!"

"Yeah, I do _now!_ I'm gonna get my hot cheetos and see if I can find him."

"No!"

"Why not?!" TJ thinks Cyrus is against his food cravings.

"'Cause you'll end up saying something!" He means Jonah.

"Cyrus, maybe instead of dragging me into this, you should be honest with him." TJ sternly tells him what he doesn't want to hear, Cyrus gawking at him when he snappily walks off.

"If you say something I'm gonna kill you...!" He calls out in remorse, turning around and seeing Reed and the group of girls all staring at him from across the room at their table.

"Hey..." He knows he's going to regret this.

"What's up." Reed calls out.

"So, you're-Reed, right?" Cyrus hesitantly approaches them.

"Yeah, how 'bout you?"

"I'm Cyrus. TJ's best friend." He hopes Reed knows he already holds this position, and that he doesn't need anyone swiping it away. Especially someone like this guy, who TJ only adores because they happen to vape.

"Nice." Reed likes the sound of that. "He said he has to do something real quick, you wanna take his place quick?" He offers.

" _No._ " Cyrus unleashes the defense that's been building up inside him. " _I'm_ not going to 'take his place' just like _you_ aren't going to take _mine_." He looks anywhere but him after saying this, speeding out of the area full of adrenaline and feeling Reed's and girls' baffled stares until he's hidden inside the dollar section.

If things play out as predicted, it looks like TJ's gonna be killing him right back.

 

TJ, who, after getting his spicy Cheetos, has happened to take an interest in what he and Cyrus used to call 'the awkward aisle', which consists of things like pads, tampons, lube, condoms and pregnancy tests. The section that happens to be right across from where Jonah is checking out his new purchase of medication.

"Jonah?" Holding his Cheeto bag, TJ stands right in front of the condom selection, down at the far end of the aisle's left side.

"Oh. Hey..." Knowing there's no way out of this one, Jonah comes walking over from the pharmacy counter with the bag that contains his bottle of medication.

"That your Dad's?" TJ assumes.

"Uh...No. I had to get a new set of mine." Jonah might as well fess up.

"Why, what happened to the other ones?"

Jonah keeps a good eye on the pharmacist who's thankfully making his way into the back.

"My _Mom_ , that's what happened." He faces TJ and speaks lowly.

"Fuck, you saw her?" This _really_ isn't helping TJ's sacred need to open his mouth about how he and Cyrus saw her too. It's almost too easy.

"Yeah, the other night. She tried stealing 'em then got rid of them altogether just to fuck with me."

"Shit..." Instead of still wanting to tell him the truth, right now, TJ doesn't know what to say.

"Thankfully my doctor believed me and ordered these in." Jonah looks to the bag.

"Y-Yeah..." Now TJ's back to almost breaking.

"Uh, so, who you into?" Jonah motions to the shelves of condoms TJ was browsing.

" _Oh. That._ Uh...I dunno. Ya know just in case..."

"Yeah." Jonah doesn't see why he's so hesitant about it. "You okay?"

" _Yeah!_ Y-yeah I'm fine." TJ's chuckling awkwardly and scratching the back of his neck.

"Are you nervous?"

"Nothing's really been assessed yet, so..."

"Gotcha. And hey, one more thing. Could you...Not tell Cyrus about this?"

TJ's pupils shrink and his chest tightens.

"I just don't want to worry him about where the other ones went, so."

"Uh-huh!" TJ blurts in the midst of sweating. " _Totally_."

"TJ _please_. I _know_ you're bad at keeping things but it can't get out. I'll buy your stuff for you, okay?" Jonah's in need of convincing.

"No, okay, it's fine. Just-what are you gonna do about that?" TJ points to what it is Jonah holds.

"Ugh." Jonah notices. "Here." He takes out the bottle and throws the bag into the trash.

"Okay, so what now..." It's not like that solves anything.

"I have an idea."

 

"My Dad needed sandwich bags..." At Starbucks, Jonah approaches Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi with TJ by his side, holding the bag containing the already opened box of sandwich bags-one of which in particular holding Jonah's new set of pills, the bottle that contained them already buried inside the nearest trash can.

Cyrus had insisted on sitting as far away from Reed and the girls as possible, refusing to tell Andi and Buffy why, just like he plans on not telling TJ or Jonah.

"Why are we sitting back here?" TJ realizes. He and Jonah had walked past Reed and the others rather awkwardly, exchanging prolonged stares and painful eye contact.

"Better view." Cyrus claims.

"We going to my house or what?" TJ asks.

" _TJ,"_ Buffy starts.

"I'll be quick, I swear!" He's already rushing back over to Reed.

"Hey, sorry, I had to help my friend get something. I'll see you back at school?"

"You got it man."

TJ truly appreciates his fist bump.

"Hey..." Reed gets his attention just after he's started to walk off.

"Yeah?" TJ looks to him.

He points to his bag of hot Cheetos. "I like hot Cheetos too."

First TJ smiles so hard that he feels his cheekbones might shatter, and now the giggle he lets out is almost so awkward that he feels like he's never going to be able to move again.

It takes him a good fifteen seconds to actually get rid of his smile, turn around, and walk back to his friends.

"My cheeks feel sore." He shares.

"What was that." Cyrus asks in response.

"What, you think _I_ know?" TJ turns defensive, and the others grow so suspicious that it gives them all short lived migraines.

 

Since Buffy's car was the one they rode over with to the store, Buffy and Andi didn't exactly have a choice when tagging along with Jonah and Cyrus to go with TJ to his house.

"Am I the only one who thinks that TJ is acting... _Really_ weird?" Buffy asks, sitting with Andi on TJ's couch, next to Cyrus who has his arm linked around Jonah sitting right beside him.

"No." The rest of them simultaneously respond.

"Okay, I'm just gonna say it: he's acting _really_ gay for that Reed guy." Andi puts out there.

"Yeah." Jonah starts.

"Pretty much." Cyrus adds.

"Agreed." Buffy finishes.

"So...Do we talk to him about it?" Jonah wonders.

"Not yet. He'll just get all spazzy and flustered." Cyrus knows it, to which the rest of them again agree.

"You guys _could_ help me, you know!" TJ screams from upstairs in his room, had been looking around for the lost late vape for almost ten minutes now.

"Think he heard us?" Buffy mutters.

Based on all the noise he's making, Cyrus highly doubts it.

"TJ, hurry up! We _gotta_ get back!" Andi yells up to him.

" _Gimme two more minutes!_ "

This has Jonah and Cyrus smirk to each other.

"Are you sure you should bring TJ to your Mom's...?" Buffy asks Cyrus.

"He can wait in the car."

" _Found_ it!" They hear TJ sing-song from within his room, practically skipping downstairs and showing it off once within in everyone's sight.

"TJ you're _not_ gonna pass that off as yours." Andi states.

"It _is_ mine!"

"Okay but it's obviously broken." Buffy says.

"He doesn't have to know that,"

"He _will_ know that..." Jonah gives the thing another odd look.

"What makes Reed so special anyway?" Cyrus displays his envy. "The guy looks nothing but full of himself."

" _Uh-!"_ TJ sounds in offense. "I think you're just jealous 'cause _I_ finally have a _vape buddy."_

"Yeah well something tells me that he does _more_ than vape." Cyrus snaps, TJ gasping in overdramatic shock as his Mom comes walking into the house with groceries.

"Hi kids," she enters the room after setting them in the kitchen. "I saw your car." She motions to Buffy. "Isn't your lunch period almost over?"

"Yes. Let's go, TJ." Buffy glares at him.

"Alright, c'mon."

"Oh. TJ." Ms. Kippen faces him. "I just wanted to let you know that early Thanksgiving has been moved down to this Sunday."

"Mom, we're _not_ gonna be able to prepare everything in time-"

"Oh, I think it would be just _lovely_ if you four could make it." Ms. Kippen faces the others seated on the couch.

"Oh, uh..." Buffy starts, the four of them each desperately trying to come up with excuses.

"Yeah!" TJ cuts in. "Right guys? _Please?_ "

They can see the evil hidden behind his best attempt at puppy eyes.

"We'll see." Buffy smiles bitterly.

"Yeah uh, you know, school, and stuff..." Jonah excuses.

"And I...Am already going turkey hunting with TJ and his Dad." Cyrus feels that already makesup for it.

"Oh, that reminds me. TJ, your father will be there." Ms. Kippen informs.

" _What?!"_

And so, on the way back to the high school, Buffy, Andi, Jonah and Cyrus all have it to hear it from TJ about how they _better_ be going to his family's early Thanksgiving or else he'll...He didn't really get to that part because he didn't want to sound too harsh.

"I'm _serious_ dude." TJ's repeating himself to Cyrus as he pulls up with him in front Harriet and Ron's house after school, gulping down another long chug of his blue power-ade before continuing. "You _have_ to be there. Remember that pact we made in the third grade?"

"Do _you?_ " Cyrus asks him.

"No, but I'm sure it was important. I'm doing this for _you."_ TJ turns off the car and unbuckles himself.

"Uh, about that."

"What..."

"I don't think you should really—come in. My Mom, she-"

"It's the _vaping_ , isn't it?" TJ accuses.

"That, and—other things."

" _What_ other things, I barely ever spoke to her! Is _that_ it?"

"She thinks you're gay, alright?" Cyrus confesses.

" _What?"_ TJ frowns. "And you never bothered to tell me?"

"Not really." Cyrus shrugs.

"It's _you_ who's the gay one. Trust me. I'm _hella_ straight." TJ claims. "Okay _maybe,_ ” the tips of his thumb and index finger just barely connect. "Maybe I'm bar-sexual."

" _What_ the hell is that." Cyrus asks.

"You know, where you're straight other than the nights when you go to bars and have sex with the same sex." TJ just about snaps at him.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about." Cyrus now honestly just wants to get inside.

"I dunno, Tyra Banks said it."

"TJ, either way, you know we all love you. And if you like Reed, then, that's totally normal. You don't need to impress him with vapes." Cyrus lets him know.

"I know..." TJ's trying not to blush. "Thanks. I tried to approach him back at school but he kept talking to more girls."

"Then he's nothing but a straight douche. Literally." Cyrus smirks.

"Yeah, they're kinda my type."

"We're gonna have to fix that." Cyrus opens the glove compartment and takes out his brother's Paw Patrol gift.

"Shouldn't you wrap that thing?" TJ observes  it.

"It's fine." Cyrus unbuckles and opens his door.

"Be right back, bottom."

"You know this is why you were supposed to be the last to know, right?" TJ asks, grinning and shaking his head at him.

"Oh honey, I was the first to find out."

This gets TJ snickering at Cyrus as he watches him walk up the lawn and onto the porch before the front door.

After Cyrus knocks, thankfully it's Ron who greets him.

"Cyrus." He automatically shakes his hand. "Come on in."

"Hey..." Cyrus tries to keep a straight face as Ron moves his grip from his hand to his back and leads him inside.

"Hi Cyrus!" Emily, his twelve-year old step sister comes springing out of the living room with Madeline, her sister of the same age.

"Hey, girls." He observes them both, almost struggling to remember how he was the age they are now when he first met them.

Emily's Mexican with brown eyes and her black hair up in a ponytail, whereas Madeline is white with eyes that are green and her hair consisting of dirty blonde curls.

They've each exceeded more in height and weight, Cyrus having a content feeling that they're both growing the way they're supposed to.

"It's been so long." He walks over and hugs them both. "You'll be taller than me, soon."

They giggle at him. "How long you've had those?" He points to the braces on Emily's teeth. "A while."

"I just got mine off." Maddie shares. "Emily’s getting contacts, soon."

"Hey, look at you guys." Just hearing all this makes Cyrus absolutely hate how wasn't there to witness these transformations happen for themselves. A lot happens between second and seventh grade, just like a lot happens between seventh grade and senior year.

"Are you eighteen, now?" Madeline remembers.

"Yup."

"Wow." Says Emily.

"Yeah, it's pretty exciting." He jokes, getting them to laugh.

"So uh," Cyrus looks to Ron. "Where's Kade, did he have a good day?"

"Cyrus!" It's like he shows up on cue, making Cyrus shove the toy behind his back and over-dramatically light up at his presence. "What's up buddy?!" He asks, as Kade comes skipping over to him.

"So you're six now, huh?"

"Yup."

"That's awesome."

"What's that?" Kade points to Cyrus' arm that's already getting tired from holding the toy in the same place.

"Oh, uh, close your eyes."

They all grin when he does.

"Open them." He holds the toy in front of his face, beaming at the kid's excited gasp.

"Paw Patrol!" He takes it from him, Cyrus giggling with the rest of them and telling him happy birthday.

"What do you say?" Ron asks Kade.

" _Thank_ you!" Kade faces Cyrus.

"You got it." He smiles, considering touching him but then awkwardly facing away towards Ron.

"So uh, where's Mom?" He wishes he didn't have to ask.

"She's upstairs, somewhere. Insisting on making dinner."

It's then when Cyrus prays that they won't ask him to stay for that.

"Got it..."

There's an abrupt knock on the door.

"Either of you know who that is?" Ron looks to the girls, while Cyrus is turning nothing but suspicious and dreadful.

"No."

"I can get it..." Cyrus walks over to do so, and surely enough, it's the same person he specifically instructed _not_ to come inside.

"What TJ." He sees he's clutching onto his crotch and lightly bouncing up and down.

"I gotta pee _so_ bad."

The rest of them all awkwardly watch from afar.

"There's a bush ten feet away from you!"

"You want me to go right here?!"

"Al _right_ , fine." Cyrus rolls his eyes and lets him, TJ pushing his bladder aside and greeting the kids when they reach the kitchen.

"Guys, uh, this is TJ. You met him once, I think."

As far as Cyrus can remember, TJ was teaching Kade how to stomp on a ladybug.

"Uh-huh, yeah." Emily remembers, both her and Madeline nodding their heads.

"You guys remember me?" TJ's truly honored, stepping over and bringing them both in for hugs.

"I always knew I liked you kids." 

After the girls chuckle forcefully, TJ pats both their heads and lightly pushes them away from him.

"Hello sir." He faces Ron. "May I be guided to your facilities?"

Cyrus rolls his eyes.

"Right down there." Ron points down the nearest hall.

"Thank you." TJ finally looks to Kade, who's been observing in silence.

"Happy birthday buddy." TJ quickly pats his shoulder before turning away and making his way off.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Madeline asks after a few silent moments.

"I can _promise_ you he isn't."

Over the years, the girls have heard a thing or two about Cyrus being gay, and the last time he had seen them he and Jonah were still just friends.

They would hear Harriett make comments about how Cyrus is 'still seeing that boy', that boy being Jonah. They could tell she was never happy about it, and to this day, she still isn't. "Cyrus?" Now standing on top of the stairwell, Emily relating the word 'boyfriend' to Cyrus had dangerously caught her ear.

"Hey, Mom..." His attempts to sound even a little bit intrigued aren't exactly paying off.

"How are you."

He knows she's only hugging him to put on a good show.

"Good..."

Although right now he's not sure he means it. After a few moments that feel like a lifetime, she pulls away, just in time for TJ to come walking out. He doesn't notice Harriett until after he's finished zipping up his pants, freezing in embarrassment and trying to hold eye contact with that unimpressed look she's giving him.

"Hi Ms. Goodman. I mean Mrs, Mrs. Turner." He should've rehearsed this.

"It's actually Mrs. Truman, now." She glances to Ron.

"Right..."

"How are you, TJ." She looks back towards him.

"Good...! You know, just...Yeah." He was so focused on the discomfort this would put Cyrus through, that he wasn't thinking about the uncomfortable pain it's currently causing  _him_.

"So, what do you say we get dinner started?" Ron's a saint for bringing it up.

"Sounds lovely." Harriett responds. "Do you two eat noodles?" She looks to Cyrus and TJ. "It's Kade's favorite."

"Oh, uh, I almost forgot," Cyrus starts.

"Kade, should we stay? It's up to you." TJ looks to him.

" _Yeah!_ " The kid couldn't be happier.

"You got it." He points his way with both thumbs.

"Noodles sound lovely." He looks to Harriett, as Cyrus is currently in the middle of trying not to fume.

"Alright, give it an hour, kids?" She gets their attention. "Why don't you go show them the living room. You can play around until it's ready."

TJ grins at the thought of this.

"Look what Cyrus got me!" Kade shows off his toy, Harriett not noticing it till now.

"Did you say thank you?" Harriett's question has Cyrus chuckle automatically. "He did, yeah."

"You pulled it outta thin air too, right?" Ron jokes, to which Harriett instantly gaslights Cyrus, "You couldn't even bother to wrap it?"

Then and there a discomforting stiffness fills the air, and the lump in Cyrus' throat is so big it's almost why he can't speak.

"Har', it's fine. My folks used to shove my presents in grocery bags and send them off." It's easy to see that Ron is the more rational one in the relationship.

As the girls are holding back from rolling their eyes at her, Cyrus and TJ quickly lead her and Kade into the particular room, where Cyrus and the girls quickly bond over watching random Spongebob clips on YouTube, and TJ texts with Jonah about how things are going.

 **Hey, I'm just finishing up this class, are u guys still there?** Jonah asks him.

 **Yeah. We're getting along with the kids, the dad's sane, the mom's just kinda a bitch.** TJ responds.

**Yeah, I figured. How long u guys staying?**

**I guess till after dinner. Rn things are fine we're just sitting with the kids but we'll see how things go.**

**Well good luck. Guess I'll see u guys afterwards?** Jonah asks.

 **If we make it out alive.** TJ jokes.

**Lmao funny. Text me if anything's wrong.**

**See ya.**

That's where their conversation ends, and since Cyrus seems too preoccupied watching YouTube with his sisters, TJ turns to Kade, who's watching YouTube himself, on his iPad with the volume low.

"Whatcha watching there..." He sees that it's some sort of Minecraft commentary.

"Gaming." Kade keeps his eyes on the screen.

"Nice...You know, when I was your age, I didn't use this stuff as much as you guys do now. Whenever I watched YouTube my parents would be over my shoulder the whole time." TJ goes on, and while Kade looks at him this time, he can tell that his chuckle is most likely forced.

"So how's it feel to be six?"

"I dunno. Cool I guess."

"That's cool. I remember when I was six. It was when I met Cyrus. I shoved him on the playground for taking my dump truck and we became friends when I was forced to wait in the nurse’s office with him.”

TJ stops himself before he bores the kid to sleep, and decides watching Spongebob with Cyrus and the girls will be much more entertaining, which it is, so much in fact that Kade actually joins in and they all end up laughing so much that Ron and Harriett can easily hear them.

After that's been said and done, Harriett almost burns herself on the stove when she overhears Madeline asking Cyrus if he has a boyfriend.

"Yeah, he's been dating him for like, six years." TJ answers for him with a giant smirk, glancing to Cyrus who scoffs his way and nods to the kids.

"What's his name?" Asks Emily.

"Jonah." Cyrus says before TJ can, taking out his phone right as the girls are asking to see his picture.

"He's cute." Madeline says, looking with Emily and Kade at the latest single photo of Jonah that Cyrus took, of him standing in the parking lot of the high school from earlier today.

"Yeah, he's alright." Cyrus jokes, getting the rest to snicker.

"Six years, so you started dating him when you were _our_ age?" Emily grins.

"Technically, yes, but that does _not_ mean your middle school relationships will be your be all end all's." Cyrus knowledgeably warns them.

"Ew. I don't even like anyone right now." Emily says.

"My crush's name is Sophonie." Madeline brings up, the boys automatically lighting up in response.

Unfortunately, this catches Harriett's ear.

"What's she like?" TJ's trying not to smile too much, sneaking to Cyrus another grin.

"She's cool, she's from Haiti."

"Yeah, she asks her for _gum._ " Emily teasingly gloats, cracking up with the rest of them, the boys communicating their mutual enthusiasm with smiles and facial expressions.

"' _Ooh,_ Madeline, give me your gum because I'm—not straight.'" Emily jokes, TJ and Cyrus‘ laughter eventually growing silent, forcing themselves to finish up as Madeline and Emily are beaming to each other, and Harriett decides to interrupt what enjoyment it is they're having.

"Kids? Could you uh, help me set the table?" She steps into the entrance of the room.

"Sure..." Emily answers, getting up with the rest of them and going to help.

It doesn't help Cyrus' case that Harriett wants to engage in conversation with him as this takes place.

"So Cyrus, do you know where you'll be going to college yet?" She asks this as she resumes cooking Kade's favorite noodles at the stove.

"Oh..." He carefully sets down silverware around the table, the girls getting the plates, and TJ carrying the cups across the room all in one stack as Kade prepares the napkins. "Uh, probably somewhere around here."

"You haven't put much thought into it?" She assumes. "Aren't application deadlines coming up?"

"I mean, early ones, yeah." Cyrus finishes up and shrugs her way.

"I see." She clearly doesn't approve of this. "And what about you, TJ?" She looks to the boy who almost drops what he holds down to the floor.

"Oh. Hey. Yeah, uh, I'm doing two years at a community place around here and'l transfer somewhere else later on." He explains.

"Got it."

"Yeah, my Mom doesn't want me leaving home just yet." He says, giving Cyrus a look when he sees he's thinking about saying something snarky.

"That reminds me." He brings up. "My Mom's having this big dinner on Sunday, and I was wondering if you guys would wanna come."

He ignores Cyrus' blatant glare.

"Oh, um, TJ that's very nice of you to offer, but..."

Cyrus sighs in relief as Harriett starts to decline.

"What's this about?" Ron comes returning from the bathroom.

"TJ invited us to dinner on Sunday." Emily speaks up, finishing up the plates with Madeline and looking over to him.

"Oh, well that sounds lovely, thank you TJ."

TJ beams at Ron's politeness.

"Are you sure it's okay with her? We wouldn't want to overstay our welcome." Ron points out.

"Oh no trust me. She's _very_ lonely." This gives TJ a few odd stares from those around him.

"TJ? A word?" Cyrus is going to waste no time calling him out on this.

"I haven't put the cups down, yet."

Cyrus ignores him and pulls him into the dining room anyway.

" _Why_ would you do that. You know our Moms hate each other."

"Right. Why is that again?" TJ asks.

"Remember the gun range?" Cyrus reminds him of the instance that took place when they were fourteen.

" _Righhhht."_ TJ remembers now. "She hasn't gotten over that?"

"It's my _Mom_. She gets over nothing." Cyrus states.

"Well maybe your Mom will be petty enough to not go! I'll make up for _all_ of this. I promise." TJ flashes a thumbs up and almost drops the cups again.

"Let's just get this over with before you do something that'll make my Mom resent you."

They go back into the other room, where TJ does his job without trying to overthink what it is Harriett judges him for.

"So TJ, do you still vape?" She brings up the most dreaded topic in mind.

"What? No ma'am. Of course not." He says out of instinct.

"Vaping's bad for you, right guys?" He looks over to the kids now seated all on the same side of the table.

"Yeah..." Madeline responds skeptically, the other two randomly nodding along.

Cyrus steps back into the dining room just to release a long-needed sigh.

 

Dinner can't seem to come around soon enough, and when it does, Harriett decides to bring up the topic of Cyrus' relationship.

"So if I'm not wrong, Cyrus, you're still seeing Jonah?" She asks him.

"Oh, yeah." His response is shamelessly proud and purposely spiteful.

"Are you gonna be away from each other when you guys go to college?" Madeline asks.

"He's already in college. He goes to BDU, it's not a long drive."

"You're dating a _college_ boy?" Emily teases, snickering along with her sister and the three boys.

"Technically, yes."

"How's he handling it?" Ron asks.

"Uh, he's a bit overwhelmed." Cyrus answers honestly.

"He's not getting into trouble is he?" Harriett just has to ask.

"No..."

"Huh. It'd be quite hypocritical of you to get mad over that." Ron humorously comments to his wife, TJ laughing a bit too much in response.

"I thought someone else would laugh..." He responds to Cyrus' stare.

"How far away is this college?" Harriett asks.

"From our houses, about thirty minutes."

"You still must see him often." Ron says.

"Yeah, well, TJ knows that route by the back of his hand by now." Cyrus smirks at him.

"Yeah, probably. Even after you get your license you'll still make me drive you."

"Oh, so you have faith in me now?"

Harriett interrupts their laughter. "You don't have your license?"

"No..." Cyrus purposely eats up a few of his noodles.

"Why would you when you can just Uber everywhere." Emily says, Cyrus almost laughing the food out of his mouth and Madeline adding on, "'Cause crazy people can drive you."

TJ chuckles.

"How's Jonah's family doing." Ron brings up.

"His parents get divorced yet?" Harriett asks.

"Mom..."

"Oh Cyrus honey we know they were never happy."

"What, like you and Dad were never happy?" He can't help but mutter.

" _Cyrus._ "

"Well, I'm just saying, it's not a taboo thing. TJ has divorced parents and so do the girls." He shrugs. "Not a big deal."

"What's your Mom like." TJ asks the girls. "Oh shit, was I not supposed to ask that?"

"No, you're fine." Madeline, Emily and Ron all laugh.

"They see her often." Ron shares, Harriett not looking too happy about that.

"So, Jonah's parents, it seems like things are patching up between them?" She assumes.

"Um...They're the same, I guess. Julia's having some...Emotional issues." Cyrus speaks about it carefully.

"No _kidding_ , she passed them right down to the kid."

" _Jesus_ Mom." He's been trying not to get snappy.

" _What?_ She still messing around with those pills?”

“That was _years_ ago.”

“Jonah hasn't followed in her footsteps, has she?" She pries further, TJ exchanging discomforted looks with Ron and the kids.

"Um, you know what?" He speaks up confidently. "It's Kade's day, uh, Kade, what do you wanna talk about?" He looks to child with noodles hanging down his chin.

"I dunno..." Right now he’s too uncomfortable to initiate, Harriett automatically telling him not to talk with food in his mouth.

" _TJ.”_ Ron starts strongly, knowing the subject needs a desperate change.

" _Yes_. What's up..." He points at him.

"What about you. How're your parents." Apparently he's not aware of the beef that Harriett has with them.

"Oh, well uh, I'm seeing my Dad tomorrow. He's good I guess."

"Good, and your Mom?"

Cyrus can see Harriett glare off into space.

"Oh, her? Uh, she's good. She just got onChristian Mingle, I'm pretty sure. It's kinda weird. She listens to a lot of modern music now. I think it's a mid-life crisis." He overshares.

"Ah, and your Dad...?" Ron ignores the peculiarity.

"Uhhhh..." TJ needs to think about it. "Last time I checked he was seeing some girl named Hannah. I'll found out more tomorrow. He's taking Cyrus and me turkey hunting."

Harriett has to laugh.

"So your Mom's just letting you two run around with guns again?"

"Did you _not_ hear him?"Cyrus is uptight, and TJ now regrets bringing this up at all.

"Oh _Jesus_ Cyrus, watch your tone." She retorts.

“What's your _problem?_ " He asks. "That you're _so_ insecure that we can't even _talk_ about other people without you judging them? What do you say about me when I'm _not_ here, tell me."

Strangely enough, it already looks like Ron knows exactly what's been said.

"That you're _wasting_ your time still seeing that fantasy boyfriend of yours." She snaps, and now he's laughing prettily.

"Of _course._ That's all it's _ever_ been about, right. Just 'cause things didn't work out with the first person you loved doesn't mean they _won't_ work out for me."

"I can a _ssure_ you that _neither_ of you know what love is." Harriett won't glance past her own views.

" _You_ sure seemed like you thought you did; getting pregnant straight out of _high school."_ He didn't mean for it to come out so harshly, but at this point he doesn't really care.

"Getting pregnant with Kade before the divorce was even _finalized_." He might as well add on.

”Would you rather he not be here?!"

"That's _not_ what I said."

" _Facilities!"_ TJ spontaneously announces, getting up and going right to the cabinets where everyone but Emily is too focused on Harriett and Cyrus' tension to watch him.

As the words grow harsher and the volume they’re spoken with increases, TJ checks in every cabinet until he finds the spices and sugars, spotting the cinnamon and pouring more than a few drops onto his tongue.

" _Shit!"_ The exclaim brings all the attention to him.

"What'd you just do??" Emily asks.

"Uh." TJ sets the shaker down and speaks with a numbing tongue.

"I guess I'm allergic to this..." But that, he already knew.

"What's gonna happen to him??" Madeline panics as the rest of them increase their alert.

" _Uhhhh..."_ Cyrus hops out of his chair and takes TJ by the arm. "He just needs a shot. We're gonna have to go to the hospital I'm so sorry." Making a stop at the center counter, he grabs their phones and continues over to the door.

"Bye! Send prayers!"

TJ quickly slips Emily a twenty out of his wallet before they exit, and Cyrus smacks TJ's head once they reach the porch.

" _Owe!_ What was _that_ for?!" TJ asks, struggling to sound steady with an inflaming tongue.

"There’s _no_ other way you could’ve gotten us out of there?!"

"Are we going to the hospital or _not?"_

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." TJ walks down onto the long, Cyrus shortly catching up with him.

"You're an _idiot."_ He laughs, getting a good look at him and giving him a good shove before they laugh their way to the car.

A true friend, is what he is.

 

**Hey dude. I had the best idea ever and got us out of there. I gave myself an allergic reaction and we just left the hospital.**

Jonah is quite concerned by the text TJ sends him about twenty minutes later.

**Are u ok??**

**Yeah man, bringing Cyrus to you rn.**

Standing alone in the kitchen of his home, Jonah exhales at this and gets back to excitedly yet nervously anticipating their arrival.

 

TJ still hasn't been able to stop sticking out his tongue, since the swelling went down.

"We _get_ it. You want to eat ass." Cyrus' gay jokes have been continuing on. He's chortled at.

"You're _never_ gonna let me hear the end of it, are you." He pulls into Jonah's neighborhood, where Cyrus didn't think that they would be.

"What are you doing here."

TJ smirks. "Stop asking questions."

But that's all Cyrus does as they pull up in front of the other boy's home.

"Dude, just _go!"_ He laughs. "Go see your boyfriend."

"Only if you see _yours."_ Cyrus teases, unstrapping his seatbelt.

"Ha- _ha."_ TJ pushes him by the shoulder.

"So before I go, you need any tips?"

"On what, coming out?"

"Guy sex."

TJ scoffs and flushes up. "Just _go,_ shit-head."

Cyrus grins. "You know, if you need me to give you condoms for _you_ to give to the guys that'll be fucking you 'cause you're such a _bottom bitch boy,"_ he's having too much fun with this.

"Oh, _fuck you,_ get out." TJ smiles, Cyrus respecting his wishes and laughing with him until they hug goodbye.

When Cyrus is halfway up Jonah's lawn, TJ honks the horn.

" _What?!"_ He laughs, turning towards the car that now has its side front window pulled down.

"Sorry your Mom's such a bitch!" TJ smiles, making Cyrus cackle and apologize right back.

He’s still scoffing as TJ drives his way off, knocking on the door and growing ecstatic at Jonah's freeing presence.

"Welcome." He teases, taking hold of his wrist and taking him inside.

"This was sorta unexpected." Cyrus happily admits, Jonah closing the door and facing him.

"TJ and I may or may not have set this up. Is he o _kay_ , by the way?" He cringes in bewilderment.

"Yeah, he's fine. Just didn't think before he acted, like usual."

They chuckle.

"We talked about him and Reed. He'll no doubt talk to you about it too and I think you guys will have a nice chat." Cyrus informs, and the both of him beam.

"You guys still going turkey hunting tomorrow?" Jonah brings Cyrus closer.

He scoffs at the thought. "Yes. Always room for one more."

"Hm, I'll have to think about it." They giggle at Jonah’s teasing.

"How was your Mom's?" He knows it's a difficult question that'll have an even more difficult answer.

"I forgot how much I missed Kade and the girls. I wish I took pictures, they've gotten so big. Ron is nice. My Mom, well, she's bitchy and _that’s_ why TJ had to give himself an _allergy attack_ to get us out of there."

Crossing his arms, Jonah snickers and shakes his head. "You can tell me more later." He's aware he'd rather not say much more right now.

"You sure?" Cyrus jokes, and they scoff.

"I wanna show you something." Jonah couldn't look more proud. "C'mon." He takes hold of Cyrus' arm and leads him up the stairs.

"Is it another bath?"

"Better."

"Should I close my eyes?" Cyrus is all smiles, now.

"If you must."

He does, and Jonah leads him up into the bedroom, telling him to open his eyes as he lets go of him and springs forward.

"Viola."

Cyrus opens his eyes to Jonah proudly bouncing onto his fully made bed, only for the top right corner of the sheet to disconnect when he's set himself down. "I can fix that..."

Cyrus longingly giggles, shaking his head in astonishment but still nodding in approval.

"Oh my God." He runs over and jumps right on top of him, taking in Jonah's silly laugh and staring deeper into his eyes.

"How were your classes." He starts shuffling his fingers through his hair.

"Almost everlasting. But you're here now, aren't you?"

Cyrus strokes Jonah's cheek. "I can't wait for you to meet my step siblings. They'll love you. The girls already saw pictures of you."

Jonah giggles. "I love you."

Cyrus says it back by initiating the first of many kisses between them tonight, pressing his lips deeper against him and spending a few moments playing around with his hair.

Jonah disconnects their mouths and sucks in a deep breath, kissing him with much more force and feeling Cyrus' fingers trail up beneath the bottom of his shirt.

He removes his touch, stopping himself and gazing at him nervously, the both of them knowing that it just doesn't feel right to be intimate with one another all while being dishonest.

"I haven't been honest with you..." Cyrus admits.

"Oh thank _God_. I haven't been honest with you either." Jonah's relieved. "I'll go first." He feels it's best. "So uh...” They sit up across from each other. “I had to order in a new set of pills. That's what that text was about, at Target today." Now he can exhale.

"Why what happened, you sell the other ones?" Cyrus teases,not getting his expected response.

“Um..." Jonah's voice almost quivers as he dodges eye contact for a quick sec then looks back to him with eyes of pure devastation.

"My Mom..."

"Jonah she _didn't..._ " Cyrus doesn't understand why he's even baffled.

"No, she didn't. She was a _bout_ to, but...Then she threw them in the sewer drain. Jerome was there. Saw everything.” He looks away once more.

" _Jonah."_ Cyrus whispers, caressing his cheek and sets his eyes before his.

"I'm _so_ sorry."

"Just don't tell my Dad, alright...?" Jonah fears he may start to cry. "He's been out looking for her, and I don't know what else he can do..."

"He's looking for her?" This brings Cyrus into his revelation.

"Yeah..."

"This is what I was gonna tell you. TJ and I, we saw her. This morning, getting cigarettes at the gas station on Parkway.” He alerts him.

Jonah sighs deeply. “Just cigarettes?"

"Yeah..."

"You see her car?"

"That's the thing—it wasn't her car. It was someone else's. She was getting a ride from this man, and—" he feels it's best he doesn't continue.

"Jesus." Jonah whispers and rolls his eyes. "She's probably selling herself..."

Cyrus moves in closer and lays him back down. "Hey." He whispers. "You need some time?"

"Mm, no." Jonah sends a hard kiss to his cheek and pulls Cyrus on top of him. "Dis _tract_ me." He grins goofily, making Cyrus giggle in amusement and initiate their next kiss, wasting no time on getting to Jonah's request.

It's pretty safe to say that Jonah's sex drive decline never really did kick in, and frankly, Cyrus is completely okay with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you guys know that I’m still alive, pls let know that you’re alive and respondent by commenting your thoughts. That is, if you’re still here.


End file.
